Crow Puns And Other Bullshit

Still moving. Progress:

Me last week: and I'll scrubbie everything before we leave
Me now: and as we lay dying I tell them to go fuck themselves

also the movers killed our wifi and AT&T can't put the new thing in till the fucking Tenth so RIP me I guess. posting this from local McDonalds we had dinner at lmfao.

 

to be fair everything in the unit has to be ripped out and replaced to catch up to the others anyway. So cat barf carpet which is connected to the same carpet that had mold in it for 6 months due to the active year long leak from the window? Not concerned. Marks on walls? Not worried. Not squeaky clean appliances? they're rusted the fuck out anyway and Barely Function. they can kiss my fat ass.

 

Marie Kondo is our spiritual guide for the next month or so as we wade through the wall to wall Stuff that now invades every room of new home as we put it away, yeet things, and donate things.

 

It's one of the few good things about moving- it's a good chance to go through stuff and decide how much you want it to follow you to your new home

 

that whole "force yourself to drop the perfectionism and just draw and doodle even if its all ugly as shit" theory is working. i blew through a pencil till it was golf size in just a few days and have like. nearly 30 pages worth of drawings done with the mass majority being post-move. im also now adding colored pencils in for doodling to change it up a bit. im pleased tbh? i think its having an effect. even if i draw something badly like 20 times and keep doodling the same faces they're improving each time so even the quickest sketch is more accurate. and no matter how fucky the anatomy of the doodle is i can SEE where it's wrong and how i'd correct it.

im pleased with myself rn.

 

i had my dental cleaning today after a long protracted night of anxiety about the entire visit. didn't get the filling done. turns out i need 3 fillings and a root canal, which i'll have done on the 30th instead bc they were short handed as heck and very packed, so no time. but ayy things were great otherwise. i treated myself to lunch afterwards, and dug in the bargain bin at barnes and nobles and came out with a nora roberts book and a cute alice in wonderland poster which combined cost me.... $3.75 at the till.

also got accosted by the Donate Money To The Homeless Dude. when i tried to say sorry bc i had no cash aside from my needed bus fare for the future on me, i'd paid with card, he said "Well sorry doesn't help the homeless, compassion does." and left to go get in everyone else's face. i remember him from like november. he did the same thing: stalk the street, get in people's face, shame them if they don't give him money. i know nothing about his organization, idk if the money is even going TO an organization for sure that exists, and anyone who does that to me or who gets in students faces then says "well i guess nobody cares about the homeless, i've had no donations all day" when they have no money to give him either is.. prolly not going to GET any of my money if i had any. :/

 

I do remember that when I was a student there were organizations that would hire idealistic students and train them in hard sell techniques, then send them out to prey on other students. Saving polar bears and ending dog fighting and shit. Not much money went to the actual causes, but they sure burned out aspiring activists like mad.

 

idk if its better or worse that this dude was a fellow in this early 40s from the look of him.

 

i slept like 3 hours and.. am now 100% wide the fuck awake. not even feeling sick anymore.

wild.

 

the anxiety and badfeels and other bullshit cropped up again earlier and hit a full blown sobbing episode. ....so i contacted psych. he doubled the bby dose of abilify on the spot. i matched the new mg with my bottle at home and took a nap after my friend talked me down. im feeling better, but whoof.

 

was almost $10 shorter in foodstamps than I thought I was when we went to aldis, so now my bank account is at a solid $15. Its almost the first but OOF I always start to panic when it dips under 100 and now its under 20 and its lowkey anxiety time.

very low key tho.
i've got dentist tomorrow, for fillings and root canal and im... not bothered tbh? not really at least. it's more like "oh, that's a thing i guess. yeah ok."
ty mood stabilizer, its a difference of fucking night and day.

 

got the big cavity filled. was gonna get the other one done and the root canal but uh. some shit went down at the dental office.

first a woman came in suddenly demanding a tooth be pulled because it was hurting her badly. she didn't want it saved, she wanted it OUT. RIGHT then. was grumbly but accepted xrays and eventually numbing. this was done by having to walk away from me mid-filling twice, bc she was the only dentist on hand today with minimal assistants.

then the front desk woman disappeared, and had misscheduled a few fillings appointments as cleanings for today.

then the front desk woman was still gone, with no warning or knowledge of anyone else, and a huge group of people stacked up.

so by the time we got the one big filling done, my numbing had ran out on the back tooth and the root canal needing one... and since she said i'd need to schedule for next week or beyond for the root canal at this point bc of everything happening at once due to me not being in pain at all, i said "Hey, the other thing is small and only hurts when i eat cold things, since the filling popped out back there. can we just... do them at the same time? same part of mouth, even. would be useful.

and the lights came on in her eyes and her expression looked like she was so relived bc she agreed immediately that it was a good idea. SO. one big filling: done. teeny one and a root canal on a non-painful tooth ahoy.

 

man i ate earlier and now im just fucking Starved still and idk why
what gives, this is stupid. >:U

 

metabolic jumpstart: and go?

I've had it happen on days when I eat breakfast before, at least. Everything seems to perk up and go "An food! GIVE MORE"

 

eh, idk tbh. ive been starved all day, just happens to me sometimes i guess.

also i just took ibuprofen bc i can't tell if this is a migraine or depression, which is really weird tbh.

 

oh, yep, its migraine with depression aura lm f a o fuck me

 

i forgot to say im home again, as of last night. i was drifting in and out by the time my meds came and after a very lomg attempt I KOed
please excuse the typos im kinda drugged rn and cant e assed to fic them

i have child veins apparently. they tried an iv in the left hand, 20 gauge, ad it failed. they used a baby 22 on the right hand and said once i was asleep they'd try putting a larger one in somewhere to not distress me further, but it looks like it also failed bc i have two more bruises on my left forearm lol. and anotheer at my right elbow for my last blood draw in hospital. the dude used a vein finder to make it quick and easy bless him.

the food was great, i'm stronger than last time. im on crutches. i had a rough nighs sleep last night and using the toilet is EXHAUSTING but im doing the thing out of sheer rage tbh. no motion machine this time! :D

negatives aside from all the bruises is "oh god the front of my crotch hurts so bad on both sides", "my right hand keeps going numb bc of my elbow, this sucks", and "the painkiller is workinng att aking the edge off but i keep going crosseyed and almost sleepoing

 

recovery post surgical poking day.... 3? i had it on the 26th so i guess this is day 3.

peeled my bandages off, letting my leg air, keeping the tapes in tact. gently keep moving leggy in different positions, partly bc i need to and partly bc im a stubborn fuck and this "you can only move so far if at all" bull aint gonna last me long. gonna try to shower later when roomie is home in case i fall or something. should go fine, tho, tbh.

much ouch. many much ouch. i keep doing a few things then napping for a while then doing more when i wake up. meds make me crosseyed, and general fatigue makes me crosseyed. idek man, its just... Ouchies.

 

me: :disgusted and upset that all im doing is eating and sleeping and that i can barely move:
also me: YOU JUST HAD SURGERY STUPID, LIKE. LESS THAN A WEEK AGO YOU HAD SURGERY. LIGHTEN THE FUCK UP, SLEEP ALL YOU WANT, IT'S GOOD FOR YOU RN.

 

Healing takes fucktons of energy, you snooze and eat as much as you feel like! I remember after I had surgery in high school I would fall asleep mid-sentence, and I didn't have any other health complications