Blackhole does therapy or whatever

For some reason I can't seem to get through to them, the phone just keeps ringing and nobody answers, and I don't have any other contact details. I hope this doesn't cause problems

 

It should be fine! Try again tomorrow and confirm your intention to go to the next appointment, it's reasonable since you weren't able to contact them.

 

Therapy this week was... interesting. We spent most of the session trying to find a valid situation in which I could try "pushing the wall" - that is to say, deliberately put myself in an anxiety-producing situation to show myself that nothing bad would happen - that would really work for my specific, more moral issues. I didn't particularly want to be pushing any moral boundaries, and there was also the issue that there are still some things that I haven't fully opened up to her about so we didn't have as wide a selection but... idk. It's hard to make me push my boundaries too far.

We reached sort of an impasse and then spent the end of the session plotting a kind of spectrum of morally good and bad deeds, presumably so we could try and find something that was kinda-bad-but-not-too-bad by my own internal compass? It was weird. I'm not sure we actually made much progress. Maybe next week will be better I'm not sure. At least for the moment I'm still not actively caught up in any particular obsession, or at least, not one of my usual irrational ones (I'm not sure if my recent renewed preoccupation with gender issues counts as an obsession - it might do, but if so then it's probably a valid/real one, which has happened before *shrugs*).

 

Okay, so, my therapist essentially just told me that there's nothing more she can do to help me, because she's covered all the stuff she can say and I'm too closed off to give her anything more to work with. And I can't help but agree, so our sessions are essentially over now. *shrug*

I can't say I mind too much because it's true, it wasn't helpful because I wasn't comfortable talking about more stuff and the whole experience was profoundly uncomfortable in every way.

 

"Essentially"

Did she say those things? Did she cancel future appointments?

 

Yes. We were almost at the end of the average session number (eg the amount they generally allot) anyway.

 

Wait, huh? What? Who's "they"? And why would you only see your therapist for two months? Like, the whole process sounds kind of iffy.. and slightly unhealthy :/

(For comparison, I've been seeing my therapist since I was 15, so that's 6 years now.. although I do remember my parents taking me to many different therapists over the course of 3 or so years before this.)

 

I think it's like with publicly subsidised care (in australia if you get a mental health plan through a GP only 6 sessions are subsidised)

 

Yeah, if I remember correctly @BlackholeKG is in the UK and thus using the NHS? In which case, yeeah, they generally suggest that you only have ~8 sessions. Cost-saving measures.

 

Ah, that makes sense.

... :/