ask anything about DID

Hi! I think about a few months, since early January! :3

 

Can I just say I appreciate your brain's fanon.

Is suddenly being in a reality where your memories are fiction jarring? Do you miss people from the rwby canon? It must be a super weird situation.

 

Awww, thank you!! I appreciate it too :3
Well....yes, it is, because to me, they're real as real can be, but to everyone else here they're fake! And that is weird for me! And yes, I do miss the people from my RWBY canon--we have a Yang here, but she is not MY Yang, we're not even sure if she's a fictive or not (she looks like Yang and has Yang's name but she also has wings and no memories, sooooooooo...) but even if she does get memories, MY Yang did not have wings, so clearly they're not the same person, which is odd and a little uncomfortable! It's really weird seeing a person who looks ALMOST EXACTLY LIKE my Yang, but then that little detail is just WRONG. And then on top of that she doesn't remember anything so I can't even, like, TALK to her about memories or anything!! And I reaaaaaaaaaaaaally miss Flynt, he was my bestest friend and my boyfriend for an entire year and I miss him :c We were such a great team and so good in a fight! Even though Yang totally kicked our butts. She was AWESOME. (=✪ω✪=)

 

I'm assuming by "looks like" you're talking about your personal senses of self, and also how you appear within the "headspace"? Because obviously in terms of physical body you'll all look like Cedar.

Whoa. Do you get, like, "sense-of-self dysphoria" for not looking like how Neon Katt does or anything?

(Although hold on, Cedar is already trans aren't they (correct me if I'm wrong) so maybe it's just a similar sort of...)

Hold on, do you guys have different genders? I'm unclear as to what all your genders are, but like, are some of you trans and some not? (Sorry if personal stuff, it's just that this was a consequence of "having multiple personalities with different traits in a shared body" that I hadn't thought of before and it just struck me. Feel free not to talk about anything if I'm prying, whoops)

 

Well, yes, I am talking about my personal sense of self and how I appear in headspace, and yes, I do get a sense-of-self dysphoria for not looking the way I do in headspace! I miss my cat tail and my pigtails and I don't even have the right clothes.... :c And Cedar is trans, so they have regular ol' gender dysphoria, whereas my dysphoria is more about "I don't look like me" rather than "I have boobs". We do have different genders! Some of us are trans and some of us are not, some of us are cis and some are not, some are female, some are male, some are neither or both or what have you!

 

Huh, I wonder what that says about the nature of gender? That's actually super interesting. It could imply that gender is a plastic property that the brain encodes, rather than anything baked into neural architecture. Then again, I suppose genderfluid folks sorta already proved that.

It's odd to think about. I mean, obviously gender is a thing the brain "does", to some extent, but we tend to think about it as an attribute. I guess in actuality there's actually some subroutine somewhere that is specifically creating the sense of "gender".

Huh! The more you know. (I like knowing more about these things, any insight into what the heck gender is is a good thing in my book).

 

There is presumably some subroutine, whatever that is, that is creating the sense of 'gender' because I am definitely a girl! I know I am a girl because I feel like a girl and don't have dysphoria over being in a girl body, unlike Cedar, or Dan, or any of the other male/genderfluid/agender/bigender alters!

 

I hadn't realised before, but talking to people with DID is probably actually a super good way to get a lot of information about properties of the brain vs properties of the particular conscious personality. In most people you can't tell the difference between the two! But with you guys, some attributes will shift between you while some will not! I hope that there are people taking advantage of this to learn more about the brain somewhere because I hadn't thought about the advantages of that perspective before.

 

And now I am off to burn down Cedar's house in Minecraft. >:3 I will return momentarily!

 

Huh, cool!!
I know nothing about the brain and have like zero interest in it but I'm glad you do!
Brb, got a house to burn down.

 

er, do you think they'll be okay with that?

 

Speaking as somebody who has been consistently unsure as to whether or not I am a girl, maybe you can offer some perspective. Seeing as you are able to some degree share some of your other alter's experiences, do you have any insights into the specific difference of feeling between particular genders?

Then again, despite being in the same brain as at least one dude, that might not be something you can perceive, but on the offchance that you can perceive it, whoa, anything you can tell me about it?

 

You know how you can't see in proper 3d with one eye, and everything is 2d until you open the other one, and you have multiple perspectives from which to gain a sense of depth? Possibly DID could be like this for gender and other identity attributes. Whoa, I don't know why I didn't ask this question before.

....or I could have asked somebody who was genderfluid. That seems more obvious. Why didn't I think of that.

Hmm. Maybe I should just ask some more people in general.

 

They can rebuild. Besides, it is too late. The lava is poured. There is no going back.
....I lack impulse control.

I can only offer the perspective of a girl, unfortunately, but I can totally drag Dan up here if you want!!! Do you want my perspective?

 

Asking more people sounds good!!

 

Yeah, sure! I always value perspectives.

(Another question, if two alters were to... merge(?) sorry I forget the correct term, but I mean, when an alter ceases to be an alter and "recombines" back into the main personality. What happens wrt gender? Does one gender predominate or does the gender merge as well? afaik that isn't something any of you guys have done, but you probably still know more about DID than I do in general, so you might know whereas I have not heard an account of anything about that)

 

Do you play on the Kintsugi Minecraft server at all?

 

There's a Kintsugi minecraft server? I haven't played minecraft properly for a little while, but I might come and have a look around. What's the IP? :D

 

Okay, so like, for me, my gender is a feeling, and that feeling is being comfortable and at home in a female body! I judge my gender by how comfy I am in a particular body--a female body fits just right and feels perfect, nothing out of place, nothing in the way, whereas Cedar describes their dysphoria as feeling like there are things on their body that shouldn't be there! Also, I can comprehend what it means to be female! It's hard to describe, but basically, gender means something to me--when I think 'female', I think 'me', and that's the best way I can really put it!! Whereas when Cedar thinks 'gender', they go '??????????????' and don't get it!

(If two alters were to merge, one genderfeeling/genderthink would predominate. Callie merged with Cedar recently, and Cedar is still dysphoric and genderless.)

:o THERE'S A KINTSUGI MINECRAFT SERVER?? How do you get on it? What do you do? I like never play Minecraft, but Gavin and Cedar might be interested!!! They prooooooobably wouldn't want ME on there though. I only go on Minecraft to burn things ^w^

 

OH also BlackholeKG, the term you want is 'integrate', not 'merge'!