clowntown daily dispatch (acey’s bejeweled baguette): currently screaming about fanfiction

alas, its murdered remains are incapable of learning anything :’(

 

i spent like 15 minutes looking for my glasses and uh

they were right fucking there on the nightstand. the only thing blocking my view of them was a soda can and that didn’t even FULLY block my view. i have no excuse

 

I have looked for my glasses when they were right there making my eye sight better (a.k.a. I was wearing them). I think we've all done weird things while looking for our glasses :P

 

Oh, big same and big agree! I just always feel like such a dunce when it happens, which I suspect is also normal. :P

 

WHAT IF I TOLD YOU THAT THE WORLD WAS GONNA END~

 

what, like the mayan calendar or y2k?

 

both of course

 

this was fun so let's do it again

 

life goal: follow tmbg around on tour

 

so one time in college, i was walking near my dorm, and this woman approached me

she looked and dressed like a fusion of amanda palmer and emilie autumn and i was immediately gay for her

she rambled at me for a bit in what might have been an affected english accent and i was so fucking smitten?? i actually put up a missed connections ad on craigslist looking for her, but sadly i never got a response. oh well

 

OH AND BUS GODDESS.

i was taking the bus downtown a couple years ago, and there was this lady on the bus who looked to be around my age who was absurdly beautiful. like. she may have actually been aphrodite tbh. she had light brown skin and very well-styled curly dyed light brown hair, and beautiful brown eyes, and freckles and the PRETTIEST mouth and the CUTEST nose, and her clothes just suited her perfectly

and i spent like 95% of the bus ride trying VERY hard not to stare at this unbelievably beautiful woman, and...kinda failing, but she didn’t seem to notice thankfully

when she got off, a few stops before me, i stopped her and was like “uhhhh sorry if this is weird but you’re incredibly beautiful” and she smiled this gorgeous smile and thanked me and said i was too

i am very gay

 

in this house we stan the crewniverse

 

And the former crew

 

i count them too!! we stan them All

 

i ordered this shirt and i am so fucking excited

 

i also ordered this shirt for myself (I LOVE THE COLORS THE LESBIAN FLAG COLORS WORK SO WELL WITH THAT AQUA BLUE <3)...


...and this one for my mom!! (prolly should've gotten the pullover style instead bc i think that would've been more Her but OH WELL she says she'll love it anyway, it's a surprise what's on it tho so shhhhhhhhh)

 

I love the tank top! Where did you find it?

 

if my mother's side of the family ever has a family reunion i'm absolutely wearing the lesbians for space socialism shirt to piss off my asshole right-wing fundie """relatives""" and i'll show them pics of my girlfriend and be like "this is my GIRLFRIEND who i am DATING in a GAY WAY and I LOVE HER :3"

because holy shit my mom's got some absolute dickweed relatives, including...

• her sister/cousin sherry (my mom was adopted by her biological aunt and her husband--my grammy and papa--so it's kind of a complicated situation in terms of terminology? she's biologically my mom's sister but her cousin by adoption), who voted for trump and has just become a HARDCORE trumpette asshat who my mom and i have disowned for...being a hardcore trumpette asshat. frankly that's enough for both of us. BUT she's not as bad as...
• her cousin benita, who literally said my mom only supports queer rights to "defend anna" (anna being my irl name)--which is completely untrue, my parents have both been outspoken allies to the lgbtq+ community since LONG before i was even born, much less out (or uh...aware i was gay, but that's a totally unrelated story)--and that i'm going to hell p much. and yet, SHE'S not as bad as...
• her cousin ben, who is a literal neo-nazi. seriously, HARDCORE alt-right. fuck him. (i mean fuck all of them but yeah)

and the latter two, along with my also-an-absolute-cunt of a cousin sara (her adoptive sister's daughter), barred my uncle kevin from my cousin bob's funeral--bob being one of sara's brothers--because of stupid petty drama about a different (and relatively recently deceased) relative, even though my papa--the deceased's fucking GRANDPA--really wanted kevin there. and my mom later learned that had she gone up there, she would've been barred too (over the same drama), even though she was HIS GODDAMN AUNT. like...my mom was fucking sobbing over that. and if you hurt my loved ones like that, i will never. ever. forgive you.

so yeah. if i ever see those bastards again, i am going to do everything in my fucking power to ~offend~ them, because their idea of "offensive" basically amounts to "me existing" and i don't like that. catch me kissing a girl bitches

 

It's from LookHuman--here's a link! It's also available in other shirt styles, but I really dug the turquoise with the white/reds/pinks color scheme, so I had to go for that. :P

(As a heads-up, the racerback tanks seem to run a bit large? I love the one I have, but I have to wear a bra with it or my tiddies fall out. XD I ordered the same size again this time, though, which kinda shows that I have maybe not...actually learned my lesson...whoops. Oh well, I think it'll actually look really cute with that black sports bra of mine...)

 

it is. 1:13 am in the morning

i should probably not be awake but here we are ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

...also yes, i notice now that "1:13 am in the morning" is redundant. that is probably proof that i should sleep but like...not feelin' it u know