All Aboard the Floating Dumpster: Trash Ships Ahoy

There’s a certain pairing that I don’t ship because gnnnnhhhhhhh but...

The logical, horrible interpretation of these characters’ relationship? I honestly wish that there was fic of it. Like, good-quality fic, where it’s presented exactly for what it is. I can like awful things when they aren’t romanticized, but all the content that exists for this pairing portrays it as sweet and harmless, which...no. No, no, no. Only in an AU and even then it’s dicey.

It’s fucked up. Write about it being fucked up if you’re going to write it you cowards!

 

Count Dracula -> Jonathan Harker is canon and no one in the world will convince me otherwise.

 

I would never ever ever write a gay character as straight, but I can't help wanting to bounce some of them off some characters of the opposite sex. Guess Tumblr would accept it if I make the opposite-sex character not cis?

 

That depends on what you mean by "bounce off of", I suppose. Because that could easily swing the other way and get you into 'how dare you not view these characters as their gender' zone in certain sections of tumblr.

 

I dont see any problem with shipping them cis or even just playing around and experimenting, its just fiction. Write what you want!

Although trans headcanons arent bad either, if it makes you happy.

Of course my opinion may be invalid considering i ship almost exclusively stuff thatd get me on many shitlists on tumblr -_-

 

I mean like "see what it'd be like if these two dated".

 

Okay, I'm just posting in here because the Gundam Seed tumblr fandom is like a black hole of ship wars and opinions I don't agree with so I can't post it there, but in a brief reawakening of feelings about the fandom, I slowly realized that there actually is a lot of potential in writing Kira/Fllay as the screwed-up disaster it is:

Warnings for relationship abuse, emotional manipulation, dubious consent, discussion of trauma, and fantasy racism; also show spoilers

Spoiler

SeeD itself is a soap opera but Kira and Fllay's relationship wasn't actually badly done in terms of portraying how very badly screwed up all of the kids were by all of this. We see Fllay in the first episode as nice, if maybe a little "stereotypically pretty and popular." By midseason she's lost her home and father violently and traumatically, and picked up extremist views that, as far as her friends seem to know, are very new and caused by the trauma. Also she's slowly moving toward her eventual plan of dumping her current boyfriend in favor of gaining additional physical and emotional security via seducing the ship's robot pilot into being more eager in his role. Despite the fact that her shiny new extremist views cast him as an abomination against nature (mostly because he's the same fantasy race that killed her father). Said pilot, Kira, was a civilian computer science student until he accidentally upgraded a robot to the point where no one else could pilot the dang thing and ended up on the side of the war that is mostly made up of normal humans (as opposed to his fantasy race). One of the enemy pilots is his childhood friend, he's had to kill people, people keep being suspicious of him because he isn't human, and he isn't holding up well under the stress. Also he had a crush on Fllay before all of this, so the seducing works like a charm, even with her occasionally complaining about his fantasy race to his face. When they sleep together, it's because Kira has a stress breakdown and yells at Fllay's boyfriend when he confronts him about how much time the two of them have been spending together, and then Fllay steps in to comfort him. They're both using each other as emotional crutches, in different ways.

Fllay eventually gets captured by the enemy, and more or less scared straight by their commander (she's a bit unhinged, but she has nothing on Rau Le Cruset; he falls into the 'some people like to watch the world burn' category of evil). He then sends her out in an unarmed escape pod during a battle so she'll die and it will upset Kira. They have a touching reconciliation that may or may not only occur in Kira's head after the pod explodes.

Point is, Kira's relationship with Fllay was abusive. There's a lot we don't know in canon, notably how aware of the fact that he was being used Kira was, but it was a thing and I never see it written about or discussed. I'd like to. It was interesting. The relationship told us a lot about those characters and the world and the stresses they were under. As much as I like the healthier relationships in the series, there's something extremely interesting about this one, too.

 

I'm honestly kind of surprised to hear that it's not talked about because that aspect of the show is what I remember most about it. Like it's pretty starkly in your fucking face about it. It was weird to see as a kid when the show was airing in the US and it just happened to stick with me. A lot. SeeD isn't my favorite thing and I think it's a bit of a mess but I did like that bit of it quite a bit.

 

Yeah, I was hoping. But the fic is still all either "everyone is happy and functional AUs" or "Fllay is the actual devil and her motivations don't matter" type fics. The tumblr tag is full of "Fllay is my waifu" stuff which is not conducive to the kind of in-depth meta I crave in my soul.

SeeD was absolutely a trainwreck but it was at times a very fun one with legitimate points. Also since Seed Destiny was my first Gundam it's got nostalgia value for me, heh.

 

A friend of mine is watching Fate/Zero and has dubbed Gil/Kirei "the Great Pacific Garbage Patch."

 

clark/lex from smallville was one of the ships on the Evil Ships List and it is my smallville otp!

it's been a while since i watched smallville but i will ship that superman with that billionaire villain for-fucking-ever!

and in aus in which it turns out fluffy and no one turns to the dark side too!

also, clark kent in that series never looked like a teenager to me. like, he and lex also parsed to my brain as the same age, even though they weren't supposed to be.

and i think clark's actor was an adult the entire time he played clark kent too.

 

Anything with either of those two is Maximum Trash
It's great

 

tfw you misread that as fieth/zero and were like the fuck they aren't unhealthy trash ship i will fucking fight you

 

Chahut and Amisia's interactions are adorable and I want more content with them, but the circumstance is pretty fucked up. Amisia is now confirmed to be a young-ish child and Chahut is, at the point of the Friendsims, a couple of months away from being a legal adult. They're canonically pale, or rather heading that way but not official, but adult/child pale relationships could turn out either cute in the vein of Goodnight Mr Tom or as... well, as people here are likely to know firsthand, how does it usually turn out when a child is given the sole responsibility for an adult's wellbeing, even when that adult is not a literal axe-murderer? Especially since in Azdaja's route he refuses any comfort because he's pale for someone else, so they could really end up the only one responsible for the adult. No one is going to explore how beautifully fucked-up that could be! Or how pale relationships in general could be, as seen in this thread.

Spoiler: transcript, friendsim spoilers

My response to this was further potential horror:

 

BBC Sherlock isn't a good adaptation, and I'm still pissed off about what it did to the general fandom perception of Sherlock Holmes's character, but god, that Sherlock and John's relationship is just so fascinatingly fucked up. All the more so because it wasn't intentional on the part of the show creators. The way that Sherlock manipulates John into staying by almost giving him the emotional connection he longs for, using tiny little kindnesses to keep him from leaving in the face of the constant emotional abuse (which only gets worse as the series progresses as far as I can remember, though I haven't watched in ages). the multiple times that John almost decides hes had enough, but can never quite bring himself to disentangle from the force of nature that is Sherlock Holmes.

And I'm pretty sure that the reason why Sherlock does these things he does is because he was much more isolated and emotionally abused in his childhood than other Holmeses, and never learned how to understand and interact with other people until much later in life. And unlike other Holmeses, he didn't think it was worth his time to learn how healthy relationships work. So when he meets John and to his shock actually begins to care about him, he has no idea how to keep him close other than through emotional manipulation, because the only kind of relationship he learned about as a child was the kind maintained by emotional mind games. And meanwhile John is busy falling head-over-heels for the idea of this impossibly brilliant man who's made him feel alive for the first time since Afghanistan, and so they take a running leap into codependency. And as the series progresses and the many ways in which Sherlock is neither able nor willing to be a partner in any kind of healthy relationship become apparent, the manipulation increases, because it needs to in order for Sherlock to keep John by his side.

They're a complete clusterfuck and I love to think about how horrified every other iteration of Holmes and Watson would be at their relationship.

 

im reading discworld books less chaotically than I did in middle school and like I can see why teen me was too repressed to admit that (I still kind of feel like im committing a sacrilege but its my whole shtick nowadays) but vetinari/vimes real. the whole manipulation-caretaking-vulnerability-fascination-understanding thing is just... massively homoerotic and so are the actual canon storylines

 

I really like the comfy hc where vetinari/vimes and sybil/vimes is a functional poly (in which Vimes Gets Away With Nothing, Except The Things He's Mercifully (And Lovingly) Allowed To Get Away With) but as a standalone ship I just! keep making it weird!! look... there are so many ways for them to have nasty dubcon sex or angry violent sex (they're both, like, made to be smacked against the wall a few times, what's up with that)

 

I'm at war with myself over that pairing/trio, because to me any Discworld shipfic feels categorically Really Weird but... it's a good ship

 

treat yourself

 

I personally solved that by accepting that most things I enjoy are Really Weird and in some way a blight upon humanity so a bit more blight upon humanity (and there's like really good fanart) is probably ok