can y'all get around to modding my posts through quicker please

can you prove that or are you just memspouting

 

also knock it the fuck off with the weird sex-shaming bullcrap. no one asked for your misinformed opinions on why you think certain sexual practices are oh so horrible. the only one bringing up these things you keep accusing people of is you

 

... OK, I actually think all this talk about other people’s kinks is getting pretty invasive, and treating other people’s reactions to your words as evidence of their sexual proclivities is actually pretty gross.

 

can you tell me "what's logically going on"? I'm genuinely not sure what you're perceiving here

it'd honestly disturb me to have you acting "sweet and likable." I don't want you to be polite, agreeable, when that's not what you're feeling. I definitely don't want you to go into the fawn response, which I think might be what you're gesturing at when you say "submission." I want you to be respectful of people's boundaries. which -- you can be a fucking asshole and still be respectful of people's boundaries. you can even respect boundaries some times and not others. kindness always allows for partial credit, and you can't fail out.

it seems like you're afraid that if you try respecting a boundary, people won't care? because their opinion of you is already fixed, and new evidence won't change that, because the logic is just excuses? but here, of all places... I think people will care. harm reduction is valued highly here. kintsugi is literally named for the art of kintsugi, which is frequently read as an metaphor for redemption arcs. you aren't out of chances. you can change your behavior. people will notice. people have noticed your behavior, and have reacted to it. people are still noticing your behavior right now.

jacktrash outright told you that if you made fewer posts and made them longer, he'd notice that. you haven't been written off.

 

I have literally not mentioned your opinions of kink because they're irrelevant to this conversation. If you don't feel safe venting about your trauma here I'd recommend you don't, then! There's plenty of other ways and places to vent. I was attempting to respond to this with my statement:

If bringing up subjects of rape frequently is a consequence of your trauma, like, that's really difficult and I can understand if it's not easy to control, but that doesn't change that what spock has mentioned you doing, specifically I'm currently referring to this list;

Those are serious accusations that no one is taking as something you want, they are taking it as you bringing a traumatic word and scenario into an inappropriate venue, and since many of the people here are similarly traumatized, it is taxing and unpleasant, and it is impossible for this repeated interaction to not color their impression of you. When expressing your displeasure you do not have to go to the most unpleasant thing you can think of, and if you don't think of ways other than referring to rape to express yourself you are going to be considered unpleasant if not impossible to be around.

 

Hey uh, you might find it easier if you didn’t ascribe motivation to people whom are not yourself.

 

I replied to you with memes because you replied to an earnest attempt to explain the actual way connotation works (a topic that is literally within my field of expertise, by the way) with "lol me and my friends would laugh at you"

Also, nice dodge. The fact remains that literally no one here has done the things you're accusing them of, while you spout off weird and gross non-sequitors about everyone's sexual preferences. If you want good faith, friendly responses, maybe don't imply that anyone hurt by your intnetionally insulting statements are weird degenerates.

 

Okay gonna keep this short and simple because TG can't reply until tomorrow but

This is patently false, it is a false reality formed by the combination of your trauma+ I suspect psychosis induced paranoia. This is the classic tin hat "they're all out to get me" conspiracy starting point. I can assure you most poeple here are ambivilant, several people are now extremely annoyed, and some of them are out right pissed, but no one wants anything bad to happen to you.

Treating everyone preemptively as a new abuser and going on the attack right away as a form of defense to a threat that isn't actually there is a HUGE contributing factor to these communication barriers. If you can't accept we're approaching in good faith and continue to be interchangeably aggressive or dismissive and assert motivations that don't exist, then nothing is going to improve. Full stop.

I. Don't really have a solution outside of, "bring this up with a psychiatrist as a concern and work with them to see if antipsychotics help the paranoia," which I know comes with all sorts of its own pitfalls, unfortunately.

 

yeah i'm not even gonna touch this or argue as to why it's good or bad, i'm just going to avoid mentioning sex/genitals/sexual abuse/consent with people who aren't my therapist

chiomi is on ignore

 

or in theory on ignore. request that there be no further interaction

 

idk, I'd rather townghost felt free to discuss consent. sex, genitals, and sexual abuse, yes, can be cordoned off to therapy while he works out how to safely discuss them with non-professionals, but consent is different -- it's a really fundamental non-sexual communication and relationship skill, and everyone who has relationships or does communication should get to discuss it if they want to.

which doesn't mean I'm asking him to talk about consent -- that's up to him -- I just won't actively cosign a decision to take it off the table on behalf of the kintsugi community

 

food for thought

 

I am sure you genuinely feel gaslit, and if you have specific examples of things you wish to bring up where you feel the mods have unfairly misrepresented your words, i would appreciate it, but I personally think passive aggression is unlikely to actually help you successfully communicate about this.