Crow Puns And Other Bullshit

oh yeah, i forgot. i experimented in tea last night. black tea w/ orange, cinnamon + clove. i had it with sugar and some milk. my only regret is it needed More milk, but otherwise was delightful. c: I'm gonna make a big pot of fruity tea once i rest off this shower tho. juuuust need to get myself moving again. i took out my trash and scooped the litter before too, so need to Breathe for a second. it's full steam forward today, lads.

i'm also super happy my roomie had a great day too. she got out of the house, saw friends she hasn't seen in like a Year, ate tasty things, pet a dog. All kinds of shit that made her happy, and that honestly makes me thrilled tbh. I worry about her a lot, it makes me glad when things go nice for her in some kind of way.

 

just about midnight is absolutely the time to shove two avocados mashed up with lemon juice, salt, pepper and garlic in ur face. also inhaled: a bit of turkey sausage, and a single lone taco shell used as chips. i am also nibbling some grapes.

my timing today was so thrown off, but Hunger awoke and it seemed a good idea to nom on the fresh stuff before it went bad.

 

Weather for tomorrow: -3 w/ a -27 windchill
Also tomorrow: PT I can't miss bc I missed yesterdays like a goon and I need help for this lower back/hip bullshit if this is the last session + i need to find out
Also Also tomorrow: me excited to brave the cold like a well wrapped gremlin for Adventure Walkies a half mile home, and potentially a half mile to the school before the appointment if i feel up to it instead of getting a ride from roomie bc the bus that runs by my house isn't gonna be running tomorrow bc classes were canceled and it's a non-essential route.

The cold sucks, yeah, but like. It makes my legs constrict more and makes it easier for me to walk around without pots symptoms. And when I inevitably overheat bc What Is Temperature Regulation inside my layers, I can pop my zipper down a little bit so I don't make it worse by Sweating in bitter cold bc that's a big no-no in the long run. I'll also have coffee as a winning gesture, so like. What the fuck do I have to lose, y'dig?

All my friends: :LOUD CONCERN NOISES AT THE VERY IDEA I'D WANT TO LEAVE THE HOUSE:

 

I DID
THE THING
I DID THE THING
I DID IT I DID IT I DID IT
I AM UNFUCKINGSTOPPABLE, KISS MY ASS WINTER, KISS MY ASS FUCKED UP BODY
I AND MY CARAMEL MACCHIATO MADE IT THE FUCK BACK HOME IN ONE PIECE

Tore shit the fuck UP at PT in my pajimjams, pushed past my comfort zone, got on the bus in the freezing ass cold as the only passenger to campus, got off, got my fucking coffee AND JUST KEPT FUCKING GOING

I got home overheated, exhausted and gasping for breath on top of being dizzy but I FUCKING MADE IT I DID MY FULL PT OF KICKING MY OWN ASS AND THEN WALKED A HALF GODDAMN MILE IN BITTER FUCKING COLD, and then i got to eat yummy ass garlicky spinach avocado dip and bagel and a fresh orange and I FEEL LIKE I COULD PUNCH THE SUN

 

my brain was all over the place today and i didn't get much of anything else done
but i got 2k words written.
i'll take it.

 

i wanted to take brief walk today to get cofve and maybe breakfast on campus, or even short walk to bus to get some steps in. however, i woke up with leg ouch and it's being very bitchy at me. also lowgrade headache bein' a dick. seems my body's conspiring to keep me safe and all, bc uh. it apparently snowed a good deal, but i lack snowboots. it's below freezing out (many times warmer than last time i went walkies though so shrug??) and generally slick out. roomie says its sacrificing the leg to keep the whole safe lmfao.

 

i felt daring and wanted a challenge. so. now that its nice out, i put on my hoodie and walked to campus. i wanted some iced coffee as walkies reward (their frozen buckeye mocha is fucking divine jfc) and i wanted to try out that bibibop place i'd seen for ages and never went into. gonna eat some here shortly. the challenge was: no buses today. no weekend bus service for my neighborhood to campus, so the .5 mile walk turned into a 1 mile walk. whiiiich... was a half mile too much. xD i'm absolutely dead and my pulse was sitting at about 180bpm for a good forty minutes, so i'm very much dead now and will be recovering all day.

but the good news is my leg held up great. no pain/discomfort till near the very end. my main problem has just been the POTS being a bastard, but hey, that's normal for me. at least i got confirmation that leg is Gr8 now and that, yes, even if I feel p good while laying back I'm still fragile when upright. i was about to pass out by the time i started to come home, even with resting stops.

though. uh. there is one other issue that's upsetting me and im wondering if any other plus size folks have advice?

Spoiler: tmi/kinda gross

Spoiler: no seriously

i sweat.. so much. like. huge rings under the boobs, under the arms, and worst of all between the legs. like. it fucking looks and feels like i've wet myself if i didn't know better, and no amount of Moisture Wicking Underwear or anything does jack shit for it. soaks right through the underwear and the pants alike and chaffes like a mad bastard and generally makes me feel really gross and embarrassed. :/ it's super unpleasant but idk what to do to help myself? i sweat there so fucking easily, drop of a hat. anyone with similar issues and ideas on how to handle that aside from "magically change your undies every single time you notice the issue even if you're out of the house and nowhere able to do that + not wanting to wander around with sweaty underwear in your purse in a plastic bag like a heathen????????

 

finished the coffee, ate my meal and managed a piping hot shower. now to stave off nap urge with a stick so i sleep at a decent time tonight.

but shit that meal was delicious??? purple rice, black beans, bean sprouts, sesame kale, melty cheese, lettuce, spicy chicken, terriyaki sauce... Hhhhhhhhhhh and a bigass portion i shoveled down with chopsticks. man. the campus kitchen has something Similar??? but not really? and not nearly as fucking tasty, like. that was under $8 and was a fucking delight and was a massive bowl full that wasn't mostly rice, and was piping hot. other one is cold and doesn't have nearly as many ingredients. good for a one stop kinda situation but in the future im def gonna be getting a meal from there or the subway if im getting a meal. gotta check out the greek place next tho :9 im always a slut for gyros.

 

oh hey, i found the dude i'm seeing in like... 2 weeks. talking about my issues. :V CMON MAN, HOOK ME UP WITH THE GOOD JUJU, SHIT'S WRECKING MY LIFE.

 

i just realized this fellow has Hussie brand lips and for some reason i find this insanely amusing.

 

[2:54 PM] TheMockingCrowcicles: me: exercise bike at beginning of session destroyed me, pulse almost 160 and drenched in sweat: IM READY TO GO ON COACH 8D
pt dude: :checks my pulse and blood pressure after i rest a few minutes: 90/53 no you Aint. 8ll
[2:54 PM] TheMockingCrowcicles: so im not dead after pt today, we went easy =7=
[3:00 PM] SnowGoats❄: Lmfao good job ryn
[3:05 PM] TheMockingCrowcicles: yuuup. hes also cool enough to be recording my numbers now which is New
[3:05 PM] TheMockingCrowcicles: nobody's ever tested my info after physical activity before
[3:05 PM] TheMockingCrowcicles: bc they're been so concerned with the baselines and dont see it in full force when i try being active.
[3:06 PM] TheMockingCrowcicles: :Y so he's gonna track my numbers way more often on friday and we'll get a much better picture of what happens when im active when i see the pots doctor

 

jfc. i literally just inhaled an entire can of fat free refried beans w/ a bit of cheese. like. the entire can is now gone. i inhaled it once it was heated. more precisely i heated it up and had to leave it while we went to the store really quickly, BUT I DIGRESS. that and One (1) orange were my only food today so??? yeah i can see why i was so hungry. down side tho, i ate too quickly and now i'm best buds with a mild stomach ache while it settles. 8lllll lame.

i was keeping an eye on myself in the store too, though, and it's still strange to think that when my head's throbbing and feels inflated... my blood pressure is actually LOW, not high. it's a head rush of everything my body can throw at me, but it's still low pressure fighting to keep blood in the brain so i don't faint. good job, body, i'm sorry you're so borked but i'm also stoked to learn a bit more about what all's ticking in there.

 

so cute

 

I Fucked Up By Accident, Oops

I got two decent sized sweet potatoes when we went shopping. Earlier today, I baked them till they were delightful and soft. I ate one hot out of the oven with a bit of salt. Hours later, I ate the other one. ....and then felt dizzy and nauseated like i hadn't eaten. i was so confused, today i ate two big potatoes, some grapes, two coffees... and then i sat and squinted at the calories and went "OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

so i ate ice cream and now i don't feel sick anymore lmfao.

 

doing better today. just sleeby and kind of =w=???? @ the world but doing better
sorry if i worried anyone, that Just Kinda Happens Sometimes but its not nearly as often as it used to be
ty risperidone and duloxetine

 

.... >:lc okay this weird feeling has lasted legit all day no matter what i do and im very confused by it. it's like getting clues from a dog
what is it lassie? what is it girl? is it cerebral hypoprofusion? is it a migraine? is it just general POTS bullshit? is it brainmeats? is it braingremlins? is something else wrong? am i getting sick? did i not eat enough of something specific i didn't know i needed to eat more of? am i just unlucky? did little timmy fall in a well??

 

APPARENTLY ALL I DID INDEED NEED... WAS SOMETHING RIDICULOUSLY SALTY... instant onion soup, a can of pineapple, and a blueberry bagel w/ cream cheese for dindin. and now i'm Fine. no more weird head feeling. i guess i was low pressure after all? and that's how i was feeling?? I COULD'VE FELT BETTER SO MUCH SOONER. 8L LAME.

 

see also: standing at all. standing in general. walking at a gentle pace. chillaxing with my legs down too long. 8U etc