shitposting rave 3: Dawn of the third rave

Aaahaha... you wha7, now? I've no7 me7 you before 7onigh7, ma7e.

 

-the mi retreats to a safer bit of plating- Mi! You move inside!

 

*Ford shrugs.*

There are a lot of things I wouldn't have put in those books if I wrote them today.

Especially not if I'd known that the readers were going to be twelve.

I ran into a very inventively bowdlerised version in one dimension.

*shakes head*

Trust me, that is not what my most-regretted tattoo looked like.

 

Sure, we could provide the music. Seagull and the Mech.

 

What? You never told me!

 

Oh~. It's you~.
Enjoying trying to win another group over with your lies~?

 

I wasn't sure how you'd take the idea that you were bald and had seven eyes.

 

*Valiska giggles*

 

He returns to his previously set up corner with the armchair and the fireplace and the positively drenched carpet, still dripping water despite Ford's recommendation.
"I have not a clue what you are talking about, good sir, I was talking about the way I drowned in the Thames River."

 

*the seagull quivers, overcome by excitement* holy shit a "parties". holy fuck. okay. be cool Seagull. be cool. be cool. you're growing as a person

hey uh. do you mind if I. maybe screech for a second. I am trying to grow as a person. which means not screeching. but I'm very excited. and it's getting real hard to not screech

 

I could make your screech even louder if you wanted.

 

(holy shit holy shit holy shit. this is the best fucking day of my life) is it really okay. I have been informed. by numerous people. that screeching is unacceptable "parties" behaviour. and I would really hate to fuck up my chances. now that I have taken my first step. to becoming "a better person". instead of being "an asshole"

*the seagull is visibly restraining itself from screeching*

 

You can screech, it's fine!

 

Cricke7! I7's been ages, hasn'7 i7? How've you been, chum?

I ain'7 lyin', C-Ricke7, I don'7 know 7his alien, 'specially no7...

-Thames cuts off mid-sentence and honest to Demoness splutters.-

Sufferer's sacred nipple pan7s, wha7're you on abou7?! Of all the lewd --

-He looks around.-

I don'7 know him, gen7s, hones7, he's lyin', plain as moonligh7. Ha ha...

 

I've been fine, since you got everyone to hate me~.

 

"What!"
He seems amused and offended in equal measure.
"Why would you accuse me of lying! I am still dripping with the ample evidence! You fiend!"

 

@Mister Simon Schuyler
Congratulations then, newly bereft
Of life, of chances, and all that makes
The living rise, to challenge the stakes
The self-help books are to the left.

 

Nipple pants?

*Ford looks horrified*

 

Ah, so at least no surprise. Am I to understand that you are deceased? That is a circumstance that applies to me as well. I am an Eternal, a scientific revenant brought back by skilled scientists and advanced procedures..

 

He chuckles.
"Many thanks, my dear. I think I would prefer the company of my lady wife over the literature but I fear I have no choice in the matter."

He says, most innocently:
"I hear they are in fashion in Madrid. Of course no one cares about Madrid that knows about fashion."