My friend had a baby and I'm going to try to make a blanket for her. Im not good at finishing projects so this is my accountability post
I hung out with a guy tonight, we hung out and he mentioned he had been in jail. None of my alarm bells were ringing, until he mentioned it was for a sexual assault. Went home, told my dad about it so he could look him up. I googled him myself, and the conviction was from a few years ago and involved a 12-13 year old. I noped out and told him I wasn't comfortable seeing him. Hopefully it ends there. My dad, however, blew up at me, calling me an idiot and asking me what I expected to get, hanging out with a rapist. Nice, dad. I'm feeling pretty dumb right now, but having my father berate me is really cutting. Just... ugh. I'll do my own research and stop involving him. Now if I'm 'lucky' everyone in the family will find out and think I'm a dumbass. Sorry I don't immediately Google names! I've been around so many toxic people I tend to trust my gut, and most of the time it's right Ugh.
This year has been a series of kicks in the ribs. I don't want to get into it on the forum because it's a very sensitive issue and we have lots of survivors here. But damn am I tired. Guess the only reason I'm posting is cause I'm lonely and crying at 2 in the morning and im. So tired. And mad.
Still tired and mad. I have some friends who are going through the same thing, and that helps a little. Work is the worst since I can't distract myself properly. I hate feeling like I'm losing time. I miss them and I want them back.
Still missing them, my social life's in the shitter, 2019 is a bitch. I'm a virgin at 22 because once I found someone I was comfy fuckin the universe was like "nah" *yoink* I'm tired and whiny and it's four in the morning.
my sex drive is finally dead again but prolly because depression slunk back in she a sexy ho but she never does the dishes and you should stop inviting her over to fuck anyway its 5 in the morning and my brain does weird things when its overtired but seriously this sex thing is annoying. I had a sex drive for a while, like with an actual person. and now he's been gone for a year and its hibernating again wonder how fast it'll wake back up again hopefully not too soon, i'd hate to visit him and then go back home and scream into my pillow plague is not helping my mental health I want to explain things more but its a hella unfortunate situation and i'd rather not upset a lot of people cause this place is like social media minus my parents, so better.
I panicked all day about calling my dad and then when I did call him it went to voicemail because I finally called him about 10 pm his time. But I technically called him so I'm considering that a win for now
Mom, 15 minutes into a conversation, mostly involving topics we've already gone over: "Don't you hate it when people take forever to get to the point and you're just falling asleep listening to them?" Me, scrolling through tumblr: "Uh huh."
The phone call lasted forty minutes, this is why i dont call my mom also all she does is blather on about the state of the world, when she's not telling me the same story she told me 24 hours ago, so its like. verbal doomscrolling. yes, thank you mom, i love this on my day off.
