Terrible original/published fiction?

Yeah, I knew the 'three years to get from LEO to the moon' was super weird (how do you even do that?!), and was also thinking that shattering the moon wouldn't make it fall, so much as turn it into a ring system.

 

Well, shattering the moon would presumably cause some fragments to fall down to the Earth and cause pretty similar effects to what's described, but then yeah, you'd end up with rings, and eventually a new moon. Though maybe not on the time scale of the book?

 

... So, the whole text basically reads like a thesaurus achieved near-sapience, but this is the first sentence and... I have no idea what "parallax" is supposed to mean here.

 

?

 

(More seriously, apparently besides the astronomical use that I was vaguely familiar with and the giant yellow space bug from Green Lantern, it more generally means "something looking like it's in a different place because it's being observed from a different angle." So I guess using it there is an incredibly pretentious way of saying "subject to differences in interpretation"?)

 

I’m thinking of parallax in video games where it’s pretty much parallel but separately moving planes at different depths.

 

Now I'm thinking of Dragons: Lexicon Triumvirate.

 

* Meenah disgust face *

 

That's barely a step up from the Eye of Argon.

 

Try Barbara Walker's Amazon:

Spoiler: nsfw

Can we at least have a standard of using the correct unnecessarily Urple word? "Omphalos" means navel.

 

Spoiler: Kinda NSFW

Hey, don't kinkshame her belly button fetish!

 

This is kinda making me wanna do a meta fanfic where someone (the Amporae spring to mind) writes a fanfic/friendfic, to use a quote from an Eye of Argon review, "with a new thesaurus and no dictionary".

 

Well, technically, an omphalos is also a stone object symbolizing the center, or "navel", of the world.

 

Still, not much of a simile for a clit.

 

... Wow, I had somehow completely failed to parse that. My brain kinda fails hard when given too urple input.

 

I can see why, I think that was the most pretentious way she possibly could have said it.

 

I thought it was a weird simile for "urn" until she started going on about goddess pillars. Not that calling her character's genitals an urn would make much more sense or be any less pretentious.

 

1) I feel like this conversation should probably go under NSFW cuts at some point, and
2)

Spoiler: Being the change I wish to see in the world

Technically there's nothing in that quote that indicates it's not a sacred dildo she carries around just in case she needs it. :::PPP

 

Context indicated it wasn't supposed to be, but yep, that's a point. How NSFW is something if nobody can tell what the hell is going on in it?

 

oooh baby jam it in my amphora

(that autocorrected to 'armpits', jsyk)