things that are currently making you anxious

did a thing that was making me anxious, now it's time to be anxious about having potentially done it wrong

the panic party never ends

 

hahahahhahahahahahhaah
ended up going out for dinner with dad tonight
and after the first half where i kept up a steady flow of conversation about random stuff
he pounced and everything was anxious making and awful
and spanned ages and ages
(I got through by whistling hamilton on the way home (he doesnt know the music) and calming myself down all the while (new calming technique, whistle music they dont know, do BS notes along to talked lines))
the lump of anxiousness is still kinda in my chest now

 

Generally Anxious, no given external cause...

Why, why would I drink coffee when I took Adderall today?

 

I feel like I have something else to do before school.
But I don't?? But what if I've forgotten?
There are only two days, so if I have forgotten, I need to remember now

 

Oh thank god for this thread.
I'm anxious because during my last visit at the dentist we found out I have a decade old hole in my bone due to an infected root and it will be treated on 13th, so of course until then I won't be able to do any serious work, because of course I can't stop thinking that's maybe why I've been feeling like a zombie for several years now.

 

Hahahaha

I'm going to high school tomorrow
First day of high school
Urrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh

 

Someone left me a comment asking if I had abandoned a fic, and I feel really bad that I haven't been working on it

especially because I've been focusing on another thing that's more engaging, but if I have time to write and publish that, then don't I have time to finish the one people having been waiting on for two months

this is supposed to be for fun, why am I so panicky

 

guessssssss who accidentally got into a conversation on MSPARP that turned reaaaaal sexual and im pretty sure theyre overage but i cant back out now because ive already contributed way too much to the conversation and you can literally get banned from MSPARP for talking about sexual things if youre under 18 so if i tell them im a minor ill be fucking dead

im TRAAAAAAPPED

 

@furrylatula turn off your wifi so you auto disconnect?

 

Whoo anxiety over first day of school
And anxious about kids being assholes about me being an out nonbinary student
And anxious about everything today, basically
Ha
Eurgh

 

...so like, my school is undergoing major construction for no reason? and now all my normal routes to class are cut off and i don't know how long it takes me to walk from class to class
*scream*
so i'm getting all twitchy and leaving a literal half an hour early for walks that NORMALLY take like ten minutes

 

[make concrete plans to Do Thing that we've wanted to do all summer]
[immediately crushing fear because ????]
????????

 

Nothing! Nothing at all! Everything is objectively fine and yet I am sitting here with sharp pains in my chest having trouble breathing and afraid to leave the house! I'm late for work now! But I can't do it!

Damn. This hasn't happened for months. I thought I was okay.

 

i'm experiencing this currently.

needed to respond to an email. procrastinated. procrastinating made me anxious. finally wrote the email. great! except now i'm convinced that i misunderstood everything and that the person reading the email is going to think that i'm an idiot. aaaaaaaagh.

 

too sick to work, but the overdo work does not stop from piling up

 

Person I'm picking up is three whole minutes late :| shut up brain.

 

"My friend is playing with someone else," whines the small child

Spoiler

I feel like such a goddamn leech in one of my RP groups, all I contribute is a single character who barely interacts with the rest of the group, it's all reactionary, I don't add anything of value, and this isn't anything I'd tolerate from someone I played with so why should they tolerate it in me

And a player who was doing 1-on-1 side stories with me and a third player dropped the one with me within a month but is still going 100-odd pages later with the third player so obviously when I do have ideas they aren't good ideas

And if I bring either (or both) if these things up:

• Vague and nebulous Bad Things will happen, Only Good Emotions Allowed (abuse fleas)
• it will be manipulative and evilbadwrong and the playgroup will actually For Real hate me; the first is a problem with me that they can't fix and the second-- no one is actually obligated to play with me!! I do not get to get pissy and possessive over internet acquaintances!!! It's a good thing they're having fun even if I'm Not Invited!!!

At least my cat still likes me

eta: Aaaaand now that I've posted: "I was not Sufficiently Vague, mentioning the cat means the people involved will Know who I am"
????? I get "sufficiently vague" in relation to last spoilered point but. The cat?? The cat is what's suspicious here??? Really, brain?

 

I promise they don't hate you. I've been on the other side of this, where my RP partner was almost entirely reactionary and didn't contribute a lot to the plot, and it didn't bother me at all. It gave me a chance to really stretch my storytelling wings and try some new stuff and get instant feedback. That RP really shaped me as a storyteller, and I find myself using things I learned from it in my writing all the time. Don't worry about it. Hopefully you can be a main character eventually, but for right now no one will mind if you want to play the side character.

Oh, and before I forget. *hugs*

 

I am a terrible teacher and was late to class and I can't explain things well and totally fucked up explaining a problem and why even am I trying to become a professor when I'm so fucking terrible at it

AND I'VE LOST MY TEXTBOOK WHAT THE FUCK

i have no idea where it is

why the fuck this