how do I see a doctor for an inability to keep appointments when the thing that is happening is that I cannot keep appointments it's not that I'm super sick and dying or anything I just. it feels like one moment I'm just living life and I have nothing to do that day and the next moment I've missed some major appointment or deadline to whose existence I was inexplicably oblivious there is probably something I'm supposed to be doing now! but fuck if I know what it is! this post brought to you by the realization that I apparently was scheduled for an ADHD screening appointment two weeks ago and I only just found out about it (eta: as in I only just found out that the appointment happened 2 weeks ago and I wasn't there.)
That sucks a lot, i hate missing appointments Can you ask your doctor to give you a reminder call or text the day before? As well, this only really works once it ia a habit. Idek how I stuck with it starting with my college classes, and continuing to just do it (i am also adhd, i know "just remember to do it" is complete nonsense, sorry) Put all appointments in your phone calendar, immediately as soon as you are standing in front of the appointment-scheduling person. Like, right then and there, and if you want to set a reminder alarm there is usually a function for that. If you can, also like put a calendar widget on your phones home screen or another screen you often look at, so you are forced to see it this is what works for me, but i still rely on the various doctors giving me reminder calls and texts. Also, if there is someone with a better memory who agrees to help you out, they can also be a reminder person Edit: for example this is my calendar for next March. Some of these are probably listed as a few minutes earlier than they really are, so I trick myself into showing up a few minutes early
it just... disappears from my brain I have no idea how to go about putting it back in nothing seems to supplement my memory, I either remember it or I don't and if I don't nothing can make me remember it. unless I force myself to store it as a trauma memory but that... uh, that doesn't help matters long term Spoiler: suicidality I want to fucking die I hate living like this
Big fucking mood!! I appear to be only motivated to change through fear myself. But I also know it’s a problem in the motivation, that is, my ability to be motivated is broken. There is a snapped wire in my brain, not a lack of electric impulse, but unfortunately, only strong enough charges leap across the break. With this in mind I literally scream, loudly, about what I have to do, or sing about it, so it’s a little more memorable. Or good ol writing it in sharpie on my arm, high-up, so it doesn’t wash off fast. Foolproof? No. More stimulating? Yes. Helpful? A good percentage of the time. Will I remember mentally telling myself to put fucking gas in the car? Maybe not. Will I remember rolling down a window, letting in the unsettlingly cold highway breeze, and bellowing “PUT FUCKING GAS IN THE CAR, STERNE!!” into the unknown? Damn, maybe.
I’m trying to convey... what if we could isolate the strength of trauma memories without using the traumatic elements and use them in our favor? It’s a weird thought but I just realized that’s what I’ve been doing. I hate the elements of shouting, cold, and driving but I personally use them in a safe way so that it’s absurd and funny but those things are still memorable.
Do you tend to have more memory problems when you’re stressed? Are you more likely to miss appointments if you’re ambivalent or have a lot riding on them? If so, you could probably tell a mental health professional at least that you may be having an interaction between ADHD and anxiety, and the situation is so crippling that you are functionally unable to keep appointments because of how badly it’s interfering with your memory. If not, you could probably say almost exactly the same thing but just about how the ADHD symptoms are so crippling, etc. This isn’t an emergency room emergency, but you’re currently profoundly unable to function, and that is a serious problem that deserves medical attention. I don’t think it’ll be this hard forever. You’ve already been taking steps to make it easier to meet your basic needs. It may take a while, but things like dehydration, exhaustion, pain, or hunger make it much, much harder to function cognitively. Addressing any of those that you may be having problems with, even if you can only improve the situation a little, can do amazing things for your ability to think clearly, and even your mood. Self care certainly won’t cure ADHD or mental illness, but it can give you far more resources for working with them and just living your life.
