Discussion in 'Your Bijou Blogette' started by TheMockingCrows, Dec 16, 2018.
numa the numel has joined.... and i stop at the rest house for the evening. having a fun time!
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flannery defeated, heat badge obtained
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feather badge obtained
ilu ryn this is ideal
i swiped it from jaiden bc it was too perfect
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by wednesday: math page
by thursday: history journals
by saturday: history discussion board
by saturday night: 30 math, 1+2 bio + quizzes and discussion boards, ch 10 psych and notes and quizzes
by the end of next week i think: psych exam 2
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SUSHI HAS DIED, MY BIG TANK, NO.
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MAKIT HAS DIED. MY OTHER TANK. SHIT.
had a. very very rough day with math. like. anxiety attacks and self harm level panic over math class. i finally broke down and emailed the teacher.
Spoiler: letter i sent my professor
This is probably not the first time you've heard this from a student, but I need to be transparent and let you understand my situation a bit clearer. I've got a lot of past trauma around learning math, linked to a lot of public humiliation and a lot of low self esteem. I tried prepping myself for the semester with prep books and got pretty far before getting stuck and having class start.. but now I'm at the part I got stuck in the books all over again, with the added problem of it being topics I never learned before or had the chance to learn before in school because I kept flunking the part right before and/or during this due to the same lack of comprehension.
After spring break and the extended break, I was ready to jump back in and try hammering things out again like I was able to before, but here I am several hours in, with assistance of a friend explaining things I don't understand, still at a point of crisis and anxiety attacks because I can't understand a word that's being said to me. I'm not sure what to do, given the 30 units are due tomorrow and it's too late to ask for further help. My friend and I are going to help me struggle through this tonight, but I needed to tell you: I need help, I don't know what to do or what I'm doing, and it's very, very scary for me to be at this point. I'm safe, I'm not at a point of self harm because I've been doing the things my therapist have told me to keep as calm as I can so please don't worry, but it's terrifying me in ways that very few other things in my life are able to.
I need to ask your recommendations for moving forwards, because I don't think I can keep relying on my friend helping me to re-learn everything I forgot over break when I'm just not functionally able to retain information like this for that long if at all. After 2 hours on the same section getting one correct and then two wrong then one correct again over and over and over, it's enough to really break a person down.
Any feedback would be greatly appreciated, thank you.
"Hi Ryn I’ve only been able to skim your email but I want to respond quickly Learn what you can honestly and let’s set up a zoom or collaborate meeting in the next day or two. I promise I will do all I can to help you with your math anxiety. That is very real for so many of my students. I will help you. Beth"
..... i think i'm gonna be ok.
I MANAGED!!! TO HIT!! THE 30 MARK!! IN TIME!!! WITHOUT THE TEACHER!!!!
on one hand "how" on the other hand "WHO FUCKING CARES HOW I MANAGED THE SHIT"
the big question tho will be if i can manage an 80% on the big final test after i finish learning all this other shit :')
By Tuesday- chapter 10 and quiz
By Thursday- 2 journals
By Saturday- Discussion Board
By Saturday- chapter 3 reading, quiz, discussion board and reply to another student
By Wednesday- assignment sheet
By Saturday night/Sunday afternoon at latest- 30 8 1 unit
By Saturday night- Chapter 11 and quizzes
time today is really really weird. it feels so much later than it actually is, and it's throwing me off terribly. that said, i've managed to get a lot of math done this week thankfully, with relatively few setbacks, and i've tried to write and draw. trying to get back into the saddle is... hard. very hard. like. holy shit its hard. but i'm trying.
idk what's up but lately I've been a fic writing MACHINE, updates left and fucking right on almost everything, a new series started, and polyswap and drone season on the horizon? im fucking chuffed. this comes after not updating half my shit in MONTHS.... what changed? i have no idea what changed, but goddamn am i not gonna question it. im juggling all my shit just fine right now and it feels GREAT.
went grocery shopping
did a history discussion board
did a bit of math
did a bio anthro discussion board and two replies
did a bio anthro inquizzatives set after reading the chapter
did a bio anthro EXAM which i got a B on, surprise surprise
did psych reading/skimming and the exercises involved with that
i still need to do
a writeup on the stanford prison experiment for another discussion board, for psych
some kind of drawing, i have the itch
plot out more fic stuff for updates
try to get laundry done and or tidy up a bit while i can
Managed to write thing out of my usual comfort zone today, so I'm satisfied.
Tomorrow I've got PT for the shoulder, and more writing. I've got to really book it on my math. I'm on track to finish it all in time, but only if I don't get caught up and tangled. The sooner i finish, the sooner im done for good with it. it's getting down to the end and im Anxiety.
13 units+ of math
history discussion board
bio anthro chapter 9 quiz
bio anthro chapter 10 quiz
bio anthro chapter 9 discussion board
bio anthro chapter 10 discussion board
psych chapter 14 and assorted quizzes
psych discussion board + two replies
if i have to retake this math course because of the specifications put forth by it being a B requirement on the final test and these STUPID FUCKING KNOWLEDGE CHECKS, i am going to have an aneurysm. i hate this class and everything to do with it and every knowledge check i mess up on in some way and get sent backwards by is just another one i want to grab by the face and throw against a wall. 8l
tfw you wanna date someone because you’re sad being single
but you’ve got trauma so your dating pool is smaller
and you’re queer so your dating pool is smaller
and you’re into some wild shit so your dating pool is smaller
and you think you might be poly so your dating pool is smaller
and you can only really get feelings for people you get to know first, so your dating pool gets even smaller
and then you wonder why you have nobody to woo with cookies and stupid memes and remember and go “oh, right.”
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