Badfic

Discussion in 'Fan Town' started by wixbloom, Mar 9, 2015.

  1. wixbloom

    wixbloom artcute

    The topic always makes for a good laugh! Screencaps, quotes, even links are appreciated.

    For my part, I'll just start by saying: never continue reading fic that describes the sunrise as “the bright glowing orb tinting the morning skies”, because it will inevitably refer to a guy’s dick as his “slick manhood”.
     
    • Like x 6
  2. Arxon

    Arxon Well-Known Member

    I can literally never stop giggling whenever a fanfic uses "buttocks" in sexy situations. Like I don't know if over the pond it isn't inherently the least sexy word, but whenever I read about two guys mad with lust admiring each others buttocks I can't help but snort.
    Similarly: using "breached" for penetration. It just makes me think of lil old timey navy boys going "cap'n, the arse has been breached!"
     
    • Like x 6
  3. Deresto

    Deresto Jurassic Park Enthusiast

    i know this is so overdone but... my immortal. i still to this day can't get over some of the lines.
    such as:

    -AN: I sed stup flaming ok ebony’s name is ENOBY nut mary su OK! DRACO IS SOO IN LUV wif her dat he is acting defrent! dey nu eechodder b4 ok!

    -“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!”
    It was…………………………………………………….Dumbledore!

    -“Crookshanks!” I shouted at him. Voldemort fell of his broom and started to scream.

    -“I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT….” Hargirid paused angrily. “BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!”

    i'm in tears i havent read this fanfic in so long thank you for reminding me of it with this thread.
     
    • Like x 5
  4. wixbloom

    wixbloom artcute

    Last edited: Mar 9, 2015
    • Like x 12
  5. Deresto

    Deresto Jurassic Park Enthusiast

  6. wixbloom

    wixbloom artcute

    I'm reading this fic that's genrally decent when I come across this gem:
    "[Character]'s face turned pale, and her freckles all but disappeared"
    That's not how that works.
     
    • Like x 10
  7. kmoss

    kmoss Under Construction

    I used to read Fanfiction Friday over at Topless Robot, and I think one of my all-time favorite hogwarts fanfiction was "First Encounter", also known as the one where the giant squid fucks hogwarts castle.

    Quote:
    "I'm not ready!" Hogwarts exclaimed, trying to push the giant squid away with his magic.

    "Hogwarts, you're lonely, I'm lonely. We don't have to be. Besides, you can't go around manipulating your staircases."

    "You know about that!"

    "Everyone does it. Sort of."

    "That's beside the point. I've never..." The temperature within rose in embarrassment.
     
    • Like x 3
  8. Starcrossedsky

    Starcrossedsky Burn and Refine

    ... KH fandom, where you at, it can't just be me that has experienced Our Horrors.

    That said, I actually keep a tag on my tumblr for when I go browsing ffnet. I see some gems. Most of what's there is Paolini's Inheritance Cycle or jrpg nonsense, since that's what I actually look at these days.
     
    Last edited: Mar 9, 2015
    • Like x 2
  9. Arxon

    Arxon Well-Known Member

    If I was brave, I would go find Snakes on a Sora or that one where it's set in a concentration camp? But I'm not, so I won't.
     
  10. Astrodynamicist

    Astrodynamicist Adequate Potato Goblin

    • Like x 4
  11. emythos

    emythos Lipstick Hoarding Dragon

    Has anyone here read face the strange?
    Oh wait, actually, FaCE ThE StRaNgE. Possibly the worst fanfic I have ever read. My moirail and I basically sat around reading it out loud together and cracking up. Until it got too homophobic/transphobic/absolutely everything-phobic. Then we were just staring in shocked silence.
    I also once stayed up all night reading bad creepypasta reader inserts.
     
  12. wes scripserat

    wes scripserat Hephaestus

    has anyone found life of cristancia?
    at one point her lady bits fall off and apparently she's only homophobic on wednesdays?
     
  13. Acey

    Acey the poison you love

    CRASHES INTO THE ROOM
    DID SOMEONE MENTION BAD FANFICTION

    Okay, so I'm a badfic fangirl of sorts. I've even cosplayed Enoby.

    [​IMG]
    (Not pictured: the fact that I got my friend Jessi to edit my Time tattoo to be a pentagram with the words "HAIL STAN'.)

    One of my favorites, though, is the infamous Dipper Goes To Taco Bell, solely because it's so over the top and so disgusting that it becomes utterly hilarious to me. @Neurogabu and I both laugh at the mention of Taco Bell now. (There's even a pic somewhere of her dressed as Dipper standing in front of the Taco Bell downtown, but I can't find it.)

    Also, Homestuck high. Just...Homestuck high.
     
    • Like x 10
  14. wes scripserat

    wes scripserat Hephaestus

    beautiful.
     
  15. wes scripserat

    wes scripserat Hephaestus

    i also like the "hail stan" bit.
    should we start stanism?
     
  16. Acey

    Acey the poison you love

    Well, given that Enoby refers to "Stanism" at least once in the fic proper...
     
  17. wes scripserat

    wes scripserat Hephaestus

    That was my point.
    I first learned about my immortal through a comentfic.
     
  18. Acey

    Acey the poison you love

    So which Stan are we worshiping? Stan Pines? Stan Marsh? Stan Lee?
     
    • Like x 2
  19. emythos

    emythos Lipstick Hoarding Dragon

    All three, duh.
     
    • Like x 3
  20. Acey

    Acey the poison you love

    General worship of guys named Stan, then? Works for me.
     
    • Like x 1
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