Crow Puns And Other Bullshit

ive been binging horror movies since i dont have the strength or focus to draw much yet. its also been taking my mind off how slowly time passes sometimes, or how frustrated i am that i can move but only kinda move.

 

had a solid night of ridiculously vivid dreams, whoof.

 

tmi gross but

Spoiler: icky

the thing i thought was a stretch mark from surgery swelling was actually some kind of blood blister full of surgical rinse too.. so like. when i popped it i got a weird slug of blood out but my fingers are all orange at the tips now even post hand disinfectant. gross gross gross.

 

more gross

Spoiler: unrelated icky

A SOLID WEEK OF TWICE DAILY STOOL SOFTENERS HAVE SO FAR GIVEN ME LIKE... ONE DECENT BOWEL MOVEMENT. TILL NOW. the back owed bowel movements came. and came. and came. and came all at once while i was trapped in an uncomfortable position bc of the leg but my god do i feel better for it. shaky and dizzy and light headed and drenched in sweat but i feel at least 5 lbs lighter, no exaggeration.

 

now that im aware it's the meds fucking with my brain, i feel better about it. it's less overwhelming slipping into the sads and more "oh, i feel down but its the medicine's fault, this is dumb" and subjective rather than like.. an actual mood hitting me.

its kind of weird when you take a step back just how many things can look like they're lining up against you when they're honestly not even related in the slightest. i can see how it'd be overwhelming "evidence" that everything was bad and awful and fucked, when really it's just timing or something else and coincidence.

 

guess who has 2 thumbs and tastes of opioid withdrawals after only 2 weeks. barely slept well last night, kept waking up, and then today ive got nausea and some stomach upset and feeling antsy for no damn reason. gimme a break.

 

Oh no :^( when my dad went through withdrawals after he broke his leg it was basically hell, I’m so sorry pal.

 

it double sucks bc i think i actually Do still need them at least at night but it was fucking so badly with my head its not rlly worth it to me to start back up atm. :< the side effects seem to be mostly gone already thankfully, but oof.

 

i get my stiiiitches out, i get my stiiiiitches out
in just a few more hours i get my stiiiitches out

 

my stitches were super healed so the things put up a fight on coming out, but came out cleanly thankfully. the odd blister i got on my leg was from the break, surprisingly? apparently thats just a thing that happens sometimes. ive never heard of it before now. xrays were just fine, everything's great.

the only down side was just getting TO the dr fucking murdered me where i stand. i was faint and wobbly in the waiting room so i had to use a wheelchair to get upstairs and through xrays and stuff. i made it home dead eyed and exhausted and still am.

also the doc said i can switch to tylenol arthritis to deal with the night pain, bc its 650mg and slow release. i can take two tablets of it.

i also almost broke the cat's tail when i got home, bc i closed the door and she just stuffed her ass into it at the last second.

 

Oh no why kitty? Why?! Glad her tail was unbroken. That’s such a terrible feeling when you are suddenly confronted with a worst case scenario of the sheer size and strength difference between an adult human and a house cat.

Congratulations on being able to switch over to tylenol. I’m happy the doctor was understanding.

 

couldnt wear my immobilizer today bc it just falls the fuck off if im wearing anything on my leg. like. pants? forget it, it'll slip off even on the tightest setting :/ band goes right over the knee, makess it worthless. told the PT dude and he said to bring the thing in next time and we'll try to jury rig it so it stays up, and if that fails we'll talk to the people who do the braces in the building and see what my options are.

turns out im not just dealing with the broken bone. everyone's knee has a little groove that the kneecap is meant to work with. i dont have any grooves on either side. on top of that, on this knee theres no ridge on the outer edge of it. so theres just kinda.. nothin' there. floating shit. so i have to be super careful while this one heals just in case it makes it fail by slipping

 

me: :< i feel icky and im not sure how to deal with it or why its happening
half my friends: :llllll you do realize you feel icky... bc you had a big ass surgery recently right?? ? ? ????
me: :O oh yeah

 

Ain’t that a mood. “Whyyyyyy do I feel so baaaaaaad?????” Oh yeah it’s Obvious Reason.

 

goes right up there with "local human eats a food for first time in literal hours, magically feels better, press alerted to news of the fucking miracle"

 

so i walked a lot today when im not meant to be walking b u t i

• went thrift shopping and got bras and cute things
• got freebies from the university, including bulldog clips
• got my meds
• went to michaels and got some goodies on sale
• ate fish and chips and had a great time with roomie who was depressed
• got to come home, put my leggies up and get loved on by my kitty.

i am so fucking exhausted and everything kinda hurts but yknow what
i feel good.

eta: i used wheelchairs when i could! i wasn't walking the entire time i promise

 

It sounds like it was a good day! Glad to hear you got the chance to get out and have some fun, and hopefully not overstress the legy

 

im feeling yesterday lmfao
was in a funk for a few hours and couldn't figure out wtf was wrong
im overheated for some reason from a two hour nap and i cant seem to entirely cool down which is lame, im eating e v e r y t h i n g i can reach as if im starved

tada, apparently it was just yesterday rubbing into today, duh

 

shuffle hobbled a bag of trash outside and waved at the neighbor who was on her stoop with someone and the dude asked how my leg was and then said a few empathetic times "You'll be okay."

ty dude, i feel it.

 

im more than 2/3 through the first math book and ive got a b average on self testing, holla