Crow Puns And Other Bullshit

ciao. B) guess who survived their first fucking italian class? i even participated a lot! willingly! once i got used to zoom and stopped being so anxious, at least. this feels a lot LOT better than being in an in person class, holy shit. what a relief. i was comfortable the entire time instead of feeling all my blood slowly drain into my legs. let's see, what else... i forgot how fucking FAST italians speak, jfc. im not feeling as scared and lost as i was during french class, thankfully, so uh. hopefully that continues.

also i found out my grandpa had a cardiac arrest a week ago???? and nobody told me??? till now???? ? ? ? ? ?? ???? he's doing better, it was bc his blood got too thick, and he had next to no side effects because my aunt did CPR till the ambulance arrived. but godDAMN I'm on edge now.

 

congrats on the class going well!!! :D

 

hate math. ://// hate it so much. and there's so much of it this semester, ugh. gross.

 

slowly but steadily trying to claw some equilibrium from my class schedule for free time. by my calculations, once i do some math work tomorrow, study italian and take a biology quiz, i should, SHOULD, be a free bird for several hours.

.... that oooooor i could draw a bit tonight and see how i feel. idk tbh, we'll see what the mouse doodles and inspiration say tonight. id normally be asleep by now, but i have a headache and some nausea. ...mmaybe i should wait till tomorrow after all, stay relaxed and chill so i'll sleep soon instead of throwing my focus onto a screen. :/c

 

the 21 pages of biology notes i took before school started are USELESS :D I'm better off studying the study guide the teacher provides after printing it out. Also, jfc I have to memorize every part of an animal cell for the first test. I couldn't even remember them all in highschool, my plasticity is lower now, How Do lmfao.

in better news, i woke up at 6:30, was up by 7, showered by 9, and now ive got a cat on my lap and a juicy cherry candle burning away next to me. life is good.

 

lap cats GOOD!!

also apologies for not getting back to you about recipes last night, forgot to remind my mom before going to bed—my bad! i’ve reminded her now though so hopefully i’ll be sending some recipes your way today c:

 

Sure thing! Wasn't in a huge rush tbh, I wouldn't really be able to start a lot of the attempts till later in the week anyway since we already did our grocery shopping for now. c:

 

idk why i didnt think of this sooner but
i just invested in a heavy duty back massager
im gonna be such a happy noodle in a week
im so excited i could throw up omfg

 

pro: energy and focus today! did lots! did dishes, sorted laundry, took trash out, cleaned litterbox, tidied up, showered, have eaten two meals, taken my meds on time, studied, did homework, did a quiz.

con: energy and focus today! need to take a break to avoid burnout, cannot seem to actually obtain my chill. I'm so used to having NO energy that suddenly having energy is like. Hard to balance. How do people handle this having energy bullshit, my "DO ALL THE THINGS BEFORE IT DISAPPEARS, QUICK, HURRY" signal is screaming in my head.

 

so with this Extra Energy has come.... the hurdle of extra energy and sitting still and focusing being a problem, but i have found a fidget spinner and a legend of zelda stress ball i invested in in the past and i think im gonna be gucci during biology tomorrow. at least in italian we move fast enough and have to take notes that there's no time to NOT be stimulated. I've also been getting the excess out with exercise to take the edge off.

like. i'd draw? but if i draw i zone the fuck out, because i can't listen and draw at the same time, so it's. not ideal. i only doodle during breaks. this should help.

 

found out what happens when i miss my night dose of ziprasidone: ENERGY OUT THE ASS, ENERGY SO I CAN'T SLEEP, RACING THOUGHTS, TIME FOR JUMPING JAAAAACKS

1:30am me was tired and not amused. took the pill. passed out within 15 minutes, save for a brief cardboard box serenade by my cat.

 

god what a mood

 

im up early bc my kitty woke me up at 5am lmfao. but it's fine, i got like 6.5 hours of sleep so i'll be okay. im just annoyed, i aint got no business being up this goddamn early. she also broke one of my apple earrings i made. :/// gonna have to glue its tiny leaf back on...

ah. right. i started making some brooches. c: i get the pinbacks in like a week or so, and earring parts too! so im making animal crossing characters and little animals and mushrooms as practice and as finished pieces. im excited, its fun to do crafts like this again.

ALSO GREAT ACCOMPLISHMENT: WALKED THROUGH A STORE LAST NIGHT AND DIDN'T BECOME A MASSIVE BALL OF SWEAT AUTOMATICALLY. EVEN KEPT MY HOODIE ON.

 

gained a pound and a half this week apparently. though it's such a small amount that could be linked to water weight due to suddenly exercising, ne? still, was kind of :< at seeing it. bummer.

 

If it helps, fluctuations of a couple pounds are completely normal—my own weight can vary by as much as five pounds (in either direction) depending on when in the day I weigh myself, and from everything I’ve heard it’s not something you need to worry about too much.

I totally get the frowny face at seeing the increase, though. :(

 

yeah its like "motherfucker im working here 8/////" but i know it'll catch up. im aiming to try doing one hour of pedaling a day, now that i can do 15 minute spurts. they're hard but i can do them and im not needing my inhaler or in pain afterwards so im taking it as Good Discomfort. I feel relaxed afterwards as a bonus, helps get rid of stress energy. C: and if i can crush a watermelon between my thighs in the meantime, so be it. B)

 

That sounds like a good way to go about it! And yeah, that sounds like typical post-exercise discomfort to me. Congrats on your progress!! c:

 

me @ my math homework that's due tonight that I'm stuck on

 

THAT TOOK UNCOMFORTABLY LONG AND STUMPED TWO OF MY FRIENDS IN THE MEANTIME, AND NOW MY HIPS HURT. >:U im holding math responsible for my woes.

 

5am cat 2: electric boogaloo. Kricket woke me up at 4:48 again, serenading me with the soda boxes. Kept trying to sleep till 5:30, gave up.

Rode 11 minutes this morning. Felt dry heaves afterward? My throat got really dry and I got nauseated and dry heavy for some reason. Looking it up seems common for high intensity exercises, esp without warmups but like... this IS considered a warmup. No other pain or anything. Just the 5 minute wall and then counting down in increments afterwards. (I accidentally kept combining the word intermittent and increments...) Discomfort in my thighs and above my knees, but I know its just the muscles. That I'll get stronger. None of it is "holy fuck pain" aside from maybe my hip, but i need to be doing this no matter what bc it'll help in the longrun.