WTF Brain Autocorrect? - the majestic sea pancake and other substitutions

I was visiting Bristol with my S/O and asked if we could go to the fish museum.

"Fish museum?"
"........."
"Do you mean aquarium?"

 

one time i couldnt remember the word actor so i said "you know, the male actress"

 

My mom once called the wired phone we used to have in the house the "swirly phone" because it had a cord that was in a spiral

 

My mother almost always mixes up my and my brothers' names. This isn't unusual in larger families but, uh, there are 3 of us. I think the record is calling someone's name seven times, including the name of my father and her uncle, before getting it right.
(It's actually one of the reasons she doesn't want me to get a name change because "it's already confusing enough".)

 

My twin and I, being twins, are fairly used to our parents calling us by the other's name.

My mom calling me "Patches" the dog's name was a new one.

 

Half my relatives on my dad's side of the family have accidentally called me by my aunt's name at least once.

 

whenever i start being snarky and pedantic my dad almost always calls me by my mom's name by accident #whoops

 

Once my grandma called me Nicolas... which was her dog's name.

 

We got out current dogs as puppies about a year and a half/ two years after prior dog died.

They're both at least five now and we all still slip up and call them Zeus pretty regular.


We also had a ginger spaniel Finbar and we would babysit his also ginger brother Hamish "Hambone" and they were both regularly called Finbone and Hambar.

 

my mother gets "bird", "cat" and "dog" mixed up, as well as the names of the dog and bird.
She has also called me the bird's name, followed immedately by the dog's name, followed by my name, and once called her brother's girlfriend by the name of his dog.

 

I accidentally referred to a cat (belonging to the host/ co-DM of our dnd sessions) by the name of the other co-DM's wife, who he'd explained may have to drop out of the game so i guess her name was on my mind.

("congratulations, your wife is a cat")

 

"Sugarwool"

(me and mum were talking about the floofy pink spring blossom that's out atm and I forgot the word for candyfloss/cotton candy ^^;;;)

 

Just now I called a coffin a corpse box.

 

It's occasionally called a "dead person crate" in Sicilian and Corsican, too.

 

Moony trying to remember the phrase "tramp stamp" produced this gem: "slut mark".

 

That's probably a soulmate AU fanfic concept.

 

I feel this collection of brain autocorrects and substitutions might be relevant to this thread's interests! C:

 

I just asked people what warm it was on monday, because I forgot about temperature.

 

I just completely forgot what chips were called while trying to ask my dad where the chips were. My brain substituted "cheese snacks," because the chips in question are nacho cheese Doritos and Cheetos. (Do Cheetos count as a chip?) My dad managed to pick up on what I meant instantly, but when my mom overheard she got very confused as to what I meant...fortunately my dad acted as a translator.

EDIT: It's also worth noting that I forgot every brand name.

 

People who've never met me call my sister by my name. Apparently I'm memorable.