I just want there to be aliens with slug genitals. The sex needs to be messy. There must be mucous and also probably blood due to the whole love dart thing. This is in fact how I imagine troll sex in Hometuck. And I wish that there were more people who shared my vision of trolls with slug dong. And everyone gets slug cock. All the trolls. Kanaya has one. Eridan has one. SLUG COCK ALL DAY EVERY DAY. We also need more slug aliens.
Yeah I want that to happen too. I mean maybe the trolls don't bite them off per se but they do cut them off. Due to the whole "Fuck or die" things Alternians have going on the bulges getting stuck together is a fear for many. Either because they won't be able to do it the next time the drones come along or because the drone will decide that things are taking too long and kill them anyway. This has resulted in there being a dick has to be cut off fetish for some. And there are dickless renegades who try and hide from the government.
Whatever the creatures are called from Egan's Orthogonal trilogy. Partial shapeshifters (torsos apparently fixed, but shape + number of limbs + lumps on skin adjustable). Of particular interest is how they use their control of the lumps/folds on their skin to communicate, either by slathering themselves with ink and pressing paper to themselves, or by pressing up against someone else and letting them feel the contours. Spoiler: Body horror Instead of handcuffs they bond arrestee's limbs together, since they can later unbond them and the arrestee can absorb and reextrude them later. The main character gets turned into a torus for a while. The sex is weird and heavily affects how the society is built. Spoiler: More body horror Child-birth is immediately triggered by what we would recognize as sex and is always fatal, with the female's flesh splitting itself to form four children, two male and two female (and thus killing her, or at least ending her personality). The male in the procedure simultaneously floods with hormones telling him to take care of the resulting children. Age increases the chance that a female will spontaneously split, even with no partner. This leads to a heavily sexually-differentiated society, and all sorts of cultural myths as to what it means that the female's body becomes the flesh of the four children, what it means to inherit and so on. A particularly thorny issue is whether it's worth it to educate females given that they'll inevitably die giving birth. Spoiler In later books they figure out how to have females give birth to only one offspring, thus allowing her to live through the procedure. Cue major social upheaval, blackmail, coercion, attempts to kill the scientists involved, self-experimentation, etc. Lots of fun. Particularly interesting assertion made during the uproar: if females can give birth and live through the procedure, thus allowing them to raise their own children, males become useless and will go extinct. There's also a bunch of other strange things about them, but that's mostly because the physics in their universe is very different from ours. The series is really just Egan wanting to show off the research he did into those physical laws, bound roughly into a story.
Oh man Aria is hot, Garrus's voice is fantastic, Tali is adorable and her voice is great too why cant i romance her as fem!Shep. ...I might be bad at this most thing. Seconding hermaphrodite trolls. My theory is that sex in trolls was determined by secondary sex characteristics rather than primary. Also nooks and breasts are left over from before trolls and mother grubs were symbiotic.
I personally like the setup where all trolls are male, the mother grub is the female of the species, and there's some sort of sperm-sperm genetic recombination during sex. Or a three-sex species.
I think of them as coming in three types. You have the mother grub who is the only female from a sexual standpoint. Then you have workers who provide material which are trolls as we know them. And then you have workers who collect said material and do other various jobs which are the drones. But everyone has slug dongs. And cut them off at times. Maybe they eat them ritualistically as a sort of "Whelp we're fucked" motion. Ok yeah some trolls definitely eat the hacked off dicks.
hahahaha For a while I was really fond of troll gender being determined by lusus sex-- they match their lusii, not the other way around-- because for one thing it's a really interesting idea to have a species where individuals' development was bound to the hormones present in their caretakers. It also means that the trolls' development would be different depending on the species they were raised by. (IDK how a female spider's hormones differs from a tentacle monster's differs from a lioness', but because of those differences, Nepeta and Feferi and Vriska could have wildly divergent development patterns, but still all be girls, you know? And trolls like Signless and Terezi-- who had a troll lusus and a literal egg-- would be baseline unaltered trolls, because of the lack of outside hormones in their development.) At least 40% of this was because I was like "wait so I can have Equius with tits, right? Because of estrogen from all that milk he drinks?" and I was happy and all was well.
Garrus Vakarian is my space catbirddino husband. Oh my god though. Aliens. Alien sex. Yes. Ovipositors? Sign me up. Fluid collection? Sign me up. Mouth babies? Heck yeah. Weird bug dicks that you need to get creative with because there's no orifice it'll fit in on you? hhhh. Aliens who can communicate on frequencies that we can't understand, and only feel as vibration, warbling poetry against sensitive spots. Just. Aliens. Yes.
Oh! I forgot about the micros from Children's Star and Brain Plague by Joan Slonczewski. Single-celled intelligences, live about a thousand times faster than a human. Communicate by flashing lights and emitting chemicals. Can perform hormone therapy/geneshaping. Can be trained to live inside human arachnoids and view their hosts as gods. Can also take over the dopamine glands and run their hosts as machines that need to eat on occasion. Highly dependent on arsenic. Spoiler Some of them are terrible pervs (by their standards.) One of them commissioned a human to make them kinky human-sized pornography.
Half the fun in mass effect is the Rachni. I love how weird that species is. As for who is more smoochable: have you even seen Garrus Vakarian? His weird mouth thing is so cute. Tali is also the cutest thing on the Galaxy and I'm bitter I can't romance her with femshep. Oh, and I really want to watch Elcor Hamlet. Thane is completely unsmoochable tho. I can't stop seeing handsome squidward when I look at him and that sorta ruins the mood. I'm so down with the tentabulge-for-all, gender-influenced-by-lusi headcanon for homestuck trolls.
The fact that I can't fuck Wrex is the greatest crime against me even greater than not being able to get my legit copy of Mass Effect working and thus being forced to pirate the game I paid for. THE GREATEST CRIME. EVEN GREATER THAN REMOVING THE MAKO OR THE ENDING.
Wrex totally should be one of the unromanced Shepard sex options for the Citadel party, at least. Just like Javik. I am kinda disappointed about the Asari, tho. I thought I'd be super into Liara because holy shit, a blue girlfriend, sign me up to become a parody of myself, but in the end she's very... Bland.
Yes. I just want to fuck that bastard. Aaaaaaah. Also Liara is my favorite character. I love her a lot. I guess she is kind of bland I guess but I am very fond of her? Or at least people say she is. She doesn't feel that way to me but then maybe I am too amused by "Hey baby you wanna touch my beacon" jokes. Mary Shepard. Space Jesus and bad pick up lines master.
I like Liara as a character, but something puts me off of her romance in ME1. I joke it's the sharpie eyebrows. Honestly, I think all ME romances are way too short, and when you take that and take in consideration how young/inexperienced she is in the first game, idk. It's cute, I've done her route, and I can't really complain about blandness when I'm still romancing kaidan fucking alenko well into ME3.
Ugh aliens yes. Mass Effect: Tali. Somewhere I had gotten the impression that all of the romance options in the games disregarded player gender (and also I played 2 first because it was the one the bf had on his desktop so I could see if I liked it without dumping money) so I was so upset that I went down the romance path with my femshep with her and NOTHING HAPPENED. Garrus is a close runner up. My favorite trope is aliens with a culture that superficially looks like an earth culture but has deep differences, because cultureshock yes. Especially the kinds of cultural mixup and missteps that lead in romance novel trope directions, but also the ones that really make you think about cultural norms. I'm also super into aliens that don't necessarily communicate with mouth noises, and how interplanetary societies deal with that issue. Least favorite: monolithic alien cultures. Or alien culture that's just a pasted on version of an Earth culture.
Ahaha just read the second page of this thread and I'm glad I'm not alone in the bitterness about lack of Tali in fem!Shep's life. And ALIEN SEX OMG HOW COULD I FORGET TO MENTION THAT. I read this novel at some point where aliens that we called 'succubi' reproduced by sticking an ovipositor down the throat of a likely character and then the kid would do the classic chestburster deal, although they came out appearing as human babies. And only modern medical tech allowed this to no longer be fatal but the kids of these unions suffered a ton of prejudice and also reproduced the same way. Anyway their arousal process involved copious drooling and talking being difficult as the throat muscles relaxed, and the saliva had I think some psychotropic in it? And the erogenous zones were all in the neck. Probably my favorite alien sex so far. It was pretty formative for me.
During the citadel dlc I was so completely in love with Tali. Is there anything cuter than her talking about sushi?? Beyond. Tali talking about basically anything else.
