bandit king of lunch and string

and it's a great setting for mood whiplash humor, too. a zombie movie that isn't funny is a waste of film imo.

 

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/227hzo/hikers_and_backpackers_of_reddit_what_is_the/

spooky wooky tales from the backwoods, courtesy of luka. some good scares in here. also a lot of very ordinary crap that people got disproportionately freaked out by. i have a know-it-all douche urge to go through and explain them all. "of course the pine plantation was silent and empty of wildlife, you walnut, it's a monoculture of a non-food crop, there's nothing for the animals to live on!"

probably not my most lovable personality trait.

still. for crying out loud. if you're hiking in wolf country and you find deer bones, it's not even worth a photo unless they're unusually aesthetic. it's certainly not satanists or serial kilers. and what do you mean, "i can't imagine what a child was doing out there barefoot," you just said you yourself were eight and it was a muddy swamp. obviously not hard for kids to get to, and the spookyooky forest spirit that left that spookyooky footprint probably took his shoes off so they wouldn't slosh and stink for a week afterwards. in fact, everyone who was so amazed to see evidence of humanity out in the backwoods -- you were there to see it, smart guy, obviously people go there! *shakes head continuously for a year*

 

the more i think about it, the more i suspect some city folk assume anywhere they can't see a building is the absolute wilds of beyond, and the idea that you might be in somebody's back 40 -- and that that person is not a livestock-raping hillbilly, but an ordinary person with ordinary reasons to be in the woods, such as "it's a nice night and i'm going to go look at the stars" -- is just inconcievable to them.

i used to go walking in an abandoned pine plantation a lot as a kid. it was a couple miles from my house, in the middle of an area of overgrown newish-growth forest that had been logged and then farmed and then left to its own devices since maybe the 1930's -- some big ass maples but still mostly brushwood and raspberry bramble, absolutely impenetrable aside from some trodden paths. the paths were reasonably well traveled, from the look of them; i was always picking up candy wrappers and beer cans to throw away. the pine plantation, not so much. i dunno if it was a christmas tree farm or if it was for telephone poles or what, but there was about a half dozen square miles of huge pines in perfectly straight rows, the ground thickly carpeted with fallen needles, and the only undergrowth was big ferns and a strip of tall grass and honeysuckle and nightshade vines between each row where a little light reached the ground. the pines were too close together for any other trees to sprout.

it was absolutely silent. i loved that about it. i could barely hear my own footsteps, with how thick the pine needles were on the ground. i'd roam around pretending i was an adventurer in a fantasy world, or sit and read a book, or climb up one of the trees far enough that i could feel it sway with the wind and let it lull me into a peaceful daze.

i can imagine the reaction of someone who's seen more horror movies than nature documentaries, venturing timorously into this new and scary 'outdoors' thing, if they caught sight of some genderless person of indeterminate age (i was tall for my age right up until i wasn't) with long shaggy red hair, wearing ragged clothes (i was grunge before grunge was a thing, and also treated my clothes like crap), carrying no supplies (i had a water bottle and a paperback book in my coat pockets, most likely, but they couldn't see that), whose footsteps made absolutely no sound (hunting boots on pine needles), and who gave them the briefest stare from sunken eyes in a bone white face (chronic insomnia and i don't tan) before vanishing without a trace (because i knew the place really well and did not want to interact with strangers).

yeah, i probably scared the crap out of a bunch of young couples looking for someplace to schmang. but i just wanted to read in a tree. i hardly even thought about murdering them at all.

 

aud has provided me with the picture i'm going to use every time i try to convince someone to move to northfield <3

 

https://twitter.com/jamrockstar/status/1100040825269030914/photo/1

 

i'm worried about my greenhouse plants. i haven't been able to get into the dome to take care of them for way too long. i'm afraid they're all dead now. :(

 

how did i end up on this page? impressive tho

 

it needs shoveled, but it'd probably stay shoveled now. problem is seebs tried to dig a path, but by the time they got to the end the beginning was already drifted over.

i miss my water exercises so bad. it's been months since i've gotten the weight off my spine. ;_;

 

try guys even more adorable since they left buzzfeed. and a LOT more into queer culture. i don't think eugene ever outright mentioned being bisexual when they were with buzzfeed, and since they've been independent, every other episode they're in a gay bar or talking about queer history. i begin to suspect i know why they left buzzfeed.

i think eugene's the only queer one, but i gotta say i have a great fondness for straight guys that are genuinely flattered when a queer guy (politely) hits on them. i mean look at zach's face when he says a guy who liked his crop top was chatting him up. he honestly took it as a compliment and enjoyed the validation. i love that.

 

all my mobile games are like "yay it's spring! time for spring events! flowers errwher!"

meanwhile in minnesota