Crow Puns And Other Bullshit

dermatology today to check out a sketchy mole and my god i'd rather chew my leg off than go. ;v; i was up half the night with my pulse hammering in my ears no matter how i laid down, and my legs are stiff as fuck. i know its important, but my god i don't wanna go. and ive gotta take a similarly long journey tomorrow for neurology. u g h.

 

okay! sketchy mole: removed! they said it's most likely nothing to worry about, but they wanted to take it off bc they Weren't Happy With It and the fact it'd changed so much. So now I'll be able to wear sandals easier too, no more rubbin' lol. the other moles all looked just fine, but he wants me to see someone yearly or so to keep track of things bc apparently I'm at risk. lighter eyes, loose family history, and i've already got a Lot of random dark little freckle moles in odd places that've already shown they can grow. like the one on the toe.

i almost kicked the nurse. 8D; she warned me it'd sting to get numbed, then burn. a sharp scratch and then burning for like 20 seconds. i prepared myself.

i was not prepared.

initial stick was Fine, then she went DEEPER and i yelped and reared my foot back. so i had to get stabbed twice and i cussed and clung to the table because "!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" like JESUS that fucking hurt. then it was totally numb and dead and still is so like. all worked out in the end i guess lmfao

8'D now i have to drag my ass out the same route TOMORROW... for neurologist.. to do a followup and to ask why i was having hard heavy throbbing in my head and weird finger twitching today.

 

...oh. hm. apparently i ruined one of my socks. the bandaid bled through at some point during the standing and walking. lame.

 

>:l how long is this numbing gonna last, it's Weird having half my toe asleep.

 

orz i woke up super fatigued and canceled my neurology appointment... and the next afternoon they were available is july 3rd. so im wait listed to see if they can get me in sooner. i feel like a loser but christ im so tired..

 

had a lil Implosion but i'm better now. i got the cat's water bowl cleaned and refilled, the backup bottle filled, reheated my bbq leftovers and made coffee and since i laid down i've not really been able to move so i'm just. chillin' while letting my legs phase in and out of the void from the feel of it. not as upset anymore. frustrated but not upset. i think the new med dosage is helping, that normally would've lasted a lot longer.

 

important announcement: kricket is laying on top of the blankets beside my legs and occasionally looks up at me like i hung the moon and stars before settling again. she is in perfect petting distance. she purrs sometimes, other times she does not, and instead just keeps looking at me with deep love and understanding.

if anything ever happened to this cat i would destroy a city block.

 

that's it, that's all it is, that's writing. the end.

 

fingers crossed lads. earlier i tried to get a copy of the tax return my own damn self after finding the old address aaaand... it suddenly just said it'd send it to the last address it had on file? so it'll either go to his parents house or try to send to the last apartment we were in. noooo fucking idea. so i filed a Moving thing from the old address to here, bc while im like 95% sure i did that before, i did it again just to be goddamn sure. so. yeet i guess.

either it'll come, or turn up somewhere else, but goddamnit i am getting the fucking thing.

 

woooo sketchy mole that was removed is safe and clear. just gotta keep an eye on the site to make sure it doesn't suddenly regrow, keep an eye on weird mole freckle on sole of foot, and keep a general eye on all the other dark spots i've got.

.... and need to be patient to wait for the stupid site to heal, too. 8l

 

ive had no energy today, but i've been spending it combing through instagram. i've been following comic artists, people with interesting styles who i enjoy, content i like. so many new people, so many different styles but all that are styles i personally make heart eyes at. it's really neat curating a list like that and then getting flashes of their lives on instagram stories. it's actually making me want to draw more, and maybe even try old ideas again.. scripting that comic out was really cathartic but i'm not quite ready to draw it yet. for one i still need to find a style i'm content drawing myself in. drawing yourself is super fucking hard when you have no sense of self?? it's hard to pick something that actually looks like me but feels like what gooey ball of confusion i associate with myself while looking at least kind of cute bc i dont think im an absolute appearance gremlin at least? very hard.

kaelen, though. kaelen i still love. i still care for him and his story, and it's not a story i can picture any other way than a comic. the down side is his world has so many architecture facets and shit i dont understand how to draw that it's intimidating lmfao. maybe i'll do some studies and make him interact with them so i can get used to drawing him and hone his design more.

 

locks got changed for all the apartments today, so that's nice. down side, we got Just Barely At Best 24 hour notice of the owners coming through to look at the units and decide what they wanna fix up. the place is. a heap, i am ngl. it's BadTM. i did a quick sweep tho and got some of the worst of it in one go, and the rest will follow fairly easily, it's bulky stuff. we're taking recycling after roomie gets home, and generally gonna tidy so they don't get pissy at us.

fatigue storm seems to be lessening, thank god. still tired. still tired FAST. but i can walk now.

 

cleaned more stuff, loaded dishwasher with gathered things, shuffled more stuff.

exhausted.

stopping till roomie arrives and we go out bc i will Die otherwise orz

 

loaded car with recycling. got through the store alright! carried my bag instead of using a cart. got out, aaaand... started to go slower and slower and slower..

we decided to take the recycling tomorrow. xD at least its packed already lmfao.

 

went thrift shoppin', got good stuff! some cute skirts, a few shirts, 3 pairs of shoes that fit nice, two small containers, a new re-usable coffee thermos that has a close option over the mouth hole, a bra and a Slightly Cursed Horse figurine that i'm p sure used to be attached to a rocker. he looks old and, as stated, slightly cursed. i love him.

 

also, fun fact: one of the skirts is a close enough shade of red to go with my godtier cosplay. right material too. i can paint a stripe down the side when i make my jammie pants and have Optional Godtier Skirt. it's the right length even lmfao

 

i tired myself the fuck out with that wheelchair yesterday from all the leg shuffling and the leg lifting and the hardcore arm exercises and i passed the fuck out at 10pm and didnt wake up till 10:30am how ya'll doin' today :dabs rlly fast:

 

I walked too fast to campus and caught the bus immediately and now I'm stupid early to my appointment sipping on a mango smoothie waiting to get called lmfao

 

WOOOOOOOO 'nother update, don't need to worry about the lil booger unless he physically grows more and causes noticeable local inflammation, doc said to ignore what the lab report said, the inflammation in the area is from my patella basically being Sideways like the pre-surgery leg was, not from the lump if you look super close. 8D so only thing to worry about on left leg is surgery in summer.

only down side is. well. the whole "yeah your kneecap is like. fucking itself against the Side instead of aligning worth a shit, whoops?" its kind of amazing to see on mri, like. it's not flat, bitch literally sideways like the other one was. no wonder my gait is stupid and my everything has always hurt and i dislocated like a mad bastard. not looking forward to how much this shit's gonna hurt tho, i am ngl. like. ://// Do Not Want. But... at the same time, getting it done'll fix my Everything and i won't really have issues till I'm much older.

summer is gonna be BUSY, man. like. Shit. roomie taking summer classes and having Job, and big convention, and Moving and now Surgery and alla that fun shit.

 

i also gained weight AGAIN and i'm pissy bc i can't tell if it's one of the Every Medicine I'm On That Can Cause Weight Gain or if it's the salt and fluids or if i snacked too much or WHAT. 8l