Badfic

Discussion in 'Fan Town' started by wixbloom, Mar 9, 2015.

  1. Starcrossedsky

    Starcrossedsky Burn and Refine

    My immediate thought was "a noble house that always produces children that are a prodigy in SOMETHING" which I think could be interesting if done right, but even if the author meant that, there's no way it was done right.
     
    • Like x 5
  2. chaoticArbiter

    chaoticArbiter literally Eevee

    ....what
     
    • Like x 3
  3. peripheral

    peripheral Stacy's Dad Is Also Pretty Rad

    it's even better in context

    “Oh Draco, Draco!” I screamed while getting an orgasm when all of a sudden I saw a tattoo I had never seen before on Draco’s arm. It was a black heart with an arrow through it. On it in bloody gothic writing were the words………… Vampire!

    I was so angry.

    “You bastard!” I shouted angrily, jumping out of the bed.

    “No! No! But you don’t understand!” Draco pleaded. But I knew too much.

    “No, you fucking idiot!” I shouted. “You probably have AIDs anyway!”

    I put on my clothes all huffily and then stomped out. Draco ran out even though he was naked. He had a really big you-know-what but I was too mad to care. I stomped out and did so until I was in Vampire’s classroom where he was having a lesson with Professor Snape and some other people.

    “VAMPIRE POTTER, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!” I yelled.

    Chapter 8.

    AN: stop flassing ok! if u do den u r a prep!

    XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXX

    Everyone in the class stared at me and then Draco came into the room even though he was naked and started begging me to take him back.

    “Ebony, it’s not what you think!” Draco screamed sadly.

    My friend B’loody Mary Smith smiled at me understatedly. She flipped her long waste-length gothic black hair and opened her crimson eyes like blood that she was wearing contact lenses on. She had pale white skin that she was wearing white makeup on. Hermione was kidnapped when she was born. Her real parents are vampires and one of them is a witch but Voldemort killed her mother and her father committed suicide because he was depressed about it. She still has nightmares about it and she is very haunted and depressed. It also turns out her real last name is Smith and not Granger. (Since she has converted to Satanism she is in Slytherin now not Griffindoor. )

    “What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit!” Snape demeaned angrily in his cold voice but I ignored him.

    “Vampire, I can’t believe you cheated on me with Draco!” I shouted at him.

    Everyone gasped.

    I don’t know why Ebony was so mad at me. I had went out with Vampire (I’m bi and so is Ebony) for a while but then he broke my heart. He dumped me because he liked Britney, a stupid preppy fucker. We were just good friends now. He had gone through horrible problems, and now he was gothic. (Haha, like I would hang out with a prep.)

    “But I’m not going out with Draco anymore!” said Vampire.

    “Yeah fucking right! Fuck off, you bastard!” I screamed. I ran out of the room and into the Forbidden Forest where I had lost my virility to Draco and then I started to bust into tears.
     
    • Like x 7
  4. Acey

    Acey hand extended, waiting for a shake

    I think my favorite excerpt from My Immortal might be the part where we first meet Harry Vampire, and learn why he goes by Vampire now.

     
    • Like x 7
  5. chaoticArbiter

    chaoticArbiter literally Eevee

    wow.
     
    • Like x 3
  6. Acey

    Acey hand extended, waiting for a shake

    Okay so this is a tangent, but the TMBG Meme Team chat began discussing a TMBG/My Immortal crossover, and...I think it needs to be shared. It's pretty heavy on TMBG fandom injokes and memes but yeah.

    [4:11:09 PM] Fio: au where my immortal.... is.......
    [4:11:17 PM] Fio: a tmbg badfic
    [4:11:20 PM] happy holidacey: oh my god
    [4:11:26 PM] happy holidacey: no like
    [4:11:33 PM] happy holidacey: au where enoby is obsessed with tmbg
    [4:11:49 PM] happy holidacey: and a lot of people tell her she looks like robin goldwasser
    [4:12:24 PM] Fio: ivory daylight depression canary way
    [4:12:42 PM] happy holidacey: *linnell
    [4:12:50 PM] happy holidacey: she's not related to john linnell
    [4:12:53 PM] Fio: oh ur rite
    [4:12:57 PM] happy holidacey: but she wishes she was because he's a major fucking hottie
    [4:12:57 PM] Fio: but she wishes she was
    [4:13:01 PM] Fio: yep
    [4:14:02 PM | Edited 4:15:15 PM] Fio: blue daylight depression canary collard-linnell
    [4:14:06 PM] happy holidacey: Hi my name is Blue Day'light Depression Canary Linnell and I have long blue hair (that's how I got my name)
    [4:14:07 PM] happy holidacey: omg
    [4:14:58 PM] Fio: for example today i was wearing a pocket t shirt, loose jeans and a paper white mask of evil
    [4:15:01 PM] happy holidacey: good
    [4:15:28 PM] happy holidacey: a lot of floodies stared at me. i put up my middle finger at them
    [4:15:36 PM] Fio: g o d
    [4:15:43 PM] Fio: "floodies"
    [4:16:02 PM] Fio: i can't believe people use that condescendingly
    [4:16:08 PM] happy holidacey: alternately, pre-john henry purists, but that's less catchy
    [4:16:47 PM] happy holidacey: i'm a vampire and john linnell wrote trouble awful devil evil about me.
    [4:17:04 PM] happy holidacey: i'm also a witch, and some people call me iowa which is a state in the united states
    [4:17:04 PM] Rat "Tall, Dark, and Metric" Ratterson: I can't believe this
    [4:17:09 PM] Fio: "My name's John Linnell, though most people call me Professor these days." He grumbled.
    [4:17:22 PM] happy holidacey: BECAUSE I LOVE THE TASTE OF OLD ENCYCLOPEDIAS
    [4:17:36 PM] Fio: he love the cronch
    [4:17:43 PM] happy holidacey: he giggled
    [4:17:54 PM] happy holidacey: so is draco flans then
    [4:18:02 PM] Fio: i guess
    [4:18:13 PM] happy holidacey: uhhhhh willow is robin
    [4:18:32 PM] Fio: best / worst au
    [4:18:36 PM] happy holidacey: yes
     
    • Like x 2
  7. chaoticArbiter

    chaoticArbiter literally Eevee

    .....I still have so many questions about some of the things that happened here.
     
    • Like x 4
  8. LadyNighteyes

    LadyNighteyes Wicked Witch of the Radiant Historia Fandom

    My Immortal is a work of surreal majesty.
     
    • Like x 8
  9. Acey

    Acey hand extended, waiting for a shake

    We all do.
     
    • Like x 6
  10. chaoticArbiter

    chaoticArbiter literally Eevee

    I feel like I should try and actually read the whole thing but at the same time
    I don't want to
     
    • Like x 4
  11. emythos

    emythos Lipstick Hoarding Dragon

    READ IT
    I MADE IT THROUGH, SO CAN YOU
     
    • Like x 5
  12. chaoticArbiter

    chaoticArbiter literally Eevee

    but what if I don't
     
  13. emythos

    emythos Lipstick Hoarding Dragon

    then you still tried and that's what matters
     
    • Like x 4
  14. chaoticArbiter

    chaoticArbiter literally Eevee

    I tried once before and I didn't even make it through the first chapter
    must I really suffer this again
     
    • Like x 2
  15. emythos

    emythos Lipstick Hoarding Dragon

    yes.
     
    • Like x 2
  16. chaoticArbiter

    chaoticArbiter literally Eevee

    [​IMG]

    this is me
    right now
    at this very moment
     
    • Like x 7
  17. emythos

    emythos Lipstick Hoarding Dragon

    just think of the hilarity that you will find
    dumbledore yelling motherfuckers
    imagine
     
    • Like x 2
  18. chaoticArbiter

    chaoticArbiter literally Eevee

    but it's so bad and incredibly OOC it hurts my heart ;~;
     
  19. emythos

    emythos Lipstick Hoarding Dragon

    don't think of it as a harry potter fanfic
    think of it as its own bizarre canon
     
    • Like x 4
  20. chaoticArbiter

    chaoticArbiter literally Eevee

    ......but the names and all
    and it involves canon characters and--
    I....
    I will try
     
    • Like x 3
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