fluff the swablu has joined WESTLEY HAS DIED glowbutt the volbeat has joined EGG chad the machop has joined flannery defeated, heat badge obtained norman defeated, balance badge obtained squawk the wingull has joined lei the latias joins static the electrike has joined ambrosia the gloom has joined BATTERY HAS DIED scythe, its murderer, the absol has joined sticky the kecleon has joined feather badge obtained
gob the golbat has joined BLUBBER HAS DIED AMBROSIA HAS DIED gem the tentacruel has joined rainy the kyogre has joined
to do: by wednesday: math page by thursday: history journals by saturday: history discussion board by saturday night: 30 math, 1+2 bio + quizzes and discussion boards, ch 10 psych and notes and quizzes by the end of next week i think: psych exam 2
lipstick the alolamola joined. SUSHI HAS DIED, MY BIG TANK, NO. larry the lairon has joined. NAUSEA HAS DIED. MAKIT HAS DIED. MY OTHER TANK. SHIT.
had a. very very rough day with math. like. anxiety attacks and self harm level panic over math class. i finally broke down and emailed the teacher. Spoiler: letter i sent my professor Professor, This is probably not the first time you've heard this from a student, but I need to be transparent and let you understand my situation a bit clearer. I've got a lot of past trauma around learning math, linked to a lot of public humiliation and a lot of low self esteem. I tried prepping myself for the semester with prep books and got pretty far before getting stuck and having class start.. but now I'm at the part I got stuck in the books all over again, with the added problem of it being topics I never learned before or had the chance to learn before in school because I kept flunking the part right before and/or during this due to the same lack of comprehension. After spring break and the extended break, I was ready to jump back in and try hammering things out again like I was able to before, but here I am several hours in, with assistance of a friend explaining things I don't understand, still at a point of crisis and anxiety attacks because I can't understand a word that's being said to me. I'm not sure what to do, given the 30 units are due tomorrow and it's too late to ask for further help. My friend and I are going to help me struggle through this tonight, but I needed to tell you: I need help, I don't know what to do or what I'm doing, and it's very, very scary for me to be at this point. I'm safe, I'm not at a point of self harm because I've been doing the things my therapist have told me to keep as calm as I can so please don't worry, but it's terrifying me in ways that very few other things in my life are able to. I need to ask your recommendations for moving forwards, because I don't think I can keep relying on my friend helping me to re-learn everything I forgot over break when I'm just not functionally able to retain information like this for that long if at all. After 2 hours on the same section getting one correct and then two wrong then one correct again over and over and over, it's enough to really break a person down. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated, thank you. "Hi Ryn I’ve only been able to skim your email but I want to respond quickly Learn what you can honestly and let’s set up a zoom or collaborate meeting in the next day or two. I promise I will do all I can to help you with your math anxiety. That is very real for so many of my students. I will help you. Beth" ..... i think i'm gonna be ok.
I MANAGED!!! TO HIT!! THE 30 MARK!! IN TIME!!! WITHOUT THE TEACHER!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HOLY SHIT on one hand "how" on the other hand "WHO FUCKING CARES HOW I MANAGED THE SHIT"
the big question tho will be if i can manage an 80% on the big final test after i finish learning all this other shit :')
to do: History: By Tuesday- chapter 10 and quiz By Thursday- 2 journals By Saturday- Discussion Board Bio Anthro: By Saturday- chapter 3 reading, quiz, discussion board and reply to another student Math: By Wednesday- assignment sheet By Saturday night/Sunday afternoon at latest- 30 8 1 unit Psych: By Saturday night- Chapter 11 and quizzes
time today is really really weird. it feels so much later than it actually is, and it's throwing me off terribly. that said, i've managed to get a lot of math done this week thankfully, with relatively few setbacks, and i've tried to write and draw. trying to get back into the saddle is... hard. very hard. like. holy shit its hard. but i'm trying.
idk what's up but lately I've been a fic writing MACHINE, updates left and fucking right on almost everything, a new series started, and polyswap and drone season on the horizon? im fucking chuffed. this comes after not updating half my shit in MONTHS.... what changed? i have no idea what changed, but goddamn am i not gonna question it. im juggling all my shit just fine right now and it feels GREAT.
today i went grocery shopping bought stamps did a history discussion board did a bit of math did a bio anthro discussion board and two replies did a bio anthro inquizzatives set after reading the chapter did a bio anthro EXAM which i got a B on, surprise surprise did psych reading/skimming and the exercises involved with that i still need to do more math a writeup on the stanford prison experiment for another discussion board, for psych some kind of drawing, i have the itch plot out more fic stuff for updates try to get laundry done and or tidy up a bit while i can
Managed to write thing out of my usual comfort zone today, so I'm satisfied. Tomorrow I've got PT for the shoulder, and more writing. I've got to really book it on my math. I'm on track to finish it all in time, but only if I don't get caught up and tangled. The sooner i finish, the sooner im done for good with it. it's getting down to the end and im Anxiety.
13 units+ of math history journals history discussion board bio anthro chapter 9 quiz bio anthro chapter 10 quiz bio anthro chapter 9 discussion board bio anthro chapter 10 discussion board psych chapter 14 and assorted quizzes psych discussion board + two replies
if i have to retake this math course because of the specifications put forth by it being a B requirement on the final test and these STUPID FUCKING KNOWLEDGE CHECKS, i am going to have an aneurysm. i hate this class and everything to do with it and every knowledge check i mess up on in some way and get sent backwards by is just another one i want to grab by the face and throw against a wall. 8l
tfw you wanna date someone because you’re sad being single but you’ve got trauma so your dating pool is smaller and you’re queer so your dating pool is smaller and you’re into some wild shit so your dating pool is smaller and you think you might be poly so your dating pool is smaller and you can only really get feelings for people you get to know first, so your dating pool gets even smaller and then you wonder why you have nobody to woo with cookies and stupid memes and remember and go “oh, right.”