ajax brainrot central.... mk2!!!!

every time i make one of these threads i end up abandoning it. i will try not to do that with this one.

so: quick life updates

i am a black butler fan first and a human second. i loved it in high school and then had my insane multi year fit where i flailed wildly at everything and everyone and now i am better and realize that yeah actually the premise is good and kind of fucks severely. that season 4 announcement came right after i told my partner i'd get a black butler tattoo if they announced anything this year-- i'm playing with ideas because ciel is my little scrungly.

i had a multi year obssession with genshin that has now been replaced by honkai star rail and also black butler and trigun. i still have some blorbos but my fuck they do not care about player retention. i am so tired

i tried antidepressants-- not for me. my heart issues and anxieties around taking daily medication can't quite be solved by having meds i don't take. the depression is there, but livable. the anxiety that permeates everything in my life and makes me ghost jobs if i think i'll be in the slightest bit of trouble, however,

so i have situational anxiety meds now. i haven't had to take them, but having them near is helpful.

i am trying so hard to start testosterone but it's difficult given the aforementioned heart problems. my cardiologist is being very cautious, which i appreciate, but unfortunately i am not a patient person and want to go through puberty 2 blease.

i got really into roleplaying bloodhound apex legends as a wolf on multiple warrior cats spinoff sites and that was fun and sillay

remember the joke. about me being ramona flowers with all her evil exes? yeah that happened again. i have another boyfriend now, we've been together since november 2021. i've known him for. a very long time. 6-7 years? back during the ray days.

i know i say this every time, but i think he's the one.

 

i've also written a few honkai star rail fics-- nothing very long, but my brainrot in the first month of its release was INTENSE. i'll link my ao3 here when the site isn't being actively ddosed,

 

ao3. my sillays

 

i haven't played honkai impact or apho but i am obsessed with void archives. my mippy!!!!!!!!

back to genshin because i am clinically unwell once again with the release of a new region, i have been developing brainworms around shipping neuvillette with freminet. they're such tender and sensitive people from what we see and i just. i just think it's cute

 

more tattoo thoughts too: i want one specifically of lyrics from virtute at rest. if you haven't heard the entire virtute the cat saga and can stand references to addiction and alcoholism, as well as animal death, it's worth the like. 14 minute listen.

it's from the perspective of a cat, about her owner who struggles with alcohol abuse. my friend recommended it to me, and i've been recommending it to everyone i know who has. struggled a lot in life. the final song is one i think i needed to hear.

 

I have been playing star rail too and I really like it!!

But I'm having a hard time getting through the story, mostly because I can't multitask it and something else and my brain does not want to pay attention to only one thing, RIP

late, but congrats on the PRNs. they've always been helpful for me as long as I remember to actually take them. I do recommend maybe doing a test one day when you don't have anything to do? mine make me drozy/brain foggy as fuck and while I can function, it's not super recommended. so like I'd hate for you take them for the first time and need to do something like drive and have it hit you too hard or something.
just my expierence, take with a grain of salt etc

 

i'm glad you're enjoying it! the story can be a bit rough if you don't have the attention span, but thankfully it's a pretty casual game so you can take your time!

i hope you can figure out a solution soon! my attention span struggles too, but i can usually force myself to be engaged if there's a character i like involved, haha.

and that's good to know honestly. i was warned they'd probably make me drowsy, but you're right, it'd be good to have a frame of reference for How Drowsy. i might try one just to see what happens when i have a day off.

 

like I like it a lot, so i'm gonna make my way through it. eventually. i just have some brainweirds working against me hahaha
I'm currently in the 3rd area, so the xianzhou and catching kafka still. so not that far behind i don't think but still lol

yeah! plus if you're having any low level anxiety, you can gauge how well they work too.
for me, mine take lil to kick in, but not too long maybe 10 min? 20? my sense of time is not to be relied on xD they get rid of my low level anxiety (like the nausea and tight feeling in my chest), and when i've had like a full blown anxiety attack, they help me get to that kinda numb post attack feeling quicker. so a little drowsy is definitely worth it i just have trouble remembering it's an option.

also i don't think they used to make my drowsy (i was taking them as sleep aids for a while(doctor's orders) and didn't notice much of a difference) but now they do, so your reaction could change over time maybe? i take hydroxyzine which i've been told is not habit forming, which is a bonus so i don't even have to worry about that.

 

you're not super far behind. the luofu's story after that gets a bit long, but it's more so that there's a lot going on in a few different areas. there's a lot of chances to take a break when you need it.

that's a good idea too. i'll try them out the next time i'm anxious and have a bit of time to myself. it'd be good to know of any side effects before i absolutely need them. just in case.

(i was offered the same anxiety meds for my first surgery after i broke my hand when i saw the size of the needles, funnily enough.)

also good to know it could change over time too! thank you!

 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/49894171

hi i wrote cringe genshin dragon mpreg tragic yaoi that's all

 

after being introduced to the mystery dungeon sprite repository i am reminded that i do, in fact, have rpgmaker 2003, and could, in theory, make a silly little fangame to learn how the program works,

 

i have what my boyfriend calls peer-reviewed autism, which is when other autistic people look at you and are like. huh that sounds like autism

i'd make a list of my various symptoms and stuff and ask people here what they think but every time i go to do it i forget every experience i've ever had in my entire life. i did not exist until that moment.

 

struggling just slightly with these two fics i'm juggling but i think a lot of it is because my attention is so divided because of the uh. everything in chel's fic. new goal do not write like that ever

 

the decidedly not porn fic is bugging me more but i know its because i cant get the dialogue to not sound too. stiff, i think. hm

 

guy who hates writing dialogue writes so much dialogue and then complains about having to write dialogue

 

maybe i'll write the parts i Want to write first and fill in the blanks later. no rules no gods no masters

 

Spoiler: nsfw, neuvillette/freminet, based on neuvillette leaks

Neuvillette pulls Freminet into the water with him, human form melting away to reveal a long, finned dragon, spines and scales, claws and teeth. The great beast would encircle and ensnare Freminet within his coils, gently holding him. Nuzzling into the other man’s hair.

Freminet’s hands trace over his scales, the slime barrier that encased them allowing his hands to glide with ease. The younger, smaller man’s hands slip underneath the Justice’s chin, scratching gently, rousing a purr from the hydro sovereign.

Neuvillette’s tongue swipes gently over Freminet’s face as he was pet, an affectionate gesture, like he were using it to preen between the scales of another dragon. Starting at the top of his head, working its way over neck and shoulders, his coils vibrating with purrs. Freminet laughs, bubbles erupting from his mouth.

Together, they had found a private little cavern for the both of them, one that had a shore, and fresh air, so Freminet could breathe. Neuvillette could breathe through either water or air, great gills at the sides of his throat, protected by spiked plating. It became their own little sanctuary, where they could both slip away from the world around them, find comfort in one another in ways they still felt hesitant about in public.

Neuvillette gently guided them to the shore, unfurling his coils and allowing Freminet to move freely, laying halfway in the water, his upper body still towering over the smaller man. His tongue stroking Freminet’s face again as the younger man tries to speak, droplets of saliva meeting his lips, dissolving.

“Monsieur–” He shakes his head after the interruption, tasting Neuvillette on his tongue. “I’m not sure how long I have. Father wants to see me tonight.”


Neuvillette’s expression seems to soften, as much as it could for a dragon, for something great and scaled and fishlike. Another nuzzle into Freminet’s hair and a soft, wordless plea.

Stay with me.

Freminet can feel a gentle heat pooling between his legs, but thinks little of it, even as his face begins to flush. He nuzzles into those slippery scales, offering a kiss to the hydro dragon, his beloved. Touched, tender, that Neuvillette felt comfortable sharing this side of him, this form.

i've been dwelling on this idea for like a week or so now. blease brain.

 

Spoiler: genshin 4.1 stream

PUSSY FROM A MAN NAMED NEUVILLETTE

 

NEUV TEASER OOOUOOUGHHGHGHHH

 

i got petz 5 working on my computer and i am creating new, evil shaped dogs