breakup: bleh

sort of a mixed bag. i realized something.

.....he can, if he so chooses, ruin my life. and he would be within his rights to do so and i would deserve it. i can't say why because i want to stay here but he could ruin my life if he chooses to.

 

Is the way he can ruin your life telling other people about the thing you don't want to talk about?

 

yes.

 

I understand not wanting to say the thing, but there's a chance you could be catastrophizing, especially if it's something he used to control you. Without going into detail, can you tell me whether or not the thing you did was illegal?

 

it was illegal.

 

you don't know what it was, how can you ascertain whether it's 'worse'?

 

Were you underage when you did the illegal thing? Did you do it of your own free will or because he wanted you to?

 

no and....both sort of

 

How long ago was it? Do you think he remembers?

 

i know he remembers. i....don't know if i can say how long ago without giving more away because it wasn't an isolated event kind of deal.

 

Okay. I know I'm asking a lot of questions and I don't mean for you to feel pressured. Just trying to judge whether or not your fear is founded. If you want to tell me in PM what you did, I assure you I won't tell anyone else or judge you for it, but since you don't really know me, I understand if you don't want to.

All I can really do is hope that he doesn't use it against you, and that you don't use your fear of consequences to let him control you again.