Okay, this is the right forum for me just being really sad and needing to talk about it, right? I've been jittering all over this site making random mention of the wank going down on my tumblr over a long-ass homestuck meta post I made months ago. I've been doing that because usually when something is bothering me I just talk about it on tumblr, but I CAN'T for this, and I don't like this uprooted feeling. What happened was, the post was just pretty much confirmed to be canon by the most important homestuck update of my life and I was really excited. Earlier today there was someone being loudly incoherent at me because of their poor reading comprehension, and it bothered me but in a "no, you can't silence me" kind of way. Just now I accidentally stumbled across a different person accusing me of being "dangerously abuse apologetic" in my post. Like, somehow the fact that they could string sentences together without capslock on made me feel a lot worse. Like, they're not over the top absurd, and they're specifically calling me a dangerous abuse apologist which... No. I've almost started crying about this half a dozen times, and it's all in relation to that accusation. I feel so upset and helpless, because I know if I get into it with them it's going to spike my anxiety, and they're going to pressure me to disclose in order to defend my points. I WON'T do that, but it also means I can't talk about WHY being accused of dangerous abuse apologism is the specific thing that's deeply upsetting me. And I've DONE this before, months ago, with different people when the post first caught on. I've had this argument already and I'm tired of it but they're accusing me of something that is like, the worst thing. Also, with the other post it was dumb enough, and in the middle of the day enough, that other people hopped in to be like "wtf r u doin tho?" Which just feels good because it means people I have mutual respect for agree that I have not fucked up and don't deserve to be spoken to like that. Also, there is the fact that the reception has been not just positive, but stunningly enthusiastic all around. Like, of nearly 16,000 notes I've had all of half a dozen or so people get bent out of shape about it. And while that helps, it's the accusations that stick around I guess... It's in the middle of the night now and I'm sad and alone without the ability to unload on tumblr and, at first, fluttering around Kintsugi like, "I'll just post a status. No, it's a tumblr.txt problem, I'll post there. No, I'm genuinely upset and all my friends are in the Complaints Department thread being nice all the time, maybe I'll just go there." and generally making myself a pest. I'm sorry about that. So I'm going to get off the internet after this and do something different, but I'm just mad that, for fuck's sake, I'm a REAL PERSON and these people just feel it's okay to say these cruel things about me like it won't hurt. Now every time I refresh tumblr I get an awful stab of anxiety because there might end up being a bunch of angry bullshit. I have specific trauma related to waiting for pissed off messages to appear online so this is just NOT FUN. Like, I'm hesitant to use this wording because, ugh, tumblr, but this shit is damn near triggering for me and I've had to resist the urge to throw up my dinner for a couple of hours now. I hate it.
Tumblr is obnoxious. You didn't keymash and apologize and exclaim "but abuse is bad!!1" every other sentence, therefore the wank seeking missles of Tumblr have decided you're evil. I hope your break helps with everything.
You haven't been a bother at all with it; this is clearly seriously upsetting you and for good reason. Hugs, or reassuring other things that aren't hugs if hugs are not right now feeling right. You did nothing wrong; they're wrong for jumping to conclusions and being jerks about it.
I saw the post ages ago when you wrote it and thought it was wonderful, especially in the context of what I keep learning of my friend's abusive backgrounds. I still think it is wonderful. I don't see where they get abuse apologism from it, but I'd be glad to talk to them so you don't have to waste your spoons on it. It's horrible to get thrown with such a big, painful blow for simply exploring how fucked up the whole thing was. I can do some good connotation analysis and ask people "do you mean this or understand that when you read this part" and that often gets people to calm down some with me, and if not, at least I can drive some attention from you. I don't think their reactions will upset me either. I just need to do that when it isn't 2 am and I should be asleep <_<; For what it's worth, in my opinion, your posts and input on this forum have been very helpful for me when it comes to relating to stuff one of my friends has gone through, and is helping me help them figure out shit about their abuse experiences. My main method of showing people love and care is making them tea or asking them if they want some/want something else, so here is my mug of internet vienesse blend (darjeeling and earl grey). Do you like tea with sugar, milk, lemon, or honey, or some combination? I like black teas with a bit of honey because it feels like a hug to my digestive system.
You clarified your wording when I asked and have been pretty impressively patient with people about this. *hugs*
@swirlingflight The thing I've seen with each of these people is that they're really mad that other people have been splitting on my post the other way from them. Without putting it so coherently, what I've gotten from them is often "I saw someone else using your post to 'justify' things that I don't agree with, therefore you are bad." Because I have so much control over other people. I can only make myself so clear, you know? Kids fucking splitting both ways on my excellent meta and then screaming at me about the people standing on the other side. I neither agree nor give a fuck about either group until someone starts calling me hurtful, cruel things. So yeah, it's break time soon, I just gotta finish up some work and respond to the nice people here. This is helping. @Morven Thank you for hugs, they are much appreciated. And yeah, like, I've had other people jump to conclusions on me without being a jerk about it and it turned out lovely. It's being told to "sit down" by shouting people like I have no right to be unhappy about being discussed publicly in an untrue manner that rubs me wrong. @Raire Tea sounds lovely, and I think I really will make a cup and say it's from you. Thank you for the suggestion. c: As for talking about abuse stuff, that's kind of my hobby AND what I'm looking for in a job so I like to think I'm good at it. I'm glad that you think I've been helpful, and it is worth a lot that you told me so kindly. This is also why I'm being so salty about Actual Abuse Apologist Beldaran because godDAMN is that galling. As for talking to people about it, I've asked the latest angry person to just, you know, talk to me instead of bitching about me to the whole wide world, and I did thank them for saying they thought I "meant well" even though that itself is kind of condescending. I didn't just mean well, that's an excellent fuckin' post, thanks. I feel... weird about asking someone to go talk to them for me, like I'm doing the thing Luka's Heathers accuse him of, "sending" people or whatever. But if you want to weigh in by asking questions when you're not meant to be asleep that'd be nice. I don't plan on talking to their angry friend anymore though, the one who told me to "sit down" like a dog or something. But yeah, I'm doing my best to be patient with people, and keeping my upsetness and hostility where it won't poison the possibility for future dialog. @prismaticvoid Thank you very much, and I'm glad you felt comfortable asking for clarification even when I was being all upset. Explaining my position on things actually makes me feel a LOT better because when I feel heard that just deescalates my emotions by leaps and bounds. (That's true for pretty much everyone, but usually it's an unconscious thing, lol.) I'm trying to be patient, and I gratefully accept hugs.
Also, oh man, nothing like the WORST CAT for making me wonder why I'm mad about the internet instead of being mad about this CAT who is the WORST. XD Stop destroying my apartment, cat!
Clearly you are focusing too much on yourself and not enough on CAT. CAT destroys STUFF in order to obtain ATTENTION.
I just. Hate Tumblr. So much. People did that on the Crocro post too, split both ways. Well, most of the polarized comments went to "hdu cro is scum stop seeing good in him," and then CAA. It also happens with Vriska. Basically, any abusive person in Homestuck is splitting-prone, and it's not your fault that these people lack nuance. Also I haven't been keeping up with the comic but the way you traced everyone's personalities made things make sense to me, so thank you for that. *passes u shortbread cookies*
Holy crap the apology post from respondirk was good, though, especially coming from a 14-year-old. That is some self-reflection there.
i am disappoint if respondirk was going off on you, they're apparently a huge fan of mine and like a lot of my posts. but if they apologized then all is well. why do i have so many 14 year olds reading my incredibly nsfw blog.
i don't have a problem with that; so did i. i do have a problem with the legal ramifications for me personally. my followers make a specific choice to follow me. on ao3 they can just lie to the filter applied to every work, a more general choice. i don't want stuck with legal liability because someone else made a bad choice. it would be especially heinous for me. at the same time, my blog is not always nsfw. i don't always post nsfw writing, even though that's the vast majority of my work. i have a complex relationship with my followers.
Alrighty then. That makes no sense to me, but okay. I mean, if people go looking for it, can you really blame the person who put it up when they find it?
yes. it's an issue of strict liability, that is, liability without fault. you posted porn, someone found the porn who shouldn't have found the porn, you're liable even if it's not your fault. i tag all porn nsfw, describe what's under the cut before the cut, and put it behind a cut. i think that's the most i can do without actively having my blog flagged nsfw.
@pixels is the legal person here but I'd assume it's because most kids do what I did: see porn, read/ignore porn, carry on with life. I can't imagine many minors want to tell anyone else they were looking at porn anyway.
