Boat Trolls planning thread! (full of spoilers, non-players enter at your own risk)

we... can tiptoe around this and just call it the water closet or something.

 

how old should i make erskin? i'm torn between 18 and 21— there's a small but significant maturity gap there, so im not sure which would be more fun. and how long would he have been agelessly enthralled by cloris, i don't think uberwaldian peasantry would uprise against a ruling vampire— even a clear usurper— in just one year, but certainly it wouldn't take a whole generation, if cloris was obviously and unapologetically draining the fiefdom from the start for like, lavish parties for her vampire pals. so erskin could have lost a couple years to a decade? he could actually just not even be sure how much time he's lost.

 

idk if jethro's an early riser, but if he's not there already, erskin will very carefully and clumsily wash and dry the cups, then be enormously proud of himself.

 

i'm setting erskin at 'minor managerial positions (in running a barony)' in terms of maturity and experience. definitely still a bitty baby compared to the vampires who've ruled territories for centuries! and still young by a lot of human standards too. but not just a spoiled and irresponsible manbaby lordling. it's hard to imagine reginald aspera mismanaging his fief or letting his son fuck around uselessly, especially with how sincere captain erskin is about caring for the sunslammer.

i think erskin would still have gotten as much done outdoors as possible, though. he'd be very keen on riding around surveying stuff, or riding around and entertaining foreign delegations, or riding around to deal with judiciary problems like bandits and werewolves and witchhunts*, than staying inside to do the accounting.

*discworldian witchhunts tend to end with the village burning down, not the witch, and are best stopped before they start.

 

idk what gods are uberwaldian. the peasantry seem a little busy surviving their feudal lords to fuss about divine ones...

 

i love black petunias! black tulips are disappointing to touch because they look satiny but aren't. but black petunias are excellent.

also i subscribe to the notion that discworld vampires just kind of have tropes... manifest... around them. i don't think any of them actually painted their doors or anything. it just happened. they moved in and the next day the pink petunias were all black. maybe they have to whitewash the building walls or the whole thing turns black. or at least to mysterious age-darkened stone.

 

i think he'd totally give it a try. why not charge a ton to see if you can get away with it?

 

rough math puts that 1$AM pint of blood at three or more times the price of a pint of beer. the butchers might be pricing their animal blood at the going rate for a pint of human blood sold to a hospital.

edit: nvm, pint of human blood ranges from 300$ in the us to 25$ in india. that's pricy! but then again, our technology can use it and store it much better, while the only buyers of human blood in ankh morpork might be the igors. so who knows.