bandit king of lunch and string

whoooo yeah


that's not "fuck these 6 counties in particular", that's "let's find out if minnesota floats".

 

there's a threesome of ducks, two males and a female, that come to our yard every spring. recently we saw only one male with the female, and theorized they'd lost their other lad, which was sad. but this morning all three were paddling around the backyard happy as clams. i'm so pleased the ot3 is not broken up after all.

sometimes a family is a mama and two daddies and a whole buncha eggies.

edit: i have named them alec, eliot, and parker.

 

oh no that's so sad how the first mama died tho. i want to write a romance about a human trio who were attacked and the mom died driving off the attackers, leaving the dads with the kids, and they brought in a nanny to help care for them, and gradually learn to love her. *wibbling*

what a good article. thank you.

 

nick's middle name is grendel, and seebs is on some discord or other as 'grendel's mother'.

seebs: which is why i'm always prepared to hear that my son was beaten to death with his own arm.
me: D: D: D:
me: i'm not! you tell them grendel's dad says that's not cool!
nick: *much laughter*
me: stay away from those mead halls, young man.
nick: stuffing more old english knights in my pockets.
me: no!
nick: runs off with one still dangling from my mouth.
me: you stop that! you'll ruin your appetite for denmark!

 

YES GOOD

 

General Advice On How To Be Popular: bring content that makes people smile.

this wisdom pearlette brought to you by how i've recently seen a number of people posting happy stuff and getting more attention as a result. this makes me feel contented.

 

ahhh i am absolutely sweltering. i know i'll get tired of it soon, but right now being WARM ENOUGH is really really nice.

 

having another tooth pulled tomorrow. in the future i have so many appointments for medical pesterings that i can't mentally keep track of them all, and i'm already losing function from overload. i don't know how to do this.

 

they had to pull two molars instead of one. neither wanted to come out. there were a lot of terrible splintering noises. my jaw aches horribly just from the surgeon wrenching on it.

seebs got me cinnamon churro pudding and a literal rainbow of jello, and is taking tomorrow off to spend with me, to distract me from the ouchies. best spouse. <3

 

me: maybe tomorrow i can plant out my seedlings!
minnesota weather: HEY GUESS WHAT

 

well, i wanted some precipitation to soak the newly placed dirt in the raised boxes. and these big fluffy fucking snowflakes are melting when they touch down. so i guess it's ok. i guess. i'll just have to keep the seedlings inside the dome until the cold weather passes. sometime in goddamn may.

global warming broke the arctic wind wall and now my gardening schedule is SO FUCKED UP.

 

on the upside, seebs made me the fluffiest, most delicious scrambled eggs today! and tomorrow i'll probably be ok to chew normal food as long as it's not sharp. no potato chips for me, but i could have pierogi and kielbasa, perhaps. mmmm pierogi.

 

ok i'm gonna need dental implants. since they've now removed two molars out on the left side, and one on the right side, chewing is getting super awkward. i feel like a zombie. my body is just falling apart.

 

no sleep for me. i can feel the body horror nightmares waiting to pounce.

 

earlier today btw

me: i dreamed that due to a continuity error i had two boyfriends, and you didn't care.
seebs: were they pretty? were they nice? did they buy me things?

seebs has priorities

 

i finally fell asleep around 8am. dreamed i had scurvy and was coming apart at the seams. barb woke me up at 11 with mcdonalds. i gave her my fries. they're still too crunchy to chow down on normally, though i was able to eat a few by nibbling carefully.

there's blood drool on my dinosaur pillow and that suture is still drifting like seaweed in my mouth, one end anchored in my flesh and the other freely roaming. i want to punch the sun.