April's Brain Journal

went to the store and got some pizza; i then promptly lost my goddamn mind and bought a bunch of strawberries, a couple avocados, some red bananas, and a couple plantains to try cooking later.

the red bananas are so good and stimmy to eat i immediately scarfed down three, Christ

also got some cottage cheese! makes for good low-spoons crash recovery if you slap it on some whole grain bread and eat it like a burrito, i'm gonna try doing that more in the mornings first thing

 

ABUSIVE EX-LANDLORD IS SO INCREDIBLY FUCKED AT THIS POINT AND WATCHING HIM DOUBLE DOWN AND KEEP DIGGING IS FRANKLY FUCKING HILARIOUS HOW WAS I EVER SCARED OF THIS GUY

 

Spoiler: tmi, nsfw

TFW YOU GOTTA LEAVE FOR WORK SOON BUT YOU'RE HORNY AS SHIT FOR NO APPARENT REASON

BODY PLS STOP PULLING THIS I DO NOT HAVE TIME TO JERK OFF RN

 

note to self: gonna start trying to manage my caffeine intake a little more, no coffee after 7pm and an actual, measurable amount each day as close to the same time as i can get it, no more Chugging Like Two and a Half Cups' Worth When I'm Bored and Want Something Sweet

 

like, caffeine helps a lot! a lot! but it's a drug, and you don't cram, like. depression meds in your face at random times of day and on some days and not others if you're using it for medicinal effects and don't want Bad Results. i've been really irresponsible with caffeine and it's been kicking my ass, and i think i'm gonna try to do better.

 

MMMMMM I KIND OF WANT TO START A BOOKBLOGGING THREAD BUT IDK I FEEL KINDA VAIN MAKING A WHOLE THREAD JUST FOR MYSELF TO BITCH ABOUT TERRIBLE BOOKS IN MMMMMMMMMM

omfg tho i picked up this one book again to conserve phone battery because i left my charger at rowan's house and it's a combination of interesting ideas, terrible pacing, and wtf worldbuilding

i kinda want to liveblog it and see how it goes but nmmmnnnmmmmmnnn i don't wanna clog up this thread with it and i am shy about putting a thread in fantown nnnnmmmmmmnnnnmmmmmm

 

oh no i'm so sorry you forgot your charger, do you want me to bring it to you when you get off work?

 

nah dude you're good!! i can just bum an extra charger off elise and kevin tonight and tomorrow, i'mma be seeing you again before too long anyway (although you're welcome to come over if you want! there is a babby wilde over tho, not sure how long for eheheh)

 

benzyl peroxide: cleans your face real good

benzyl peroxide: BURNS LIKE A FUCKING SON OF A BITCH, APPARENTLY

 

ohhhh my god i'm a dumbass, it is me

i wonder if i can still return this because iiiii don't think it's gonna work good for me, ow

 

oh no D:

aughhhh that stuff always fucks my skin up real bad :'C you might wanna try for some gentler stuff

 

probably yeah, rest in pieces me :'C

this... gives some more context to why i hated showers so much for so long. my mom would always get me this stuff because i had Acne Problems from not showering enough (depression and neglect, oo-rah), and she.... apparently thought getting me ridiculously strong facewash that burned like hell would make up for not washing my face often enough, when. not doing it regularly was. the problem. welp. .____.

 

nooooooo oh my god nooooo

that is not going to help. you have to pick your soap to match your skin. and if you have even remotely sensitive skin, this shit could cause literal burns

like. this stuff can fuck up your skin real hard if ur not careful and often they say you gotta lotion afterwards cuz it fucking wrecks your poor skin

 

my brain is screaming for no apparent reason and also yelling to click several hundred baby dragons in a queue so i think i am going to do that and see if it helps

dailydragonfix is relaxing as Hell

 

ye, i am learning this at long last :C thankfully lotioning up heavily last night seemed to help a lot!

 

oh good! glad lotion helped

 

man i swear to god every time i'm Pretty Sure I Am/Am Not Autistic something throws a spanner into it, and usually Numerous somethings

i don't know if 'kinda on the autistic side of the adhd spectrum' is... quite a valid concept, but it sums up how i feel about it fairly well

(alternately, 'adhd pizza with left autism')

(who knows man)

 

man, this week has been extremely weird and time-distorted and liminal since i haven't been able to use internet outside the house. glad i pushed myself out of the house to go to the store anyway, though, i'm gonna clean and do cooking adventures tonight and i have the next two days off. looking up a little bit. c:

 

agh. liminal time fuckery dissociation is back. THINGS TO DO TONIGHT TIME

- put stuffed mushrooms in the oven. i'm gonna want those soon--actually yeah i'm gonna go do that hold on

 

okay mushrooms in the oven, dun diddit

now gotta. take one old food thing of mine out of the fridge every time i get up. okay.