Customer Service Thread

I just had a customer call to complain about trying to place an order online, saying it was too complicated now and she didn't like that it "wouldn't take the numbers she typed in."

When I asked if there was anything I could do to help, she said she didn't want to talk, she had to get to work, and was going to try to place the order again.

Then I got a call from her again. Apparently she's having problems with the automated prescription refill system, so have two other customers this morning. We've been open for 40 minutes. This is gonna be happening a lot today.

Also- our automated refill system is by phone, not online. You weren't online, ma'am.

 

The best thing I have ever heard at work was when I was in the bathroom on break and from a couple stalls over i heard a little girl crying and a woman say "I'm not mad at you because you pooped your pants. I'm mad because you've been potty trained for three years."

 

Couple of weeks ago: reseller sends artwork her customer wants turned into a full-color, full bleed (that means "it goes all the way to the edges" for those unfamiliar with the term) namebadge. Okay.

Badge blanks we can do this on are made of a fiberglass-reinforced heat-resistant plastic, because the process involves sticking them in a 400-degree heat press for a couple of minutes. This stuff will mangle a regular saw, so cutting our own to size would require special equipment we don't want to drop $$$$ for. Luckily, the art is proportioned just right for a 3" x 1 1/4" blank, so I do that.

Customer is unhappy, wanted a bigger badge. Hoo boy. I explained that if they wanted this, they would need to rejigger their artwork to fit those proportions. They agreed to do so.

Customer sent new artwork yesterday... that is literally nothing but the old artwork stretched vertically to 3x2. there is a photograph of a child on this badge. The child now looks like the daughter of Plastic Man. Apparently they are okay with this.

 

Last night, someone placed two orders for a total of over 3000 photos. We haven't had someone do this shit since Christmas. I got to work at 6 AM to find 1200 photos sitting in piles on the counter. The last photo clerk didn't even box them up, or print enough labels for them, which took around ten minutes. Fuck you, customer, and fuck you too, coworker.

 

I literally had to explain to a man how to buy socks for his son over the phone the other day. Also he didn't seem to understand how phone conversations work. My manager answered the phone first. The man asked him if he worked in the clothing department, and my manager said no, but he could transfer the call. The customer agreed.

I meant to grab the call but missed it, which means it bounced back to the main phone. I rushed over there to try and find my manager explaining once again that no, he didn't work in the clothes department, but you know what, he might be able to help using our digital inventory system (note: this almost never works in the clothing department). Well, dude starts rambling about how no, it has to be someone in the clothing department.

At this point my manager looks up and sees me. He tells the dude 'here, someone from our clothing department is here' and thrusts the phone at me. I greet Dude Who I Can Already Tell Is Going To Be My Punishment Of The Day and ask what I can help with.

Dude starts telling me this long, painstakingly slow story about how he called the store and a MAN answered (this bothered him for some reason) and he wanted to talk to me but then my manager picked up again and offered to check our inventory system and why didn't he do that the first time and then he handed the phone to me and why did he hand the phone to me?

Bear in mind, our main phone is super loud. I could hear the guy insisting to my manager that he talk to someone in the clothing department.

Either way, the dude wanted to buy socks for his son but didn't understand the process. When I tried to explain that it's by shoe size, the response I kept getting is 'but how do I know it will fit?' he made me go check the sock displays MULTIPLE TIMES because he didn't believe me when I said boy's socks start at the gap sizes between toddlers and mens and end at the smallest mens size socks. He also didn't understand what that meant. He kept saying 'so it goes from a 5T to a 4 mens? That can't be right.' well, it isn't, BECAUSE THAT'S NOT WHAT I FUCKING SAID.

Because I had to keep running back and forth to grab packages of socks so I could read the labels exactly as they are to him, we had to put him on hold. He asked me at one point why I couldn't take the phone with me. I explained that I couldn't because it's fastened into the wall. His response?

'(long pause)... The phone?' no, my leg actually. To get over to the boys socks someone has to unscrew me, and I don't want you to have to hear me screaming in agony. YES THE PHONE. 'Not the socks?' oh no, those are too. Obviously we don't want anyone to buy them.

I explained I meant the phone.

'The phone... Is screwed... Into the wall?' YOU SOUND LIKE YOU'RE TWICE MY AGE. AT SOME FUCKING POINT YOU HAVE SEEN A LANDLINE PHONE.

All in all, it was a ten minute conversation and when it was over I could tell the dude didn't understand what was said to him multiple times. I don't know if he ever actually came in but honestly, I hope he didn't. His son clearly needs the intervention of a competent relative.

 

Can you imagine having a phone without a cord in a store, tho. It would get lost ALL THE TIME, it would be a recipe for disaster.

 

We have one of those too. I've lost it more times than I can count. I basically have to find a way to jam it in my pockets and hope for the best.

 

I've worked two places with cordless phones. It was a disaster.

 

That's why we don't have headsets for the pharmacy drive thru.

 

So the other day I had a customer for a very long time. I didn't keep specific track because he had me running around too much to check the time, but my awed and horrified manager did. He was with me for seven hours. How.

 

How is that possible??

 

One of the fitting rooms smells like straight up alcohol and I think they stole a bottle of cologne and spilled it on one of the shirts. Today already sucks and now I wanna give up.

 

A good solid chunk of that 7 hours? Me explaining and re-explaining our sales, then showing him how it would ring up in the system, then explaining it again, then explaining it to his wife when she came in and listening to them bicker about it and then explaining AGAIN

I am a very patient person. It's kind of my superpower, so I was able to do this and still stay nice and friendly and smiling, and then do it for ANOTHER hour and a half the next day when he came to get his tailoring, but fucking christ.

 

How can someone shop at one store for seven hours? What is wrong with them? Why did he hate you, aside from because he's a man?

 

The one thing that pisses me off more than anything (well, not true. Everything pisses me off) is when a customer comes up to me and doesn't even bother with your standard pleasantries, "hi, how are you, blah blah blah," they just immediately start telling me what they want. I work at a food counter inside a grocery, so I get the best of both worlds re: retail and food service.

Yesterday, a lady just walks up, ignore my greeting, and proceeds to order a massive amount of food before walking away. I'll give you a side of manners with it, no charge.

 

...i don't know if it's just where i live or what, but retail and food service employees tend to get a bit weirded out if someone offers any pleasantries longer than a single word of greetings.

 

I live in the South, and work at a chain that only exists in the South for that exact reason. Part of our shtick is that we say hello to every customer if they come within ten feet. It's not uncommon for customers to just flat out hug me, just because they think I look shy or bored or whatever.

If you want an even more extreme example of coastal differences, one of my professors went to Disney Land (that's the California one, for anyone that's not familiar), and the employees were uncomfortable because she was too nice. Most people here consider it rude if you go to a retail or customer service employee and don't at least ask them how their day is. No one actually cares, mind, it's just part of your standard greeting.

 

I actually read about this recently I feel like, it's a huge regional cultural difference (how much small talk with an employee is expected before getting to the point) I find it pretty interesting.

I live in the Northeast and I feel a bit annoyed if someone doesn't say "hello" or "excuse me" before they launch into whatever but if they tried to actually engage with me like that I'd be weirded out. Apparently it tends to correspond to latitude and population density re: how much you're supposed to chitchat.

It took me a while to adjust, actually, because our store is very close by to a Russian grocery store and so we get a lot of their customers. They will just immediately say what they're there for without any pleasantries because small talk with employees is just...not a thing culturally I guess? Apparently being overly polite is seen as insincere and a bit creepy.

 

Ime, as a customer service person in the south, it also varies dramatically by age. People under 30 will generally say hello and how are you and then get to whatever they need - I prefer this, personally, because I'll often have the phone ringing off the hook while I have clients in front of me on busy days. People 30-50 will generally make a small bit of conversation while interaction is happening - I'm waiting for the computer to think about whatever I asked it to do so they'll talk about the architecture or an upcoming holiday or ask what's good to eat around here, etc. People 50 and over want to have a long, in-depth conversation about their health, the new car/boat/house/pet they got, their children, etc., and it's very hard to break off when I have another customer to get to. I don't mind on slower days too much, but I also am not going to retain the intimate details of strangers' lives.

 

For me personally, I Want to be polite, but sometimes I'm trying to line up my words mentally so I don't trip or forget them and I don't always remember the polite ones first
So sometimes I'll start part way through, pause—"Oh my gosh I'm sorry, hi, how are you??"—and continue after they respond
it's Embarrassing but most people don't seem to mind horribly much