Lord almighty, that's a dick.

It's only four inches long ...?

 

Maybe ham dynasty ladies prefer smaller insertables, yo. I ain't judging.

EDIT: I swear that typo wasn't deliberate but I'm not changing it XDDD

 

i can't stop looking at cake wrecks someone please save me

Spoiler: seriously why are all these cakes dongs WHO DOES THIS

that... that isn't even HIDDEN there is just a straight up dick drawn on this cake



ah yes what a lovel- oh thats some dongs


hahahahahAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA oh man what



i went for 2 pages without a dong cake clearly that was too much

i have a final today & all i'm gonna be able to do is laugh about cakes that look like dicks
help

 

I feel like that last one belongs on that list of "things to do with your penis cake pan that aren't penises."

 

It's actually a cupcake cake. Cake Wrecks has a personal vendetta against those since they're so often godawful. :::PPP

 

(from here)

 

Star Trek, pls

 

Hedges.

 

What was that first one supposed to be? Even if I could eat gluten (and I love gluten-free cake lots) I can't imagine anything less appetising than that cake. It's been done up in all the shades of brown and green that come out of the mammalian digestive tract, and the ones that don't just make it even more appalling. That's not food, that's a laboratory specimen.

 

Only my extensive Cake Wrecks reading experience lets me guess that it's probably supposed to be a cornucopia.

 

Turkey. I think the dong is supposed to be the leg?

 

Ah, yes, I can see that. I was guessing that the assorted multicolored random objects were vegetables. I guess still Thanksgiving cake, so I wasn't TOO far off. (As I mentioned upthread: absolutely any turkey cake on Cake Wrecks that's not in Sunday Sweets looks like a dick, poo, or both. It is law.)

 

So, there's a play called The Marriage of Figaro, which most people have heard of in passing (it's a sequel to the Barber of Seville.)
Now, this is a comedy play whose central conflict is the eponymous man and his wife trying to dodge their boss, an amorous nobleman vigorously waving the "droit du seigneur." At the end of the play, there is a scene where everybody sneaks into the sculpture garden to watch so-and-so cheating on such-and-such with you-know-who. The existence of the sculpture garden has been in the dialog since the very first scene, but we haven't seen it yet.
Now, I was seeing my college's production of this.

So, the lights have gone black, and then not-black. And some of the stagehands come out. Oh! Clearly, they're about to set up the sculpture garden.

Spoiler: Oh look they're bringing out a prop

haha, doesn't it look like...

Spoiler: More stagehands appear

oh.
oh no.
they're.... they're....




...TASTEFULLY DICK-SHAPED TOPIARY

 

theoretically it's a turkey
"theoretically"

it's... so classy
the mcmansion version of topiary dongs

 

At least on the east coast of the US, it is now the Year of the Rooster.

 

Hell yeah, my birth year! Bring on the cock cycle!!!

 

DO NOT FUCK THE MINERAL 2: PAINFUL DILDO BOOGALOO

 

ow.

 

I know it's not technically a dick, but...

 

That reminds me of a church sign I saw way back in high school that read, "Be still, be quiet, be open and willing." Something always struck me as off about that.