I hope the stabbing party goes well. Also! Some journals have weirdly fast turnaround. One of the more prestigious in my field has an average turnaround of 72 days (eta: turnaround from submission to publication, not just 'they get back to you whether they're sending it to reviewers'). Most are on the order of months if not years, but this one is fast. GF kicking ass with her ~vapid~ friends is probably narratively most satisfying, but 'peer reviewer shows up with guns and the IRB' amuses me as a concept.