Crow Puns And Other Bullshit

i have the worst luck with food delivery, man.
i ordered a big bowl of veggies + steak from Bibibop, i was very excited for this
i get note my food was delivered aaaaaaand
.....
not my food.
not the right restaurant even
edible, i ate it, but like
weak ass buttery noodles with some dry but well seasoned chicken chunks is not my big bowl of veggies and steak >:/
at least there was a gigantic fucking chonk of rice krispy treat to go alongside with it ://////
i got my money back at least
i'll try ordering what i want tomorrow when its daylight so i have a better chance of getting it i guess

 

went to clinic to talk about my med adjustment
we raising the new meds a lil bit bc i responded but not as much as i could
and i realized last night, and remembered to tell him when we were talking...
i can't remember the last time i had Constant Background Noise Suicide Thoughts. :)
it mustve been a few weeks now at least. they still crop up when im very upset but like
the Constant Background Noise of suicidal ideation is quiet
i cant remember the last time i havent had that background noise

 

YAAAAAAAA

 

therapy was earlier. went well enough, we just touched base again. i slept rough last night bc of a medication mistake (I forgor for several hours lol) and was kind of braindead during it as usual. couldn't think of much to bring up. i need to start taking notes on a notepad again to discuss each week or i'll keep forgetting everything.

ordered food again. didn't really NEED to but Wanted to and I'm in the safe range financially to do so. Chinese is on the menu today :9 Mmm, dumplings.

still need to do ALL of my fucking schoolwork for this week but jesus i can't seem to get my brain going at all. hopefully some wonton soup and dumplings will get my brain started.

also period stopped yesterday but I'm seeing traces of blood when I wipe again today already so I'm not holding my breath :/ I hope it holds off at least till after my pool therapy tomorrow, bc I can't put a tampon in comfortably unless there's a certain amount of blood happening and I dont wanna stain my new towel or my suit with the traces 8l

 

pt went well. lady noticed i looked like death warmed over and added it to my chart, seemed concerned. did a lot in the pool, including neck stretches and stuff. hips are mad. might take a nap. but i feel good, got a lot done. confirmed i am still indeed weaker on my right leg for some fucking reason, it was harder to control doing the circle motions to the side than the left which matches my intake findings so there's that i guess.

i need to do. All of my homework. but first.... a nap...

 

ohhhhh my god, lovely as hell nap. unwound for a lil bit then passed out dead to the world, woke up limp and covered in my own drool and a cat

 

i noticed this earlier but didn't want to jinx it. ...i think my brain's a lil quieter? like... I feel strange but not in an alarming or bad way, just.... less tensed up than usual? it feels abnormal for me, I'm used to a certain baseline of anxiety and tension, and it's just. Not in me right this second. not sure if bc today's just an alright day and the pt was nice, or the new med dose or what.

also blood still hasn't started up yet so I'm being cautiously optimistic.