Back on my bullshit

Loq · Feb 15, 2020 at 3:31 AM

my dad insists on calling mr mime "Mr meme" and I'm dead

Loq · Feb 15, 2020 at 3:38 AM

"Now I know everything."
"You know fuck all, Dandelion."
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that's it that's the relationship

Loq · Feb 15, 2020

I was somehow not expecting modern handling of trauma but????

"You wrongfully thought, Geralt, that Essi was interested in you out of morbid, downright perverted curiosity[...] And you immediately became annoyed, gave her a rude, undeserved reprimand at the first opportunity, struck back at a blow she hadn't even dealt."
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Jaskier understands primed reactions?????

Loq · Feb 15, 2020 at 3:47 AM

"Yennefer once told me that the first time she did it with a man was exactly a year after the invention of the two-furrow plow."
"You're lying. Yennefer loathes you like the plague and would never confide in you."
"All right, I was lying, I confess."
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(and the sweetest follow-up line: "You don't have to. I know you.")

sirsparklepants · Feb 15, 2020 at 7:15 AM

Loq... you are just backing up every fic I want to write for this fandom with canon... I am BLESSED

Loq · Feb 15, 2020 at 9:50 AM

look I came into this series expecting to have to cherrypick my Jaskier info, I've been informed he doesn't often star in the books, I may as well share every precious morsel

Loq · Mar 5, 2020

"I can't afford to buy her anything [for her birthday], so I shall find something for her on the seabed."
"A herring? Or a cuttlefish?"
"Dolt. I'll find some amber, or maybe a pretty conch. The point is it's a symbol, a sign of concern and affection. I like Little Eye and I want to please her. Don't you understand? I thought not. Let's go. You first, there might be a monster down there."
"Right." The Witcher slid down from the cliff onto the slippery rocks, covered with algae. "I'll go first, in order to protect you if need be. As a sign of my concern and affection."
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these boys

Loq · Feb 15, 2020 at 10:49 AM

Jaskier finding a skull while beachcombing and freaking the Fuck out gives me life

Loq · Feb 15, 2020

Jaskier: oh look geralt a little fish, it's all red
Jaskier: ooh an eel!
Jaskier: oh that is a really weird bug, let's put that back
Jaskier: WHAT IN THE SHIT. GERALT HELP. WHY IS THERE A SKULL. GERALT.

(Geralt, sighing: some of us came out here looking for something that eats people, dumbass)

Loq · Feb 15, 2020 at 11:03 AM

She stood before him and Geralt regretted it was her and not the fish-eyed creature with a sword who had been hidden beneath the water.
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canon: geralt is more comfortable with mortal combat than emotional intimacy
me, immediately: geralt's a monsterfucker, geralt wants to fuck the fishman

Loq · Feb 15, 2020 at 11:06 AM

Essi: unexpected proclamations of love
Geralt, high on anaesthetic and blood loss: I am not alive enough for this shit. please stop. can I go back to angry merfolk please.

Loq · Feb 15, 2020 at 11:11 AM

Loq said: ↑

Essi: unexpected proclamations of love
Geralt, high on anaesthetic and blood loss: I am not alive enough for this shit. please stop. can I go back to angry merfolk please.
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literally, like

"I love you, Geralt. I don't care what you think. I've loved you from the moment I saw you at that engagement party..."
She stood before him and Geralt regretted it was her and not the fish-eyed creature with a sword who had been hidden beneath the water. He had stood a chance against that creature.
"You aren't saying anything," she whispered. "Nothing, not a word."
I'm tired, he thought, and bloody weak. I need to sit down. I'm dizzy, I've lost a good bit of blood and haven't eaten anything... I have to sit down. Damned tiny attic, there's no bloody furniture, not even two stupid chairs. I hope it gets struck by lightning and burns down in the next storm.
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Loq · Feb 15, 2020 at 11:17 AM

She'll burst into tears, he thought, there's no doubt, she'll burst into tears. What to do, what to bloody do?
Essi's hunched-up shoulders were trembling hard. She turned her head away and began to weep, dreadfully calmly and unrelentingly.
I don't feel anything, he noticed with horror, nothing, not the smallest emotion. The fact that I will embrace her is a measured response, not a spontaneous one. I'll hug her for I feel as though I ought to, not because I want to. I feel nothing.
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ah
geralt remains a mood

Loq · Feb 15, 2020 at 11:20 AM

JASKIER INTENTIONALLY USES HIS LUTE TO GRADUALLY ANNOUNCE HIS PRESENCE FROM A DISTANCE
JASKIER INTENTIONALLY MAKING NOISE SO HE DOESN'T STARTLE GERALT WHEN HE KNOWS HE'S TWITCHY AND RATTLED
JASKIER NOT PUSHING GERALT TO TALK BC HE UNDERSTANDS TALKING WOULD MAKE IT WORSE
JASKIER IS A GODDAMN TREASURE

KingStarscream · Feb 15, 2020 at 11:22 AM

*pours one out for geralt and Demands Of Emotional Reciprocation when it's a total nonstarter*

Loq · Feb 15, 2020 at 12:03 PM

Jaskier: vanishes for two seconds
Essi: makes another pass at geralt
Geralt: :| hm.
Jaskier: NEVERMIND I'M BACK HELLO YES I WILL DO THE TALKING YOU ARE BOTH DISASTERS

Loq · Feb 15, 2020 at 12:13 PM

"What do you expect from him, Poppet, the impossible? And you, Geralt, what are you hoping for? That she'll read your thoughts like... like the other one? And she'll settle for that, and you can stay conveniently quiet, not having to explain, declare, or deny anything? And not have to reveal yourself? How much time, how many facts do you both need to understand?
"I've had enough, by the gods, I'm up to here with both of you! Listen: I'm going to break myself off a hazel rod and go fishing, and you will have some time to yourselves, and you will bloody well talk to each other. It is not as difficult as you think. You'll either bloody get over it, or..."
Dandelion turned around rapidly and walked away, breaking reeds and cursing.
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Jaskier, Holder Of The Brain Cell And Emotional Intelligence

Loq · Feb 15, 2020 at 12:28 PM

Loq said: ↑

Dandelion, though, who after travelling for some time with the Witcher had become convinced of his impunity from retaliation
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jaskier
sir
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oh my god he's proven right

Right before the dawn, while it was still dark, a hungry, vicious werewolf crept up to their camp; but he saw that it was Dandelion, so he listened for a moment and then went on his way.
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Loq · Feb 15, 2020 at 12:47 PM

BABY CIRI BABY CIRI

Loq · Feb 15, 2020 at 1:25 PM

geralt???? is good with kids???? I'm dying?????

"Don't touch me!" she yelled. "You peasant! I am a princess, so you'd better be careful!"
"You're a foolish imp."
"I'm a princess!"
"Princesses don't roam through forests alone. Princesses have clean noses, and don't yell when an yghern attacks them."
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He reached into a saddlebag and took out a piece of fatback, a small round of white cheese, and two apples. "Have that."
"What's that yellow stuff?"
"Fatback."
"I won't eat that," she grumbled.
"That's fine," he said indistinctly, stuffing it into his own mouth. "Eat the cheese. And an apple. Just one."
"Why only one?"
"Don't wriggle, have both."
"Geralt?"
"Mm?"
"Thank you."
"Don't mention it. Food'll do you good."
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"Don't wriggle, future Princess of Verden, ma'am."
"I'm not going to be a princess," she muttered.
"Very well, very well. You won't be a princess. You'll become a hamster and live in a burrow."
"No I won't! You don't know anything!"
"I know you keep squeaking in my ear."
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Back on my bullshit

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Loq rotating like a rotisserie chicknen

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Back on my bullshit

Loq rotating like a rotisserie chicknen

Loq rotating like a rotisserie chicknen

Loq rotating like a rotisserie chicknen

Loq rotating like a rotisserie chicknen

sirsparklepants feral mom energies

Loq rotating like a rotisserie chicknen

Loq rotating like a rotisserie chicknen

Loq rotating like a rotisserie chicknen

Loq rotating like a rotisserie chicknen

Loq rotating like a rotisserie chicknen

Loq rotating like a rotisserie chicknen

Loq rotating like a rotisserie chicknen

Loq rotating like a rotisserie chicknen

Loq rotating like a rotisserie chicknen

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Loq rotating like a rotisserie chicknen

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