If an advertisement brought you here, it’s not your fault. We all lose our way. The exits have been sealed. Welcome.
A home insurance policy refusing coverage for “acts of spider god”.
Sure, a startling number of powerful entities followed us here, intentions unknown, but it’s created some fantastic marketing opportunities.
You adjust your grip on your weapon, stacks of bones toppling over. Peering into the lightless crypt, you call out. “Who up?”
You wake up from a neon-hazed dream to a world replaced with a kitschy, expressionist landscape. The 80's never died; this is your hell now.
Yeah, I don’t argue it. I just say what I’m going to say once and then let it be. Besides, it’s least trying to say they’re wrong and more...
It makes me want to tear my hair out when people say “I’m just saying that humans are the scourge of the Earth, and we’re doomed”, and completely...
AAAHHHHH GETTING AN XBOX ONE FINALY!!!! Took a chance on an 11 day old ad on craigslist, got a response immediately saying it’s still available,...
You're not certain why the floor of your room was replaced with dirt. Or why you started digging. Or why it hasn't occurred to you to stop.
“At the risk of sounding crass, I would cause widespread property damage for that booty.”
You’re afraid to let your arm dangle over the side of the bed because something might grasp it and suddenly you’re in a relationship.
> Me: Yeah, [x series] is pretty great, and I’m glad it makes you really happy! > Person: What’s wrong with it? > Me: [insert balanced criticism...
Thank you! And I’m glad. I really appreciate the kind words.
You recall a game you used to play where you'd pick up payphone receivers and talk to the voices on the line. They always knew your name.
For every shout of freebird at a concert, the solo is extended another 10 minutes. The doors have been sealed, enjoy the show.
Less annoying and more on the border of really pissing me off— Getting blamed for the entire argument between Person A and Person B, like I’m...
New Google Glass prototype has “nightmare vision”, yet everything looks exactly the same.
There were people outside last time we looked out of the train window, but the intercom tells us they’ve “gone to a brighter place”.
Maybe I'm late to the game, but Tumblr's extremely annoying login with a link thing. Ugh, no I don't want to do that, I just want to use my...
It’s a bird! It’s a plane! Not sure what it is actually. Really hard to see anything from this mesa. How did I get up here?
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