ask anything about DID

stealing this thread to observe a thing: I've seen other people claiming to be systems posting about not being sure who's fronting, but to my knowledge, that's never happened to us. it's usually pretty clear who's fronting--we all know who we are and we know when we're in control. or at least, I know when I'm in control, and I'm assuming the same goes for the others, so I kind of question how people within a system could be uncertain of who's fronting? it puzzles me.
additional note: I have gotten some of the other alters on board about integration!!

 

so I read a thing today that says a study done showed most systems start with 2-4 alters. which...this system here started with 6, but close enough.
and then, during the course of therapy, 13-15 more alters are discovered or reveal themselves.
we have found 4 alters so far, and I don't think I can take the idea of 9-11 more alters hiding out somewhere. my head is crowded enough, thanks. please let us not be a typical system...

 

thing I don't understand: system names. what does this achieve? what's the point? how do you get everyone to agree on one thing?? why do some systems insist on being referred to by the system name rather than individual names? isn't part of the point that you're all individuals and not some hive mind?
....guess what, we're all officially the spark system now, you must all refer to us collectively as 'the spark system', nothing else will be accepted
......sorry, I'm just...frustrated. been browsing the DID tags trying to find some more experienced systems....so far, nothing.

 

Well, I guess if you need to talk about a system as a whole, it could be better than listing everyone's names? But idk, I'm not sure when that would have to happen.

 

I'm a little curious what the point is of finding undiscovered alters. It sounds like it makes the situation needlessly complicated, especially if you're trying to do a 'hey guys let's integrate' thing. Surely dealing with fewer active voices would be better, and then revealing undiscovered ones after integration with the first bunch has happened?

For the record, this is from reading your other thread, but I guess the overall question is how does finding more alters on purpose benefit you? I am curious what your shrink's reasoning is, here.

 

I'm pretty sure the point is that it sounds cool. Something like the 'spark system' sounds far more epic that 'Janey and her various alters'. I'm not accusing anyone of being a fake, I'm pretty sure that a person with real alters can at the same time be a silly kid who's desperate to sound cool.

 

well, the idea is that it's better to integrate everyone once everyone has been found, rather than spend years working through the trauma of a few alters, integrate them, and then have another alter suddenly pop up and then you have to start the process all over again. plus, some alters might be dependent on other alters. for instance, if there were a secret-keeper alter, we might need to know about them in order to help the trauma holder alters deal with their trauma and know when the right time is to reveal it. otherwise bad things could happen, like a trauma alter sharing things that the rest of us aren't ready for and just creating more trauma.

true. it just frustrates me because literally nothing about this is cool. it's awful. why would I want to make it sound cool.

 

How do you know whether there are more alters to be found?

I would be concerned that, in searching for more alters, you might inadvertently instigate or "create" ones that aren't already there, simply through the act of prying away trying to "uncover" them. I'm not sure if that's a concern that has any basis in how these things actually work but it's what I'd wonder anyway, especially seeing as it seems to be a bit of a mystery exactly how alters form from what I've heard.

I guess what I'm asking is, how do you know that these are "newly discovered" alters, and not just "new" alters, if there was no sign of them previously? If that makes sense aha

 

Yeah, with all this talk about DID possibly being iatrogenic (Not that it wouldn't be valid if it was, and it doesn't fit your situation anyway as you had the symptoms before talking to a therapist about them), I'd also be concerned about that.

 

It might possibly be either trying to have some kind of unity. Like, if they can´t be one personality, at least they can be a team with a name for all of them.

Or they might not want to identify one personality as the original. (Which I don´t know if that´s healthy or not, but seems like a conclusion someone might come to.)

I do have an actual question as well. Will integration change your personality as the features of the alters get added, or do the alters personalities just kind of go away?

 

honestly, I don't know, but....well, alters form for a reason. you can't just make a new alter because you want to or because you think there's more alters. an alter only forms when there's severe stress or trauma happening that the other alters can't handle. for instance, most of my alters hold trauma memories, and each alter is allocated a certain set of memories, because one alter can't handle all that trauma by themselves. additionally, you don't really....go looking or poking around for alters, trying to force them to show themselves. it's more along the lines of....say there's a large gap in my memory. usually that means an alter. so, first I'd check around to see if any of my current alters have those memories. if they don't, then I'd try and do things that would bring up those memories--which would in turn bring up the existing alter, if there was one, and usually it forces them into front for a bit. and for the most part, the found alters have been found....accidentally. Blue was discovered when I decided to curl up in ball on the therapist's couch and try to remember something. somehow, this forced her to the front, out of dormancy. but the bottom line is that every alter forms from stress or trauma. they have to. one event can spawn multiple alters, but each alter forms from stress or trauma, there's no other way for an alter to form. so I'm not overly concerned about an alter forming because I go looking for more alters.

integration typically changes the personality of the person the alters are being added to, but usually only minimally.

 

Uhhhh....hey. Sup. I'm Yang. Alex mentioned we could talk in very specifically this thread if we wanted to chat with people. Alex isn't really here right now, and I'm a pretty chatty person, so I thought I'd say hi.

 

Hi, Yang! Glad to meet you.

 

Yeah, you too! Um....palindromordnilap? Did I get that right? Where'd that username come from, palindrome? I....wait. It is a palindrome! Huh. Pretty sweet. How'd you come up with it?

 

It's shamelessly stolen from somewhere. :P
My name's Alix, by the way. (Which is surprisingly not related to "Alex".)
(Speaking of Alexes, they've been trying out a new name on this forum recently, so if I talk about them, I'll try to call them Cedar.)

 

Hehe. Nice.
Cool. I'll try to remember that, Alix. What's it related to, if not Alex?
Oh, crap, that's right! They told us about the new name thing, it's just I'm not the greatest with remembering stuff. We've pretty much all got ADHD, so our memories all tend to be...faulty at times. Kailani's the best of us, but then she's like, suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuper organized. Crazy organized. Scary organized.

 

It's a gender-neutral (kinda, it started out as a girl's name) form of Alice, which I always kinda liked as a name, so when I found out "Alix" was a thing, I chose that.
Don't worry, I understand, even I mess up my own name sometimes. ^^

 

Huh, cool!
Nice. I imagine I'd do that too, if I hadn't had the same name my entire life. But I do have a tendency to forget how old I am. And the names of those around me, and their ages... Luckily Cedar and Kailani have this big old list of basic details of everyone in the system so I can always look at that.

 

Oh hey Yang!
Out of curiosity did you get the name from the RWBY character or somewhere else?

 

hi yang!

what is being an alter like? or, i guess, to put in terms that aren't like asking a fish what swimming is like, what is existing like for you? what is it like to be you?

if any of that even makes sense as an answerable question, of course...