(Right but what if I am SO bad and terrible that she HAS to hate me /anxiety) I...I don't think he's doing it as a show of force? Like he usually cleans it up? I don't know
Unrelatedly Spoiler: Bitchy and petty Spoiler: Bitchy Spoiler: And Spoiler: Petty tfw there is someone that everyone else likes SO much that they start to annoy you on principle ://///
Spoiler: Tmi Me: Why can't I get off???? Me: Oh right I just restarted anti depressents Gdi i can't sleep w/o my nightly wank :(
Me @ myself: Literally why do you vent so much when u know nobody cares Myself: i mean its nice to have some record that i exist
Like.... on a logical level i know i exist as much as any other person does? But i can't shake the feeling that i just....don't lol
Is that dissassociation? I know that that comes from trauma and like nothing traumatic has ever really happened to me so shrug emoji That and like. The feeling that theres a sheet of glass between the layers of my skin, and another between my skull and my brain. Like sometimes i'll br crying or freaking out or just walking down yhe street and ill be like. Doing things, outwardly showing emotion, the works, but internally itll be like "ok im crying now? I guess. ok" like.....idk
Hey smart and talented people? Whats it like all the way up there? Would one of you mind fuckibg killing me?
Like holy shit what is it like to not just be a complete fucking failure in every way? What is it like to have a singlething tou can do halfway competantly? What is it like to deserve to exist lol
Me, living in a beautiful realm of willful ignorance: I'm sure that if I was posting on my main people would comment more :):):):) it's just brcause I'm on a sub :):):):):):) on my main people know and like me im sure theyd be lining up to say nice things :):):):):):):):):)
Evidence: -continue to whine and demand sympathy from people who have it much harder than me - never comfort anyone myself because i am a nauseating usless fuck -dont do anything except fucking whine -fake cry to get sympathy
I kinda wanna punch every person that ever said "if you just practice art a lot and keep at it you'll get better!!!!!' in the face
That's a pretty minimal set of things to qualify for monsterhood and I'm not sure you're there. Couldn't you like steal candy from children or something? ;) Are you sure you've made no progress in your art? Just asking because I've known many artists who thought that but their newer work was mch better.
I have stolen candy from a 7 year old does that count and I have gotten better technically (although ive been devolving again lol) but like. ive been drawing steadily almost every day since 6th grade. I've taken art classes. I look at photo reference and I draw pages full of hands and I look up tutorials online and have practiced human anatomy and tried to use lines of motion and color theory and fucking im still drawing at a middle school level. its basically all i do and i suck and im worthless
Its just... easier to never speak and pretend that people would like you if you did than actually try to communicate and realize that no, you just have an obnoxious personality and nobody likes you bc of that