Also, given how fast these meta threads can go, would there be benefit in putting it in tchgb to try to maintain a more tractable pace? I don't have strong opinions either way, I just know these things can amass pages overnight, and it can be easy for points to get buried.
thanks - the rest of your post helped a lot, but, yes - i can also go off an weird, seemingly unrelated tangents pretty easily, so i get not always staying on topic. the direct acknowledgement helps a lot for me feeling listened to - it felt a lot like you were using my posts to prop up arguments against things i hadn't said, and because you were using my arguments (or at least my posts as the starting point), it then also felt like you were implying that i was arguing for those things i think i am still quite upset about the way you took "i feel like the forum is experiencing a lot of compassion burnout" to go "that's a great problem to have instead of [thing i'll accept as related but was not in the scope of what i was talking about]" i reached out to alix recently to try and debug things and help with getting her to mainland france because she'd basically run off everyone who'd been interested in doing that work, i've been trying to be more active on kintsugi, and since i'd resigned myself at this point to her always being a feature here, it felt like my choices were "pour some amount of effort into helping alix" or "leave" and that was what i was trying to talk around when i brought up compassion fatigue and burnout - and it was incredibly dismissive to instead turn around, call it a good thing, and use it to bludgeon something i wasn't advocating for. it's not 1:1 but it felt weirdly similar to how my grandma and father pressure and harass me to ease up on my general refusal to be one-on-one with my mother - less, i think, in the exact circumstances, and more in how they talk about my defense for why i won't and how you responded to my comments about compassion fatigue i think your outlining of "i agree with X, but not X+2 and want to make clear that X+2 is not something i agree with" (paraphrasing here) is probably what happened there, and i don't even disagree with reiterating that X+2 is still not a position you hold - but i think maybe more emphasis on acknowledging X, that you've changed your mind and agree with X (even if you don't have a grand plan going forward for that) would've gone a long way for not making that feels so.... dirty and awful, i guess i don't know that there's a coherent point to the end of this, more just trying to get my thoughts in order as to why i was so so so upset last night
that is totally legit, i was indeed responding to things you weren't saying in some cases. not because i didn't understand you, i think, but just because i'm distracted.
Since it's come up in a couple places now: to be absolutely clear, this screenshot was provided by me, since I was in Alix's server at the time. It was understood - and I've checked with Alix that this is true - that I would probably give modchat a heads up if stuff on her server made me think there was something they should know. This wasn't a sudden betrayal of an expectation of confidentiality.
