Good News! SCUBA CERTIFIED WOO Bad News! Horribly seasick for the first time EVER. In. My. Life. Only when it's important. Great. Thanks. Unseasonably cold water and 5ft visibility made the dive itself fucking miserable. I wanted to become a diver to LOOK AT COOL SHIT. COULDN'T SEE SHIT. We dove a FUCKING SHIPWRECK but visibility was such utter crap that you couldn't see the blighted thing unless you were literally on top of it. On top of it to the point that you have to pay more attention to your buoyancy and flippers than the teeny fish, lest you crash into and destroy 10yrs' growth of coral. Splitting sinus headache because my fucked up Eustachian tubes make equalizing my ears a nightmare. I'm just. Sad. This is not what I hoped for. It. It feels almost as pointless as my degree. Scuba certified. Woo.
good news: am definitely getting more fit, and our team pt person gave me tips for doing squats that won't make my knees asplode ("sumo squats") bad news: if I have to run another building lap I may start crying, which will be embarrassing for everyone
good news: got the fucking grant application submitted bad news: this week in AP lab is cats + muscles and I am so terrible at cats + muscles and I missed sitting in on the professors lab to copy their prelab because I was finishing that grant
bad news: husband is waiting in semi-urgent care, which he went to early from work because he was having trouble breathing. moirail is having a shitty time of it, and people are pulling some shifty moves on her. i'm in a bit of a slump, and i'm super tired. good news: got asked to sing at a donor reception for the Manitoba Opera. :o
good news: i think i know how i'm gonna respond to the tumblr witch hunts, and i'm gonna elaborate upon it in more detail and ask for kintsugi's thoughts on it once i have enough time to. bad news: i'm still scared. what if this is a bad idea, or simply not as effective as i want it to be? what if i get hate for it on tumblr, once the plan is fully worked out and i orchestrated it on there? what if i'm far too cocky and full of myself, thinking about this in terms of Plans And Shit? what if i come off as obnoxious?
I'm making a large post basically to organize my own stressed out thoughts ------ Bad news: Workplace drama. Too many opposing political forces in the 40h workweek vs. 30h workweek debacle. And I'm still on probation, still in college, busy and stressed out and caught in the middle of this. Good news: Even if we do have to do 40h/week, it'll only apply after my drawing examination for art school is done with, at which point some extra hours in an office will no longer be that big a deal. ------ Bad news: There is so much to DO re: college! Graduation stuff! Papers! Documents! Good news: College stuff is gonna be OK. It's all fine. I talked to my advisor. He talked to the person responsible for approving or rejecting my credits request. She was extremely sympathethic and says she'll approve, which means graduating will happen and I'll go to art school and it'll all be fine. The graduation people are OK and the committee selected a nice frand to help me out because I missed some deadlines. It's all Ok. ------ Bad news: still 3 weeks to go in my internship Good news: 3 weeks will go by lightning fast, especially with how stressed I am (stress means hurtling through tasks, which makes weeks go by fast) and after that I NEVER HAVE TO STEP IN A HIGH SCHOOL AGAIN. ------ Bad news: I got 2 commissions to hand in which means work and additional stress Good news: I got 2 commissions to hand in, which means art, money and recognition of my artistic ability and of my hard work ------ Bad news: I have no time to do the art I want to do Good news: First off, I'm making 4 large drawings a week, so the voice in my head that's like "why don't you make more art" can shut the hell up, they're not ther art I want to make but hell yes they count! I'm still making some very nice feasible plans for art, figuring stuff out and dedicating myself to getting into art school, which is a priority in terms of my practice.
Bad news: bluh fasting, bluh blood tests. Also every time I've been told I just needed to do a blood draw they've also made me do a piss test. I mentioned people weren't telling me and they said it's part of the standard panel and I should always come prepared to do it. This is a Problem because 1) I usually do blood draws first thing in the morning and I piss first thing in the morning and 2) I had to do SO MANY urine tests as a kid (UTIs) that it's now a source of stress for me. Which means I can't pee on command. SO today I go in ready to pissplode because every time they've made me do the fucking urine tests... and it's actually just just a blood draw. -potty dances angrily- Good news: girl at Starbucks is super cute. She likes my colorful lipstick and remembered part of my name (notable because my name is uncommon and difficult). Also didn't give me the "wow what a fatass" look when I ordered a whole bunch of food (I just fasted gimme a break and let me stuff my face). There is a very tiny chance he's interested in girls and I only see her when I go in during the mornings which is next to never, but it was nice being able to go "halp she's cute" in my head and maybe experiencing attraction means that my depression is clearing up. It's a small sign and might be a fluke but it COULD mean progress! And progress is good!
Alright... Bad news: Graduation stuff won't quite be so simple seeing as apparently they'll have someone ELSE review my request BEFORE it goes over to the people who I know are favorable to it. Good news: I already know the "someone else"'s name and work hours, and according to the secretary I talked about she too seemed favorable to my request. Time to show up all pretty and smiling and turn an asset.
bad news: i forgot how to read words today for a mo good news: i got a stupid plastic spider ring presented to me by boyfriend to continue our thing where we give each other shitty novelty rings and he is really cute wow
Good news: I ate food today semi regulary Bad News: None of it was healthy (Unless pizza counts as healthy)
good news: got very messy room cleaned, organized, and vacuumed, which felt like a lot. bad news: meant to hang a string of fairy lights up around the edge of the room; accidentally shot through the wire with a staple gun while attemping to hang them. lights are ruined.
Bad: The front room of our house keeps flooding due to all the rain. Good: Those fucking amazing fuckers that responded to my disabled and neglected thread offered to buy me food, and fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. Just. I can't give enough hugs, I'm just wordless and like that weird stinging almost crying. Fuck. Formal request to give them all the hugs.
good news: got a call back from the school i want to sign up for. bad news: i now have to make scary phone call back (since i missed the original call) and talk about tuition and programs and scary grownup things.
Tried to catch up on sleep since I've been sleeping like shit lately. Went to bed at like 8pm (stupid early). Not sure when I actually fell asleep. I know I woke up again around 1:30 because my portable speaker was making unhappy noises about running out of charge. Didn't feel rested when I finally woke up proper. But... I did get up at 9am without feeling like I needed to curl up in bed again. As compared to the noonish that I normally do. So that's progress.
Good news: I don't have a migraine. I'm not seeing sparks and I'm on meds to prevent them. Bad news: I am, incidentally, just happening to have a headsplitter headache with fuckawful nausea.
Bad news: work bullshit continues to be bullshit Good news: I'm going to take seriously my contingency plan of scouting the downtown libraries and other workplaces to see if I can get a transfer there instead of waiting for my workmates to stop being jerks. This means a mission!
bad news: everything keeps happening so much good news: by some wild stroke of luck, was able to make a psychiatrist appointment for this Friday
Bad news: My body hates me and I hate it and it terrifies me that I can't track wtf is wrong with it anymore. Good news: delicious winter edition liaison juice. Pomegranate, blackberry and apple, hnghh.
