Adulting is Hard etc

Discussion in 'Brainbent' started by Enzel, Jan 14, 2016.

  1. Enzel

    Enzel androgynous jrpg protag

    after having a landlord I could directly text, for all her flaws, it's very frustrating to have a landlord who is the owner of a company and goes on vacation every fucking week and is only in the office like Monday thru Wednesday or something...I was told they'd send someone to check out the smell and update me and they did but I never got a call. :| ofc. and the smell is still there and giving Aki breathing issues. But apparently it's not the dryer, which is brand new etc etc. I have no clue what the fuck it is but the lady at the office is like...she works for the plumbing company and not the realty company (both owned by the landlord) but said she'd pass it on but they can't do anything until Monday and I'm like

    are you serious??? I get that it's not her specific problem but the landlord has no way to respond to something that is AFFECTING THE HEALTH OF HER TENANTS in a timely manner??? I keep asking what number I'm supposed to call for maintenance requests but all the calls I've made to the # on the lease go to the realty office and they always sound exasperated like I'm wasting their time...don't like it. You rent apartments you have to be prepared to communicate with your fucking tenants??

    parents told me to threaten to call the fire dept bc its kind of a burning smell but I don't know what to do. It's been on and off for weeks, sometimes in the bathroom and the back two bedrooms (aka Aki's room & office) and sometimes in the kitchen. I could also smell it in the basement near the dryer so if it's not the dryer I have no clue what the fuck it is but. WHAT. seriously. It smells similar to cigarettes but not quite. which is apparently what burning lint smells like. I have no idea.

    I guess my only option rn is try to keep checking the basement when i smell it and see if I can pinpoint anything...

    On top of this the upstairs neighbors' kid stays up til 2am and jumps up and down all the time and does something that straight up sounds like she's skateboarding or riding a scooter in the house...so we tried to make a noise complaint as well and the lady was like "you have to work it out with them directly but we can't give you their contact info just go up and knock on their door" like we haven't tried that...not to mention the other week the guy on the 3rd floor was working on his car in the driveway at 1am and the 2nd floor guy made a noise complaint about it so clearly...we can make noise complaints...just the plumbing company lady has no clue and can't even tell me who to talk to that does, apparently.

    AAAAAAAAAAAAGH

    I know it's a pandemic but stop letting your 5 year old stay up until 2am making noise!!!!!!!!!!!

    I'm just. this is still better than the old place but it's really fucking frustrating to be dealing with this stuff while looking for another job because PANDEMIC and trying to sort out our stuff still.
     
  2. Enzel

    Enzel androgynous jrpg protag

    Was sorting some things out and discovered an extremely passive-aggressive email my manager sent me several days ago, apparently, where she informs me that the regional manager is forcing her to cut my hours further, which is apparently reasonable because there's not enough work to do, and I can't complain bc the other employees got hours cut too?? (except HER of course because she has a FUCKING SALARY)

    And then proceeds to inform me in a sickeningly cheerful way that I need to do my own paperwork and processing and not give it to the other employees, which I have in fact been doing for at least a week without her needing to tell me. (Other people handling it was something that was set up in the winter when I was overwhelmed with work. Of course I'm not a complete fucking idiot so it did occur to me that maybe with a reduced workload I could go back to doing it myself. Which! I already did!!!) And then I have to be pushy and a salesperson to customers in order to get more work for myself. But it's ok because she believes in me!!! Or something.

    Never mind that when there's no customers, the sales employees literally have nothing to do but sit on their phones. Meanwhile during my down time I have been keeping busy making reference resources for the other people in my position in other stores, LIKE SHE ASKED ME TO WEEKS AGO, because there are no official company ones. I don't just sit on my ass and do nothing??? I organized the entire fucking stockroom a few weeks ago???

    So essentially "btw I'm dropping you to 15 hrs a week even though you're technically a full time employee and I expect you to just suck it up. Maybe if you want more hours you should do more work and stop being lazy and giving your work to other people, and also beg customers to buy stuff to give you more work to do nvm that you only applied for this job specifically because it isnt a sales position"

    Why is she such a huge bitch

    Like I can kind of understand that she's in a rough situation bc she has to do what the regional manager says but the tone of the entire email basically accusing me of slacking off was completely uncalled for. I'm so fucking done??

    I don't even know what to say. I really want to sit her down and explain how incredibly disrespectful it is but my instincts say it's not worth it and I should just go in and tell her extremely cheerfully that I have in fact been doing the stuff she told me to do without her needing to tell me.


    "Sorry you have to find a second job to be able to pay rent in the middle of a fucking pandemic, never mind that you needed to go to a disability agency to get this job to begin with, i couldnt be bothered to tell you this ahead of time and reduced your hours the second time without telling you, and since you confronted me about it I'm now formally informing you in this shitty email, oops, teehee, also work harder or else, oops let me dress that up with some completely empty condescending bullshit about how I believe in you!!"
     
    Last edited: Aug 3, 2020
  3. Enzel

    Enzel androgynous jrpg protag

    I needed to be asleep almost 3 hours ago because I need to get up for the stupid shitty store meeting and ofc I'm just lying here filled with miserable rage instead.

    I hate her so much. I just fucking hate her. We were fine and then she got the slightest bit more power and suddenly became a huge bitch which just means she was a huge bitch all along. I can't believe I cried in front of her. I can't believe she's seen that side of me and now she thinks she can talk to me like I'm five years old. I'm OLDER THAN HER. I hate playing that card but this is ridiculous.

    I just can't even express how supremely shitty it is to talk to someone like that
     
  4. Enzel

    Enzel androgynous jrpg protag

    mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

    99F temp and slight sore throat hoping its just stress but wearing a mask inside now

    fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffuck.
     
  5. Enzel

    Enzel androgynous jrpg protag

    life summary:

    -apartment smell seems to be resolving?? it only took 2 plumbers and the landlord's husband to find the problem -_- dry sewage drain pipe or something. can still smell a little in the kitchen/bathroom but it's dissipating from Aki's room which is the important part


    -tried to speak to upstairs neighbors in person about the noise and the husband yelled at me so that's great. asshole. his wife at least seemed more reasonable but overwhelmed. Which makes me suspect he doesn't help her w the kids and that's why the 3 year old runs around all day. (yeah apparently she's tall for 3...5 was my assumption) Mostly I just wanted them to know that the floors are shitty and they may be making more noise than they realize, and also can they just make an effort to keep it down after 10pm, but apparently that's "harassment" according to the husband :))))))) (nvm that we spoke to him very casually about it weeks ago and he brushed us off, then we went to the landlord about it and still nothing changed)

    ALSO THEY LET THE LITTLE GIRL RIDE HER PLASTIC TRICYCLE AROUND INSIDE ON BARE FLOORS. TILE. augh


    -no fever today but throat still feels scratchy so I'm calling off work tomorrow and going to try to get a covid test. not fucking around here. I've only been out to run errands and go to work but while most people do wear masks here, they're kinda bad about social distancing in stores and there's a lot of people with the mask under their nose...ugh.

    We went to Aki's parents' yesterday to do laundry and I kept my mask on as much as possible but I wish I'd refused food...I feel horrible now.

    Doctor's office isn't open today but going to call first thing tomorrow.
     
  6. Enzel

    Enzel androgynous jrpg protag

    nerves are totally shot now. store is out of cleaning wipes so i just got a big thing of hand sanitizer...have rubbing alcohol I can put in a spray bottle I guess. Coordinating w roommates what times I can use kitchen/bathroom...

    never wanted to have a normal cold so badly before

    nvm if i've given it to someone else already, that's worse

    going to ask advice when i talk to the doctor but I dunno how long it takes test results to come in these days so I might want to just take the whole week off. was just starting to build up PTO again...and forget job hunting. gotta relay this new development to parents -_-

    trying to keep cleaning up my room so I can minimize the time spent outside of it preparing food etc...then have to sit down and make myself more masks, I only have 3 and if I have to wear one 24/7 now...
     
  7. Enzel

    Enzel androgynous jrpg protag

    anxiety meds were starting to wear off so I took some and hopefully that will help...wearing a mask makes me clench my jaw so im trying to chill TF out and not get another TMJ flareup

    if this is a false alarm I swear I'm going to wear mask/face shield combo whenever I go out regardless. idc if people think im paranoid.
     
  8. Enzel

    Enzel androgynous jrpg protag

    Don't feel any worse physically...time to make doctor phone call tho
     
  9. Enzel

    Enzel androgynous jrpg protag

    Covid test results wont be in til monday. Have to be careful. Again dont feel any worse but dont feel any better either

    Tomorrow I have to

    -pick up laundry and TV

    -make sure electric bill autopay worked

    -figure out if I can in fact get unemployment for reduced work hours
     
  10. Enzel

    Enzel androgynous jrpg protag

    Good(?) Things:

    Covid negative

    Got re approved for unemployment on the basis of reduced hours


    Less good things:

    Still have a scratchy throat and no clue why

    Stayed up til 5am when I have a doctors appointment at 9am bc I have zero self control
     
  11. Enzel

    Enzel androgynous jrpg protag

    Hmm....existential dread setting in

    It finally hit me that I got a stable job and was looking forward to finally having some order in my life and...that's...just never going to happen. I kept waiting and waiting and it kept getting pushed back "after this month. After we move I'll be able to have savings" and we're basically looking at complete societal breakdown right now. I know there's still a slim chance that people will do the right thing and maybe...pull us up enough to have a rough landing instead of a flaming nose-down crash but. Idk where this metaphor is going.

    Pandemic means my job is no longer a guarantee and the state of the country means that pandemic is probably going to go on for years and I can't make rent even on partial unemployment. I'm so tired of scraping by. I'm so tired!!! All I do is run after things I can barely catch. All I do is manage to take a few things off the pile of Stuff That Needs To Be Done every week while it piles exponentially higher. Its sisyphean.

    I basically had two weeks off work bc they wouldn't let me come in until I was guaranteed covid-free and I still didn't get anything near what needed to be done finished. Yes, I did things, I made progress, but it's so hard to feel any sense of accomplishment when there's still more on the pile.

    Doesn't help that the upstairs neighbor is being a fucking dick and the landlord brushed it off as "everyone is stressed out rn bc of Covid" (he swore at my roommate for leaving her car in the driveway that we're ALL ALLOWED TO USE PER THE LEASE bc she had to bring groceries in instead of fucking texting one of us to move it like a normal human being, this is after he screamed at me for daring to ask them to not let their 3 year old ride her goddamn tricycle in the house while Aki is working???)

    Also the mysterious burning smell improved for a bit but seems to be getting worse again and I'm completely at a loss....and we had to call maintenance bc one of the pipes in our bathroom ceiling wore out and was dripping everywhere. Thankfully they fixed it promptly but they left the bathroom absolutely filthy and I had to clean it.

    Also my throat is STILL scratchy, I went in to the doctor and they had to send me to a clinic that takes ppl w Covid symptoms even tho I tested negative...the doctor there told me it could be either allergies or acid reflux and I took allergy meds but they did literally nothing AND interacted with my anxiety meds to make me dizzy. And if I had acid reflux I think I would know...the only thing I can think of is that I've been struggling to eat on a schedule but that's bc I haven't been at work so it can't be the cause.

    I think I need to see an ENT again bc there has to be something going on w my nose that makes it so hard for me to breathe. Even using nose strips at night I wake up w my mouth open bc my nose got clogged overnight (and again allergy meds did nothing about that...)

    Still trying to recover from TMJ flareup and have that residual water-in-ears thing and I HATE IT. (I forgot nose strips 2 days in a row which aggravated it and then I made the mistake of chewing gum which made it worse...)


    A few good things:

    I did finally get the refund check from my old ISP yay

    I made my roommate's cat a chair. She is getting less shy (anxiety meds help) and while I haven't been able to pet her, she won't immediately run and hide if I walk into the room so...progress. (she just stares o___o) hopefully she will be happy to have a chair she can scratch all she wants and leave our furniture alone.

    I got new shoes that are comfortable and don't cut off my circulation.



    Things:

    -Need to figure out how to hang up the thing I got to store fabric with.

    -need to figure out how to mount bike hanger on the porch... (porch was added after building was built so there's plastic siding on the inside wall and I'm not sure how to tackle screwing something into that...)

    -porch curtains

    -small ikea trip sometime for some practical things we need. (Sock hanger for drying clothes. Clothesline. Curtain hardware.)

    -figure out how/where to store towels/linens, holiday decor stuff...

    -need to call doctor abt bill that wasn't sent to insurance???

    -sort out stuff we want to put in storage (extra kitchen stuff etc)

    -submit unemployment tomorrow
    and calculate finances


    -need to figure out how to transfer car ownership by the end of the month, which means DMV and inspection...and money...and I should probably apply for a realID now that the utility bills match my address :| (more money...)
     
    Last edited: Aug 24, 2020
  12. Enzel

    Enzel androgynous jrpg protag

    I am grateful my anxiety meds keep me functional but for once my emotional state when I'm off them is actually reflected in the world around me and that's. A weird feeling. Like I don't want to stop taking them because spiraling about how the world is horrible and on fire is...not productive and also upsetting...but also part of me wants to actually feel something about it??? I don't know. I guess I just want those feelings to be validated? I'm so used to just pushing them away to keep trying to move forward.


    All I did today was sort things in the kitchen to make them more accessible which. Granted it was important bc I realized it was causing some of my executive dysfunction re: feeding myself. But it still feels like I didn't accomplish much bc that was one item on my list and it took me the entire day...ugh.

    I go back to work Tuesday. I feel kind of...idk. just disoriented. I'm going to have to ask my parents to help w money probably. I still have no idea what's up w/ the possibility of a promotion??? Or if I should try to look for something else...my parents are apparently wanting to have a ""talk"" with me about pursuing something more stable and I'm like. What the fuck is stable right now. Because I'm sure as hell not gonna work for Amazon. HVAC I guess??? I don't really give a shit about it if I'm going to do another trade I'd rather do carpentry...but apparently that doesn't pay, lol! I'm just fucked, I guess, because there's nothing I can do that won't completely drain me physically or emotionally that will make me enough money to live on.

    (I typed this Sunday but apparently never hit post)
     
    • Witnessed x 1
  13. Enzel

    Enzel androgynous jrpg protag

    our electric bill for this month is absolutely obscene and even accounting for several AC units it doesn't add up. (4 bedroom apartment, 3 people, $340??????) So now I have to investigate that. going to try looking at the meter first then may need to invest in something that lets me measure appliance input/output.

    tired.

    really starting to feel like we got ripped off w this place. I noticed in the basement you can literally see part of the underside of our bathtub thru the ceiling. concerning. still haven't figured out where the fuck the burning smell is coming from and neighbor keeps smoking weed in the backyard and its getting into both of my roommate's rooms.
     
  14. Enzel

    Enzel androgynous jrpg protag

    One thing after another...

    I'm now getting partial unemployment bc of my reduced work hours which is. Something. I still need to call abt the electric bill. Something is wrong w the car and no idea how much it will cost to fix and I need to find a mechanic that won't rip me off. I had to ask parents to help me w rent this month and it took...a lot even tho they promised me at the beginning of August that they would help. They definitely have the money it's just. My mother kept moving goalposts saying I needed to apply for rent relief (even tho we have a joint lease so the application would probably get denied on the fact that my roommates can technically cover me. I just don't want to do that to them because y'know, I like them) I promised to find a second job. (Bc even w the unemployment its....barely enough)



    Extremely sleep deprived. New med dosage is working well but ofc they wear off by the evening and then I hyperfocus on bullshit until 4am while I scream at my brain to go to bed. Then have to get up for work at 9. I don't know how to stop doing this. (psych gave me some strategies to try. Will see how it goes)

    Did make some apartment progress. The living room is starting to look like an actual living space & I boxed up a bunch of stuff for storage and put other things that were just taking up space out on the curb. My room is still a mess...there are still bins of fabric and stuff on the floor I need to store somehow. I did do a bunch of little projects that I justified by saying "if I use up this material I don't have to figure out where to store it", lol. Got curtains up on the porch so it's way more temperature controlled now.

    At least I used up most of this giant, heavy bolt of fabric that was taking up too much space by using it to make stuff for the cats.

    (I dont even know what it was for, I could swear a friend of mine commissioned me to make her some pants years ago and then I never did bc executive dysfunction, but I've asked her twice and she doesn't remember anything of the sort, so I figured I'd just finally use it up)

    Vacuumed all our rugs that were just sitting there rolled up and they're all way less dirty than I thought so it shouldn't be too bad to finish cleaning them.

    I should get up and eat and research mechanics bc we need to be able to drive this weekend to do some specific things...but I've been lying in bed for several hours. Definitely feeling the physical exhaustion even if my mind is less tired
     
  15. Enzel

    Enzel androgynous jrpg protag

    My graphics card finally went kaput...I was having computer problems that implicated it for a while but they stopped for a couple months and I thought I was in the clear...then it suddenly died. Could be worse, could have been something less easy to replace, plus it was 5-6 yrs old...but it was an expense I super did not need rn...and considering I just had to ask for help w/ rent that was the push that made me actually start constructing a commission sheet x.x

    Tonight I need to take the electricity bill off autopay and just pay part of it (they're doing no late fees bc of covid so the extra will just roll over...) & submit UI for last wk...tomorrow morning drop the car off at the mechanic to see what's wrong w/ it. Also need to pick up meds this week. Finish commission sheet & brushing up resume.

    In terms of phone calls I need to wrangle a medical bill that doesn't seem to have been sent thru insurance & also call my doctor abt the fact that the sore throat is still not going away...its been literally a month. I can't remember if the doctor actually did a strep test or not. All I remember is she looked in my throat and said it wasn't strep/mono...internet says prolonged sore throat w.o fever or other symptoms, that isn't allergies or acid reflux irritation is probably tonsillitis but I would think that would also be visible?? Hurgh. It got suddenly harder to swallow the past few days so I started taking painkillers and that brings the swelling down temporarily but.

    Yesterday was nice at least. Went out w/ the roommates to check out our local gaming store & Aki got craploads of dice. (carefully socially distancing & they only let 10 ppl in the store at a time...I'm glad they're staying afloat at least.) Also the used bookstore nearby was having a sale so I got a couple old school diy upholstery books bc it's a skill I want to learn that might actually come in handy. (technically I shouldn't have spent more money but $4/book seemed like a small investment for something useful...it's hard to find old school techniques on the internet sometimes.) Then we got takeout & went home and watched Black Panther which I actually hadn't seen yet. Don't have much to say abt it that hasn't already been said but it immediately jumped to my top 5 movies of all time.
     
  16. Enzel

    Enzel androgynous jrpg protag

    clutches head

    I know not having lots of spoons is just a thing but I still hate being unable to do more than one "important" thing a day



    Urgent:

    -ELECTRIC BILL
    -Submit UI
    -resume
    -commission sheet

    -call mechanic (first guy who looked at car recommended someone else for the specific problem)

    -pick up meds
    -call doc abt throat

    -medical bill
    -aki health insurance
    -dentist...
     
    Last edited: Sep 21, 2020 at 9:44 AM
  17. Enzel

    Enzel androgynous jrpg protag

    looks at list

    lies on floor

    Can't take credit for everything even bc the electric bill got charged earlier than i thought it would before i could take it off autopay so. Gotta just come up w the money somehow i guess.

    My throat has at least been *feeling* better since i started aggressively gargling salt water every day but still having trouble swallowing.

    Looks like work is finally starting to pick up but I doubt I'll be back to full time hrs anytime soon &unemployment cuts off at a point so. The "promotion" job my manager suggested I apply for turns out to be 100% a managing people position and...no. I know myself too well and I would hate it. I wouldn't mind being the authority on techniques and stuff but they want someone who does weekly meetings and evaluates people by skill level etc...no thanks. I can see myself burning out super quickly.

    Anyway it means I should probably apply for that other job anyway. If there's still an opening.

    Tired.
     
    • Witnessed x 1
  18. Enzel

    Enzel androgynous jrpg protag

    Looks like the most I can work per week and still get some unemployment is 25 hrs...last week was lucky I guess bc I was just under that so they won't close my claim bc this wk I'm back to 15. Sigh. (It's all depending on how much work comes in for me specifically and also if my manager can charge some of it to other stores bc they mailed me work to do...)

    Taking car in for repair on Thurs. Thankfully Aki's parents agreed to help pay for repair bc they were going to sell it to us anyway and the problem is something that would have developed over a long period of time...still have no idea how much tho.

    Got lucky also bc I thought my headset died but it was just the extension/splitter cord. I was ready to shell out for the wireless version of it bc I thought i ruined it by constantly forgetting to take it off before standing up (I mean I did but thankfully the damage wasnt to the headphones themselves...) but it turns out the audio quality for the wireless version is...not gud. I use Discord enough that it would absolutely give me a headache and a more expensive wireless headset would be even more out of budget. So I got a new extension cord instead and now I need to return the wireless ones...its the better outcome money wise but i wish I hadn't been so hasty bc I have to wait til the car is fixed to return it.

    (I never thought I would be a headphones snob but here we are. Tbf it might sound stupid but we use Discord at home while sitting in different rooms for convenience so...the mic quality would not be great for Aki or my other friends w/ audio processing issues to have to listen to constantly either.)

    Cat situation is...hm. we thought they were doing better but larger cat is getting weirdly aggressive at Aki & the smaller one, who became friendly w us, is having incontinence issues...we think it's nerves but they have a vet visit next week to make sure it's not something medical for either of them...(unfortunately vets are swamped rn so that's the soonest they could be seen.) We've been trying to improve the space for them (climbing spots etc) but keep running into logistics issues. It sucks. (Right now the issue is we need a roof rack to transport supplies from home depot and the car needs to be fixed first...)

    Roommate (their owner) was home all the time and then just started full time work a few weeks ago so I think the change rly upset them...smaller cat def has separation anxiety and likes Aki but won't stay in their room while they work for some reason, keeps crying for them to sit in the common area.

    I've become the designated "clean up after cat accidents person" bc I am not easily grossed out but I hope we can find a solution soon...I've had to clean cat diarrhea off of two cushions so far, sigh. We've had to cover all the furniture w plastic tablecloths until we figure out what's wrong...it seems to be involuntary bc smaller cat tried to get Aki's attention to show them the accident once when it was on the chair I made for her. ;_; she's a smart little cookie, just very stressed. (I think she's more stressed *because* she's smart tbh.)

    Going to put some cat pics in my bijou thread.

    Added some stuff to list...
     
  19. Enzel

    Enzel androgynous jrpg protag

    Everything happens so much...

    Upstairs neighbor is being a shithead again

    Apparently had a guy over working on the internet cables outside our window for unknown reason and Aki heard him saying something abt how he got everyone in the building's permission for whatever it is.

    Which is absolute fucking bullshit bc he's never said a word to any of us since he screamed at me that one time :) (apparently the work guy didn't believe him either...so who knows what he did...I'm going to have to go scope it out when I get home UGH)

    Also his child still runs back and forth back and forth constantly and apparently today screamed and cried hysterically for an hour and a half while her mother yelled at her. Lovely. Having serious concerns about her well being.

    This is all while Aki is home trying to work and I can hear the running at 9am when I get up and its still usually happening at 6pm when I come home.

    I'm sure its contributing to the cats' stress as well...I have no idea what to do aside from try to contact the realtor who was supposedly handling the noise complaint and never got back to us.
     
    • Witnessed x 1
  20. Enzel

    Enzel androgynous jrpg protag

    Idk. Tomorrow I take the car for repair and will see what happens...i don't have any idea how long it will take to fix or what.

    Need to do laundry. Need to get roommate to go to the laundromat BC her executive dysfunction is affecting her hygiene and I am worried abt her. Need to make a bunch of various phone calls for various medical reasons, tired...have not applied for job or made commissions post and I know I'm fucking myself over for money this month but I'm so overwhelmed.
     
    Last edited: Sep 16, 2020
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