I care about you, I'm pretty sure we all do. You should definitely nope the fuck away from this dude.
i'm sorry, i didn't mean to imply that all of you don't care. i know that you do because you're still responding, i don't think you don't care.
I'd love to be friends with you, honestly. I don't know if that's a lot, but... it's there. I understand why your DPD is telling you you need his permission to do anything, but... what happens when he starts saying you CAN'T do anything just because he can, or he's mad?
i can tell it isn't meant that way but my brain is parsing everything in this thread rn as anger and impatience and frustration because i won't say goodbye to him. i know none of you are trying to attack me. if i'm slow responding it's because i'm trying to keep myself from reacting in a bad way.
I appreciate your effort to control your reactions—I know that can be difficult and doing so is very kind of you. I also appreciate your recognition of the disconnect between what your brain is parsing and what we actually mean. and if it helps at all to have it written out, I am absolutely not angry with you. I really don't like being angry, and it doesn't happen a lot. I am just concerned for you and would like to help you feel better. and no, I'm not lying about not being angry to gloss over a problem; lying about emotions always turns out badly, I've learned.
I'm not angry at you, I'm angry at him for treating you this way. I'm also kinda of going through my own shit today so I probably shouldn't be giving advice anyway! But yeah, definitely not trying to attack you.
i fucked up i gotvupset and posted about him and exactly one form of contact with him has been removed
okay, I know you don't feel this way now, but even though he did that to punish you for your perceived transgression I think that in the long run you will very much benefit from not being in contact with him. in the interim I recognize that his doing that is upsetting for you and I'm very sorry about that.
we are still yelling. i am being mean. i am shaking and cannot blieve the way i'm talking to him. he is very angry.
just so you know, there is no way you're being as mean to him as he has been to you. and if you're just telling him about the abusive behaviors he's engaged in, that's not being mean; that's just being accurate.
It's okay to be angry. There are unhealthy ways to express anger, but anger itself is perfectly valid.
