Started by some comments in another thread, people seem to have fun talking about what they would be if they were a ridiculous cartoon supervillain! my supervillainsona is less a villain and more an extremely hazardous side character: a brilliant scientist who starts projects and gets distracted partway through, leaving the project to mutate into a super pathogen, become sentient, open a portal to a new dimension, etc etc What would you be?
probably steals stuff as a way of paying for college that's WAY more interesting than waitressing or something. runs around in impractically bright clothing (like, cheshire cat pink/purple), which is in the grand supervillain tradition somewhat tiny. (ie crop top and shorts, long socks, something like that) Totally wants to be bffs with anyone trying to stop them, or help them, or basically just everyone around them makes bad cat puns, glomps people Is super problematic for looking twelve while wearing small clothes
Oh also my supervillainsona mostly robs makeup clothes and jewelry stores, or abducts designers. And has a really annoying villainness laugh but refuses to identify as female and has no boobs but hella hips and legs. V problematic. They know smartphone-fu which is like martial arts except with a phone and also you take selfies while doing it and most of it is posing (I'm making a parody of myself and it's strangely satisfying)
( @IvyLB I know, it's so much fun!) my supervillainsona refuses to say their gender if people are asking, and just messes with everyone and likes to show up behind people and startle them, and steal phones to take selfies on you can technically hire them to steal stuff, but you probably have to pay them in makeup/clothing
my supervillainsona is cat-quiet, but at all times. and they use this power to creep up behind people and spook them. then they run off laughing.
okay but @emythos our supervillainsonas have a whole arc where they have a surprisingly efficient team up going on and devastate town :P
MY TIME HAS COME. At last, I can truly become the supervillain that a casual description of my job would imply... I would be that evil scientist in a long coat and knee-high boots. Hair pulled back in a severe bun. Dark lipstick. Probably gloves. She is building a giant orbital laser to zap the Earth's forests and ice caps. Her name is probably Doctor Gauss or Doctor Diode... Doctor Something. Battling through her base will be the season 2 finale and it will end with a trip to space aboard some insanely dangerous improvised vehicle to blow up the satellite.
cartoony supervillain dragon me: black longcoat, sword, forces the hero to take detours, which coincidentally lead said hero to discover the power of friendship and various people and items necessary to defeat my boss. (because fuck being in charge.) fond of cats. ineffectual loner of few words, instead communicates via scoffs and overdone sarcastic remarks. shall be redeemed with my dying breath. (there is a super duper difficult to find and complete quest line that has no hint that its connected to me, but completing it will result in me pulling a heel-face turn!) (wait, not a game) cartoony supervillain me: evil overlady. addicted to hot chocolate. secret birth mother of the hero. only wants to make the world a better place, but all these idiots clearly dont know whats best for them. usually looks like a hippie who fell into a black dye pot, unless in armor Spoiler: what do you mean this is for kids? villain me (tw moon logic) the voice in the back of your head telling you you suck, and should stop.
*arrives late at the party with dunkin donuts* my supervillainsona would be that really hot guy who giggles worryingly while blowing things up. with a cute gf or something
I volunteer to be a henchman since I was 7 I've wanted to be a henchman give me a crowbar and point, and I will remove your obstacle, whether it be cars, buildings, or knees
i offer a personal henchperson post, payment is room and board, free healthcare, three weeks paid holiday, your average low officer's monthly pay, and a pension. benefits of the job include travelling, and experience in applied problem-solving