Badfic

like, going through the fic and mocking it as a group
like
going through it paragraph by paragraph likr haha this sucks

 

oh it's definitely bad enough for that. give me a sec I'll find the screenshots

 

note: you can't know just how wildly ooc this is so you can't really grasp the full extent of how bad and inaccurate it is

Spoiler: involves vore and stuffing

 

Oh gods, now I'm getting mental images of, well, Cedar. I need brain bleach.

 

i think brain bleach is called for all around

 

foot long cock. okay.

 

"spongey head"

 

me and my boyfriend's names in our chat are now "nice cream filled boyfriend" and "hey honey i need some lovin" respectively

 

wow someone really has a belly filling kink of some variety, jesus

 

HOW DID I JUST FIND THIS THREAD

I recently stumbled across a fic where a dude's dick was described as being eight meters long. No, it wasn't like a giant-fetish thing or anything. From context I guess the author meant eight inches, but I genuinely do not know how you make that kind of mistake.

Oh, and to contribute to the spork--is anyone else creeped out by Cedar's complete lack of dialogue, or is it just me?

 

not knowing measurements

 

wink wink nudge nudge say no more

 

That is gold.

This new Silent Hill game is not what I expected…

 

said Kim Kardashian with advice

 

Fun fact: I once wrote an intentionally-bad Harry Potter fic where Draco's magical dragon dick is described thusly:

On cue, his aching wiener became a purple dragon, 3 meters in length (AN: IDK how British measurements work, that's like 10 inches right??).

If it was unintentional, though...yeah that's baffling as hell.

 

I'd say Magic Fanfic Medicine is worse than either. Ask me about the one which used a random mishmash of plants specifically stated to be poisonous to cure a gunshot wound.

 

... How big are most otters again?

 

"Magical dragon dick"=excellent band name. :D

(As for Mr Eight Meters, I have a sneaking suspicion the fic may have been subjected to various find-and-replace changes in the "editing" stage; that still doesn't really explain it though. Possibly the author honestly did think "meters" was how Fancy People say "inches".)

 

there's an entire gallery of this and the author is my personal hero
I'd like to meet them someday...

 

Some post in another thread reminded me of this quote, from a badfic that has been mentioned here before, For Your Eyes Only.

Sorry.