A New Redwall, with civil war and hookers!

Also: It's probably adapted/watered down history like Sunslammer Down, like, three hours of buildup to Siethe (Ha, autocorrected to "seethe" that's fitting) and Sothstar Sthstr having their triumphant comeback and leading their army to kill Bldstryp and the whole army gets nuked from orbit FOR THE GOOD OF THE EMPIRE *propagrandization music plays* because of course a midblood could never pull this off, don't be silly, Citizen.

There's a lot of subversive fanfic AUs.

 

Pffthaha, yeah, exactly. (Also isn't SothStar eight letters? Maybe it's her title, not her hatchname XD) It would be one of the smaller rebellions, because midbloods on a revenge kick aren't as historically terrible for the Condence as lowbloods looking to turn the whole thing over XD

 

Whoop. Hrm. Could drop vowels entirely. Sthstr. Maximum ridiculousity.

Also, EXPOSITION TIME because of course someone has to ask "what the fishfart is a a red wall"

 

Lowblood mediculler Artusa and her moirail Kaliko sound like fun characters.

 

BTW when Star gets to know them better, Arry is absolutely going to be invited on as ship's medic, I haven't forgotten about them :D

 

POST

Redwall: The cynic's version. XDD (I hope that sounded accurate enough, as well. Seth was only there for a very short time.)

 

Okay so this is absolutely Seth IRL

 

Post! Suspicious squirrel is suspicious.

 

I get the feeling that Star's pappin' paw will get very tired in this adventure.

Of course she's probably too laid-back sometimes, so it'll even out.

 

Seth has literally no chill. Star has alllll the chill.

BALANCES OUT <>

 

I am loving the thought of tiny ancient battleaxe granny squirrel

 

Pfft, Seth comes from a long line of squirrels with zero chill. Granny Charpelt was the matriach of the whole settlement and earned the land there by driving out every treedweller whether flitcheye, squirrel, rat or bird along with her mate, her sisters and their mates and their parents. They came from far across the sea, same as Star.

Seth was just a silversmith and a jeweller, but even he knew how to shoot and fight, if it came to it. Granny made sure all her kids knew how to defend themselves and their home XD

 

So how do we want to go about getting this army?

-hit the coast again south of the mountain and recruit corsairs?
-head into the north wilds and find another King Bucko Bigbones that wants the mountain for himself?
-follow up on that 'the squirrel is real?!' hare skepticism?
-inland to recruit a vermin horde?
--or some of the sketchier "good beasts" like whatever those squirrels were, I forget. the Gawtrybe
-????

Edit: Spitballing ideas
- Seth is some prophesied war leader for the Gawtrybe (or we make them think so)
- Arry performs some miracle on either a clan leader of something or a raptor of some kind that's big enough to carry off hares
- Star faces down a bunch of stuck-up hares who won't fight with a bunch of "uncivilized/undisciplined" vermin and/or pirates because pfffffft vermin always lose against the mountain, toddle off.

 

Hee! I like the idea of a Gawtrybe prophecy, if only because Seth would be super embarassed and also angst angst I'm leading a bunch of people like me to their doom. I've decided that I defenitely want to involve Holt Wharf - Seth's childhood friends - somehow, if only because they can crowd Star and make google-eyes at the biggest damn riverdog what they ever seen XD

Also Raksha Cutear has mercenary sort-of-friends in that they leave their kids in the same area as hers and Catrip runs with them when she's not around. Hmm, also there's the stream rats which I'm pretty sure Star and Seth between them can intimidate into following.

 

I'm also pretty sure Raksha has family ties with the flitcheye weasels - I think her sister married into them - so there's a possible lead there. They could smoke the mountain out, if they could be persuaded to leave the safety of the trees and stop eating people long enough to help!

(Also I'm doing some reasearch on the world mythology of least weasels, and they are so badass. Did you know that weasels are one of the few things Wendigo fear, because they can go up their butts and tear them to shreds that way? XDD)

 

So we find Raksha, that gets us mercenary band + flitcheye.

How do we want to do Prophesied Seth?
-Random Encounter: FIGHT! that stops abruptly because oooooo night walker (idfk) oooooooooo
- Someone canny in the group (Kally?) going "Hey these guys are idiots, let's try something." *costume change and some smoke bombs later* "BEHOLD! SQUIRREL BATMAN!"
- both?
- other options?

Holt Wharf could give Star a chance at angst because WOO YEAH OTTER PARTY and then Seth finds her all quiet and alone and miserable in the afterparty :3

 

Hmm, I would say the first one, with the Gawtrybe. They're dumb enough and scatterbrained enough that just a squirrel with a black pelt would be enough to make them go O_O wooooow. Also, I might be remembering this wrong, but aren't they ruled by some owl? Either tawny or short-eared, the skyqueen? I doubt it'll be the same owl, since a lot of time has passed since Martin fought at Marshank, but it might be useful if they could scrape some help there maybe?

 

I completely forgot about that, and I doubt Skyqueen would be chill with us taking an army of squirrels vs Badger Lord without good reason. We could do a 1-2 hit? Gawtrybe are ranging out of their territory because Skyqueen is injured somehow, @ChelG Arry works her magic on Skyqueen and we get them both?

 

Sounds like a good idea!

 

Yeah, ditto! Maybe the Gawtrybe thinks that the Skyqueen has abadoned them and the Black Squirrel is here to lead them to a less godless land! XDD

(Meanwhile there's an injured short-eared owl somewhere behind them going 'OMG Y U SO DUMB' >_>)