A New Redwall, with civil war and hookers!

ARRY IS ADORABLE <3

 

post! Seth is embarassed at his former display of pale PDA XD

 

I really couldn't resist the Hippopotamus Oath line.

 

I want to see if I can get in a mention of a friend's character who's met Arry and Kally. He's a one-eyed, one-armed, one-legged domestic abuse and friend-rape survivor who's an asexual pirate, and his name is Lucky.

 

post! Suspicious Seth is suspicious, but it's not a race thing now he's fully awake and aware - it's just a matter where he's paranoid that anybeast anywhere could try to kill him to shut him up about Lord Bloodstripe.

 

@ChelG Proposal! Star's a world traveller too, what if two simultaneous, wildly incorrect (but in different ways) descriptions of hippos?

 

@ChelG ? Are you gonna post or should I? -has a confused-

 

Sorry, I've been really tied up for a couple of days - been trying to get prepped for my first craft fair and I'm on a strict deadline. Post away!

 

lol I know that feel, I'm competing this year in my local country fair's craft section ^^;;; It's nervewracking <3

 

Post!

 

Reply! For reference, I'd wager a vermin sailing vessel would be on the size of a human speedboat. 15-20ft?

 

Yeah, I think that would work! Maybe a little bigger, enough to fit the odd cat and fox, but roughly, yeah XD

 

Post!

tiny smile MASSIVE ANGST

 

Salt and stars, Seth, can you be more ridiculously blatant palebait?!

Poor Star is drowning in diamonds, it's adorable

 

He is the tiny scrappy lowblood in the pale porn film, it is him

 

Oooh I think they'd be a niche market too, with the big bruiser seadweller being the conciliatory one.
Eat your bloodpusher out, Karkat.

 

Post!

(Now I'm picturing a big broad-shouldered blue-side-of-violent with short rounded horns talking with a little scrappy olive-blood with a broken rack stop me now )

 

Why would I stop you?!

 

Okay, so - the Alternian version of this is a slightly subversive pale porn flick entitled In Which A Midblood Ruffianhilator Attempts To Enact Revenge On His Superiors For The Death Of His Clade Only To Be Justly Mollified By A Highblood Gambligant etc (Contains explicit pale scenes right from the start, one attempted assassination of highbloods, instances of comedic violence and several battle scenes.)

It doesn't get great reviews because the actor playing Siethe is obviously just short-horned and wearing really bad prosthetics, because highbloods are supposed to be shooshpapped, not the shooshpapper, and because a midblood trying to kill an indigo and surviving is a little on the nose for the Empire XD (Badgers as a race are obviously indigo, because bloodwrath and sheer size XD)

 

Have I mentioned that my favorite thing is Troll YouTube Commentary on cinema?

Also I have no doubt this is one of those movies that flops horribly in theaters because the above mentioned, but good gog, the cult following.

It tends to be in a Frequently Watched Troll Netflix category.