Spoiler It looks like we're going to go with "increasingly contrived excuses why Noelle misses every battle." Spoiler On the other hand, she sure is pulling her weight, what with her radical notions about actually helping each other with puzzles. Spoiler Gaaaaaaaaay. (complimentary)
Spoiler Okay I know that screenshot doesn't tell you much, but in another medium you would have noticed with me that the music stopped and therefore shit's about to go down. Spoiler Oooh, right, I forgot to tell you the plot. Woops. Spoiler Hm. I suddenly understand your dismay, Noelle. Spoiler Curse your sudden yet inevitable betrayal of the truce I never agreed to and didn't want! Spoiler Bad mom energy... overwhelming... Spoiler Don't threaten me with a good time.
Spoiler Ugh, now we're gonna have to rescue you. I mean, I would just beat Queen up right now and solve everything, but it turns out my choices don't matter. Spoiler Hi Birdly! Fancy seeing you here, all not-suspended-over-a-river-of-acid. Spoiler You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. Spoiler Yes, it caught me off guard, seeing as how you just left them on the mantel in the first act. Spoiler *sings like John Oliver* Geeeeeeeeet, reeeeeeeeeekt, Neeeeeeeeeeeeerd!
Spoiler We can deduce either that Kris is in their early teens at best, or ace, or that every computer they've ever encountered has had child-safe search filters on. Spoiler I guess you could say that we're... "STUCK"???
Your name is KRIS DREEMUR. You stand in a place that is not your bedroom, filled with things you DON'T ACTUALLY LIKE, that nonetheless reveals more about you than your ACTUAL ROOM. Spoiler You like to watch two of your mom play the PIANO, and you have mastered tunes from several of your FAVORITE VIDEO GAMES. Spoiler You enjoy novelty toiletries TUMBLR MEMES and/or HOMEMADE EXPLOSIVES Spoiler as well as jello molds depicting KNIVES. Spoiler Your BROTHER is away at COLLEGE, and you AWAIT HIS RETURN with what is hopefully EAGERNESS and/or DESPERATION, though your HABITUAL DEADPAN makes your true emotions DIFFICULT TO DISCERN. Spoiler You have often wished that you were a slight-of-hand illusionist JUST LIKE HIM. What will you do?
*record scratch* Hold up. I bet you're wondering how we got out of that laser cage. Well, you see... Spoiler Since you're ten or eleven in most card games, I'm going to assume you didn't mean that the way it sounded. Spoiler Somebody had to say it, and now you said it. Spoiler Not pictured: ordering 999 shovels. Spoiler
Spoiler Helpful indeed! (Though I do wonder where Rouxls is...) Spoiler Uh-oh. Maybe he's not compatible with this Dark World? Spoiler Attagirl, Susie. Spoiler Okay, but you know he won't actually shut up, right? Come to think of it... there's a lot of doors in this room. Spoiler Uh-oh. The nature of Queen's plan is quickly becoming clear. Spoiler O.o
Spoiler Reaction image. Spoiler Yep, I definitely believe you. This is my believing face: -_- Spoiler O.o And you call yourself a gamer. (Was that the generic "you," or does he mean Susie knows how to wavedash?)
Spoiler Oh ffs, is this a "tragic" backstory? Spoiler Oh for fuck's sake, this is actually working on me. Spoiler What tipped you off? Was it the giant golden statue of yourself with nipples? Spoiler Oh, cool, you're conscious. Spoiler You did fine! Actually I think Ralsei's too soft-spoken to ever get through his thick head.
Spoiler Hold on... These puzzles aren't actually blocking our path in any way. We're just moving lights around to one-up each other.
Spoiler Have you considered: saying no? Spoiler Oh, sure, you can say no to us. Spoiler Called it. Spoiler See, a Darkner who is reduced to an object in the Light World wouldn't have described it like that. Even a Darkner who somehow knew that Kris and Susie got to Castle Town through a school in the Light World wouldn't include himself in a "we" who could bring things there. He didn't even say "to the school." He just said "to school." Like he goes there, or used to.
btw, this is most likely a reference to a guy who has a Youtube series all about Making Knives Out Of Weird Materials, with titles such as "world's sharpest jello knife": Spoiler The channel's name is "Kiwami Japan"
That increases the chance that Kris was looking for the bath bomb meme rather than actually making explosives in their bathtub.
Spoiler You forgot to lock the doors. Spoiler We don't need your ruuuuules, maaaaaan! Spoiler Also, we're trying to recruit your butlers.
there's also an actual product called a bath bomb, you put it into water and it fizzes and releases scents and colours kris may have been looking for the citric-acid-and-sodium-bicarbonate + additives Thing To Put In The Bath
Spoiler Kinky! Hm, let me guess. You are the "Tasque Mistress"? Spoiler Ah, right, computer puns. Well, I was close. Spoiler THIS EPISODE WAS POORLY WRITTEN!!! Spoiler Seems she really wants to make the Lightners at home here. Forever... Spoiler That title stands out a bit more in this world than the one where everything was cards and chess pieces. You know... we know Kris took their soul out last night, and did things we didn't see. And today there's a new dark world. Knight = Night K?
Ah, but that would mean that Queen furnished Kris' room with something they actually wanted. Seems unlikely.
Spoiler We're meeting all his standards!!!! Spoiler I mean, sure, what's not to like? Just the two of us... alone... on a boat... lit only by the warm glow of deadly acid... Spoiler I am realizing two facts about Ralsei right now. 1) He spent his whole life in the closet. 2) He spent his whole life in the closet.
Spoiler Uh. No, Rouxls. We knew we were bringing you here. We've been wondering where you were, actually. Spoiler That was almost snarky! I'm starting to see the upside of leaving you alone with Susie. Spoiler Wait. You came here to betray us? Dude. You could have asked to be Duke of Puzzles in Castle Town, and Ralsei would have just laughed nervously and said "sure I guess." Now we have to defeat you with embarrassing ease again. Spoiler ... I knew I should have gone full Ducky.