ask anything about DID

Actually, a couple people I've talked to have been like "I'd like to meet a factive of me!!" but I personally think it'd be weird. Meeting other mes sounds weird.

Ooooh. Real Person Fic, okay, that makes sense. And yes, these are the dangers of real people fics.

 

ironically, you're one of the few people that could actually meet another you, theoretically, at least :P

 

I know, and I don't want to. It'd be weird. Too weird. Way too weird for everyone involved.

 

Question: When you first formed, how did you "know" that you were Gavin Free (or at least a version of him)? Did you have memories, or did you just "know" that that was who you were?

 

....Both, actually? I just "knew" I was Gavin Free, but I also had memories of being a bird hybrid with, well, the name Gavin Free.

 

So, did you have knowledge of Gavin Free the internet personality, or solely of the life of the bird hybrid version? Or both? Or memories of only one but also knowledge of the other?

 

I think part of the thing about wanting to meet a factive of yourself may be involved with the way you interact with your own identity? like, I don't have a very strong sense of self-identity, I think. I have a cohesive set of beliefs that more or less dictate my actions, I'm pretty sure, but I don't think they constitute an identity, necessarily. and if you asked me about my personality I'd have very little idea what to say. it's part of the reason why I ask people how I seem to them a lot; I'm curious about it because I don't know how I am. so getting to meet a copy of me would let me study myself in the same way I study other people, and I think gaining that kind of insight'd be pretty cool! also it might help me with self-sympathy, I think, which is something I struggle with.

 

I only had memories and knowledge of the bird hybrid version of Gavin Free. Imagine my surprise when I showed up and everyone went "Gavin??" like they already knew who I was.

Huh, that's an interesting way of looking at it. Personally I just think it'd be really weird. I wouldn't want to know another me, it'd disturb my identity too much.

 

yeah, it would be, at least kinda. which isn't really something most people think about, when they think about meeting other versions of them, since it isn't a thing they consider possible. that gives them distance from it, i think. a sense of "the world isn't even the right genre for this to be a thing in." and since they relegate it to sci-fi and fantasy, they never really worry about it.

and that too:

 

I'm assuming that seeing as you know a lot of things about how the world works, like the English language etc, you had a lot of basic knowledge carry over from Cedar, just no specific memories... Sorta like with amnesia, which would make sense. I wonder, does "a YouTube personality exists" come under the banner of memory or imbibed knowledge... Perhaps both, to an extent?

 

I think it comes under the banner of both, honestly? But when a fictive alter's made, we only get pretty basic knowledge of our life and anything relevant to it; for instance, if it's not relevant for the alter to know about Minecraft, then they won't know what Minecraft is until introduced to it firsthand. So because there wouldn't have been a second Gavin Free where I was from, it wasn't relevant information to my life.

 

I'd be interested in meeting a factive of me not because of what they could show me about myself but of what they could show me about how other people perceive me. Because they wouldn't be me, they'd rather be a precise personality portrait of how I was perceived by the mind in question, which would be super fascinating to me. I always wanna know what I seem like to people :P

 

Can I complain? It's not DID-related, but this is like, the only thread I can talk in, so.

 

yeah

 

All right, well....
I just randomly got homesick, and I don't even know why, and it's for a place that doesn't even exist, and that I hated, and it's total bullshit!
There, I'm good.

 

I must Scream

THIS IS WHY I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH PEOPLE WHO FAKE THIS SHIT
YOU GIVE PEOPLE THE WRONG IDEA
BEING MULTIPLE ISN'T A FUCKING 'SPIRITUAL' THING!! IT'S NOT SOMETHING I CAN HELP! AND THE FACT THAT MY BRAIN MADE AN IMPRINT OF A REAL PERSON IS NOT. MY. FAULT!

 

Until today, I absolutely thought "factive" was a synonym for factkin and "fictive" was a synonym for fickin. I had no idea that DID brains created imprints of pre-existing personas.

 

yeah, they do. the most common type is an abuser introject--also known as a persecutor. they show up as a copy of the abuser, to try and keep the system and everyone in it 'in line' according to the abuser's perceived ideals, and to try and prevent further abuse by keeping the system and everyone in it in line according to what the abuser seems to want. naturally, this doesn't really work, because the abuser will usually just find something else to be abusive over, but it's a sort of self-preservation thing. there are other types of factual introjects, though, like Gavin, and a lot of them tend to be celebrities or people who really helped the person through a hard time, whether personally or from a distance (i.e. a celebrity whose videos helped the person vs. a friend who helped the person, either could end up a factual introject).

 

Jeezus. Having an imprint of one's abuser living in one's head must add a whole nother level of stress to the DID experience. Sounds terrifying.

 

oh, it definitely can be. and I'm very, very, very, like, infinitely glad that I don't have an imprint of my abuser. like, thank my fucking lucky stars, dodged a freaking BULLET there.