That's so SO: A Thread for Relationship Antics

whenever @Penumbra talks about eating me or vice versa, I have to make a vore joke

 

whenever @Birdy talks about eating me or vice versa, I have to make a cunnilingus joke

 

Boyfriend is here today, which is a blessing and a curse, because while he does make me absurdly happy his hobby is baiting me.

So we were talking and the topic came to the fact that I think love is a rather strong word, and that I'd say that I love him, my mom, my grandma, an my pets. So he starts baiting me - asking stuff like what is the difference between loving and liking, and I'm like. This is a deeply philosophical question. It's one in the morning. You're not going to bait me.
Until this exchange:
Him: "well I mean, there must be some biological difference between family love and romantic love, right?"
Me: "well, actually t's -- OH MY FUCKING GOD YOU SON OF A BITCH"

 

His little victory dance was both the most infuriating and the cutest thing I've ever seen, Christ on a cracker.

 

@Carnivorous Moogle is being very mean to me by calling me the swead baby. we all know i'm a sweaty baby. how could you remind us all

 

A SLIPPERY GENTLEM

 

My wife went to go to sleep in the next room. 5 minutes later I hear her call me.

"VEN. I CAN'T SLEEP. MY BOOBS ARE TOO BIG."

This woman is perfect. <3

 

[1:22:44 PM] rose quartz dramatically holding a football: i love ur icon it's such a good rose
[1:23:26 PM] rose quartz dramatically holding a football: mine is still Me IRL
[1:23:32 PM] Britt "it's not the side-effects of the cocaine" Freed: i made it panker using "Web Tools"
[1:23:38 PM] rose quartz dramatically holding a football: nice B)
[1:23:52 PM] rose quartz dramatically holding a football: also that legit read like a dril tweet idk why
[1:24:29 PM] Britt "it's not the side-effects of the cocaine" Freed: he has a habit of "Putting Things In Quotation" and also random Capitalizes, of some such words
[1:24:33 PM] rose quartz dramatically holding a football: tru
[1:24:45 PM] rose quartz dramatically holding a football: do not say to me, the word "WaWa"
[1:25:03 PM] Britt "it's not the side-effects of the cocaine" Freed: ..... WA WA
[1:25:07 PM] rose quartz dramatically holding a football: FUCK!!!!!!!!
[1:25:22 PM] Britt "it's not the side-effects of the cocaine" Freed: what the FUCK did i JUST say
[1:25:46 PM] rose quartz dramatically holding a football: YOU SAID THE WORD W*WA
[1:25:57 PM] Britt "it's not the side-effects of the cocaine" Freed: w**a
[1:26:12 PM] rose quartz dramatically holding a football: tw: wawa
[1:26:16 PM] Britt "it's not the side-effects of the cocaine" Freed: w**d
[1:26:51 PM] rose quartz dramatically holding a football: wawa: filled with Trolls,
weed: filled with dank (a Good, and righteous thing)

tl;dr DATE A GIRL YOU CAN TALK TO ABOUT DRIL

 

send this to ur crush with no context

 

the bf got me my valentines day present
it's a stuffed inkay
i have named it squishie

 

My Human Marriage Can't Be This Black, chapter $lots

Spoiler: Mature adults talking about mature topics

Husband's tablet has given up the ghost and so he can no longer read stupid fanfics in bed till 4 AM.
Me: Well, on the plus side, this means you'll be getting more sleep.
Husband: *discontent grumble*
Me: Anyway, I'm gonna play some puzzle games (on my tablet) for a couple hours now.
Husband: ... I will fight you.
Me: With your penis? :D
Husband: ... *possibly*!

 

Me: There's a goddamn Teddiursa at the Sprint store.
D: ...do I need to turn around.

 

"i'm the muppetface heartmeister"

 

Someday I'm just going to spend an hour writing down all the amazing shit my wife says while Minecrafting. She's a compulsive narrator. <3

 

@Carnivorous Moogle just gave me a very tiny rubber hand with which to pet my dog

it's beautiful

 

HE LOST HIS GODDAMN TINY MIND IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL AND I'M SO GLAD I FORGOT IT WAS IN MY PURSE FOR MONTHS

 

@Anomal(eee) [Kai] was remarking this afternoon how she's been enjoying the time we've spent getting her more happy with our current lipstick collection. "We're becoming lipstick lesbians," she joked.

"And we're starting to collect flannel shirts, so we're just going to confuse the heck out of everyone," I add. "Genderqueer: special lesbian edition."

Kai then imitated pulling off a helmet. "Okay, except I AM NO LESBIAN!" bc she is after all bisexual.

 

my girlfriend is so adorable and sweet omg