Bad, Hilarious, Or Just Absurd Baby Names

Discussion in 'General Chatter' started by Acey, Oct 5, 2016.

  1. Izevel

    Izevel capuchin hacker fucker

    My grandfather's parents were called Harry and Marion, so he called his daughter (my aunt) Harion.

    I should never be allowed to name a child, because I'd call it Sam, except instead of being short for Samantha or Samuel or whatever it'd be short for Samneric. Yes, as in the twins from Lord of the Flies.
    • Like x 10
  2. Erica

    Erica occasionally vaguely like a person

    these are all amazing. i wish i could contribute but most people i know have fairly normal names.... ((though there is that one example from a few years back when a couple wanted to name their son something that looked more like a keyboardsmash? there were xs and zs in there. they said it was pronounced 'albin'))

    [raises hand] resident scandinavian confirming that i do in fact know people named gunnar
    (it's mainly an old people name tho. Like Maj-Britt. or Åsa or Östen or Sven-Bertil...)
    • Like x 3
  3. Hart

    Hart the answer is no

    That would be Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116.
    • Like x 6
  4. wixbloom

    wixbloom artcute

    Another one: so I have this friend, one of my best friends, whose name is Amise. A made-up name, but a pretty cute one, right? Looks vaguely french even.

    Well, she was named after the song Easy Like a Sunday Morning. The name is pronounced "I'm easy". Amise like a Sunday morning...
    • Like x 5
  5. Aviari

    Aviari PartyWolf Is In The House Tonight

    1) My MIL's first name is "D". Not Dee, or Dierdre, just D. She goes by her middle name, Allysion.
    2) My paternal step-grandfather was Vladimir Kermit. Imagine having "Kermit" as your least-weird option as a kid in the Depression.
    3) High School English teacher named "Mr. Muff"
    3b) He named his new baby girl "Maggie May". Maggie May Muff.
    • Like x 10
  6. wixbloom

    wixbloom artcute

    When I was still studying Journalism, the president of the student council was a guy called [redacted] Mohr (pronounced "more"). Eventually he started dating another member of the council, a girl named [redacted] Fuchs (pronounced, you guessed it, "fucks"). If they ever got married and she took his last name she would have been [redacted] Fucks More.

    (Edit: removed their first names because both are in politics and probably google their own names pretty regularly and I got a bit eeeeeh about "what if they land here", haha)
    Last edited: Oct 11, 2016
    • Like x 7
  7. tollbooth

    tollbooth kick and thrash but dont stay down

    He's fictional, but Usnavi from In The Heights

    He was named after the first ship his parents saw when they came to America - it really said US Navy
    • Like x 5
  8. emythos

    emythos Lipstick Hoarding Dragon

    my boyfriend's first name is Rache. pronounced rack-e. it's from a fantasy novel his parents really liked. combined with his last name which is shared with some anime characters, (omitted for privacy) he ends up having a ridiculously dramatic name.

    literally no one gets his name right. I called him rocket for like the first three months I knew him.
    • Like x 10
  9. Aviari

    Aviari PartyWolf Is In The House Tonight

    Oh, and I just remembered some friends' of my mother's kids.

    Five brothers whose names on their own are fine, but in order of age:
    Travis, Tanner, Tucker, Tyler and Thomas.

    • Like x 2
  10. Saro

    Saro Where is wizard hut

    My partner's dad's siblings are like that: Todd, Tom, Tim, Toby, another T who I'm not remembering right now (ETA #2: Terry), then two younger siblings, Chris and Christina. Like why????

    ETA: Luckily my partner and his brother do not follow the All T's All the Time pattern.
    Last edited: Oct 11, 2016
    • Like x 1
  11. Sethrial MacCoill

    Sethrial MacCoill Attempts were made

    Not really a bad name, but when I was growing up there was a group of boys, like five or six of them, all named Chris. They terrorized the neighborhood with airsoft guns.
    • Like x 2
  12. emythos

    emythos Lipstick Hoarding Dragon

    all but like two guys in my high school were named zach/zack
    • Like x 3
  13. Another Shy One

    Another Shy One More books than clothes

    So not really a baby name but i was thinking of all the times ive went to a coffee shop and i would spell out my name and they would get it horribly wrong. My name is four letters and two syllables ending in -na. I have gotten mina, lina, tina, hannah etc. And there was time it was NiNi (knights who say Ni?).
    • Like x 4
  14. esotericPrognosticator

    esotericPrognosticator still really excited about kobolds tbqh

    I'd like to take a moment to highlight some of my favorites from this list, because oh my god I've been laughing for ten minutes: Zestpoole, LaVoice, Rocksan Violin, DuRant, JewlyAnne, Najestica, Wenderella, G'ni, Xko, Sha'Kira, Zon'tl, K'lar (this is also the name of a character in Anne McCaffrey's Pern series), LaVoid, Celestial Starr, Starvision, Iron Rod, Celestial Glory, Kneel, Tabernacle, Jennyfiveteena, Falycid, Dynevore, Treasure Cocaine, Darlin', Justan Tru, Paradise Sunrise, LaVirgin, DeFonda Virtue, Normalene, Lovie Angel, Mormon Blessing, Golden Noble, MarVel, Luvit, Superstar Five, Justa Cowgirl, Rode O, Gneiss (which is, for the uninitiated, a type of metamorphic rock), Troop, Whisper, Chat, D'Asia, Davenport Shore, SeaBreaze, Halloween, Novella, Winnter, Christmas Holiday, Merrienoel, Kris Miss, El Dawn, Mistidawn, Honey Dawn, Desdedididawn, MaryDawn, Digger, La Jonne, Wreatha, J'l, Hi-D, D'Loaf, E'all, L'orL, Me'shell, Young'n, B'andra, Amourette, Echo Rain, Thermos, Soda, K-8, Ara-Om, Pork Chop, Jar, Spoon, Syrullean, El Fawn, Chinchilla Zest, Messiah Angel, Leviathan, Laddie, Walkasheaqua, Bsjonet, Chip-wa, Sheighlagh, El Myrrh, Bridger A-10, Welcome Exile, Confederate American, Thankful Flood, Friends Forsaken, Knight Train, Miracles Precious One, Sunday's Hoseanna, Blessing Ream, Denim Levi, Vernal Independence, Mothers, Noah-Lot, Mormon Miracles, Statehood, Timberland Miner, Vilar Bodily, MyLiege Elite, Cougar Flash, Golden P., Slayer, Sterile, Sham, Apathy, DeRail, Bedlam, DeVerle (the father) and VerleDe (the son), DuWhitVandeeOn, NaLa'DeLuhRay, Phakelikaydenicia, Zaragrunudgeyon ("Zarg" for short), Tiarrhea, VulvaMae, Nudity, Tosser, Saunsceneyouray, Busbyberkly Zelda, Glint, Camera, T-vive, Bimberly, Ralphene, DavidO, Gaylawn, Txanton, Serenity-Tabitha-Ann, Alexavier, X Y Zella, Bonquisha, Casualeen, DeRaundz, Cimemthymia, LaDonnaJosephrania, deRalph, MaddLynAlain, Vyquetoriya, Kaysional Tempest, BoChe', Dwodger, Xanderrick, Abcde, KNikkol, HiDee, Jnard, Traxton Tick, Arloween, Ruby Buttercup, Superstar 5 Jemima, Falcon JAsper, Royal Teancum, and last but certainly not least, Clitoris. Mormons y u do dis.

    I, too, knew a Dick Wang (graduated last year). he did not look like the kind of person who would have that name.

    I'm just. how did those parents not realize that their kid would inevitably be called "Gayjo."

    ...this gives a whole new meaning to the term "Christian name."

    also, by way of original content, my father's first two names are "Andrew Jackson." yes, it was intentional. also I have a friend named Fransheska; her dad is named Frank, and her siblings are named Frank Jr., Franco, and Franchelli.
    • Like x 8
  15. LadyNighteyes

    LadyNighteyes Wicked Witch of the Radiant Historia Fandom

    Worldbuilding meme: Pick one with a random number generator and make a society where that name is normal. :::PPP
    • Like x 12
  16. Lambda

    Lambda everything happens so much

    just saw this post, who in the world uses most of those spellings?? I can't even choose the worst one, though maybe 'Keightland'?
    • Like x 3
  17. Aondeug

    Aondeug Cringe Annoying Ass Female Lobster

    This is why you fools should have kept with Kathleen as the spelling but noooo we had to bring the Irish spelling sans fáda into the fray and fuck it up for everyone. EVERYONE.

    Because I truly am full of hate for humanity I will name a child Caitlín but have it be pronounced the Irish fashion. And I will make sure my child knows this and that they will get furious when it is mispronounced. Go my, daughter. Spread forth the error of their ways. Punish them and mock them.
    • Like x 3
  18. artistformerlyknownasdave

    artistformerlyknownasdave revenge of ricky schrödinger

    we had three emilys and an emaleigh (pronounced emily) at my old high school

    this is just the ones in my grade, too. there were other, younger emilys
    • Like x 1
  19. Everett

    Everett local rats so small, so tiny

    Isnt that a swear in Quebec

    Isnt that.... an insult somewhere

    Why this

    Why name u kids insults...
    Altho with my vague knowledge of religion I'll give it to Tabernacle's parents who were probably just naming the kid after something church related
    Its not their fault quebec comes at the same word from a different angle lmao

    Edit: re: emilys: my middle name is a weird but understandable variation on Emily, in keeping with a family tradition(??) of having a name ending in Lee i guess
    One time when I was a kid I didnt know how to spell it so I just got "Emile" which is a different name entirely
    Last edited: Oct 11, 2016
    • Like x 4
  20. Aondeug

    Aondeug Cringe Annoying Ass Female Lobster

    Adolph Blaine Charles David Earl Frederick Gerald Hubert Irvin John Kenneth Lloyd Martin Nero Oliver Paul Quincy Randolph Sherman Thomas Uncas Victor William Xerxes Yancy Zeus Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorffwelchevoralternwarengewissenhaftschaferswessenschafewarenwohlgepflegeundsorgfaltigkeitbeschutzenvorangreifendurchihrraubgierigfeindewelchevoralternzwolfhunderttausendjahresvorandieerscheinenvonderersteerdemenschderraumschiffgenachtmittungsteinundsiebeniridiumelektrischmotorsgebrauchlichtalsseinursprungvonkraftgestartseinlangefahrthinzwischensternartigraumaufdersuchennachbarschaftdersternwelchegehabtbewohnbarplanetenkreisedrehensichundwohinderneuerassevonverstandigmenschlichkeitkonntefortpflanzenundsicherfreuenanlebenslanglichfreudeundruhemitnichteinfurchtvorangreifenvorandererintelligentgeschopfsvonhinzwischensternartigraum, Senior.

    Or Hubert Blaine Wolfe+590, Sr for short.
    • Like x 3
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