Customer Service Thread

Oh, yeah, I assume it was just a personal problem with that guy, that or something he hears often enough to warn people about it.

 

I have to confess that I actually like the customer service part of my job. I know this makes me a terrible IT person; somehow I got off-track and actually mellowed in the industry.

I mean yes humans are annoying, but they do give you something to complain about. Seriously though, helping people with this stuff is as rewarding as it is frustrating.

You want to really trigger a rant, talk to me about shitty UX. It's something I've grown increasingly passionate about over the years.

People do a shitty job of capturing user intent, they make processes needlessly bureaucratic and techwanky, undiscoverable, redundant and hideously poorly-communicated.

(Oh look, you triggered a rant)

There's a failure mode very common in people seeking IT support; instead of coming to you with a problem they need help solving, they come to you with a solution they need help implementing. Trouble is, it's usually the wrong solution - and you have to spend ages trying to unpick why they hell they want you to do X, and reverse engineer six layers of flawed assumptions to realize they are really having a problem with Y, before you can do Z which will actually do what they need. They went half a mile down the wrong track before asking for help, and working out where they were trying to get to in the first place can be really hard.

(As a way-too-easy example, 'Please install more RAM in my computer' - because they're over disk quota on the file server.)

Shitty UX is that same failure mode applied to systems design. You get people who are far too close to the implementation designing the interaction, and they get stuck on low level trying to do instead of high level want to achieve.

The thing is, designing systems is their actual job and area of expertise, and affects far more people's lives than just their own, so dammit I have higher expectations of them.

And yet when normal users (whose job is NOT to reverse-engineer this kind of thinking) are unable to puzzle their way through it... people laugh at them and treat them like idiots for it.

And that's just shitty.

I first really got a bug up my ass about this when I read this supremely obnoxious and snotty article, which lists a dozen ways that users are stupid and worthless because they can't do basic problem-solving for themselves.

The thing is, every single example boils down to shitty UX and/or learned helplessness because of shitty UX.

Take for example the user who, on login, clicks through the dialog complaining that it can't connect to the AD server because the host is unreachable, and doesn't realize the network must therefore be unplugged? Totally their fault, uh huh.

Not the generations of software popping up useless little boxes you have to say 'OK' to to get on with what you're doing. Not the generations of frustrated IT people waving their hands and telling them 'yes yes, just click through all that' when they ask about it. Not the super-genius who designed a network-login dialog that still prompts users to log in despite having no network connections available.

Pause and consider that one for a second. What is this, the fucking cheese shop sketch?

Example after example, listing shit that the software should have been able to work out for the user, that the user has no business knowing, or that the user has been relentlessly trained not to look at.

Didn't set the correct network proxy in three levels of menus under the control panel as you have to after walking to a different place? And they are the idiot in this picture?

Ha, stupid commuter - thought you could just sit on the bus and get where you're going? Don't you know you have to get out and recalibrate the engine when you travel into a neighbouring suburb? You don't even know how to do that? Kids these days, pfah.

We teach them not to look, we teach them not to try to solve things themselves, we hide shit from them, fake them out, and make the task seem vastly more complex than it really is. We set them up to fail, we shit on them for failing, then we get frustrated because they don't even try.

Well gee, Lois. Here's a thought. Maybe stop doing that, and then your own job will be easier.

Good UX means never having to say RTFM.

 

God, yeah. "Flip this switch to turn on the wireless for your laptop...what, you didn't know that this tiny switch, which is located in a spot that requires flipping the laptop upside down and looking at one of the sides, is what you needed to toggle? What a noob."

And the bit where he shat on a kid who dared to raise their hand and go "um, I think my computer has a virus" because of a pop-up - because, y'know, a pop-up that's formatted for an older OS and is insisting that you need to scan for viruses isn't worrying and surely can't be carrying viruses itself (and never mind why the pop-up showed up to begin with). Or the kid who had, probably, tried everything she could think of to get her computer to turn on...and didn't realize the problem was the monitor, because the on/off buttons are hidden and it might not even have indicator lights to show whether or not it's plugged in (one of mine doesn't! and neither of them have easy-to-find buttons!).

And just miss me with that "your computer is infected with viruses, you'll need to reinstall Windows - oh, you're staring blankly at me, you must have no idea how computers work" nonsense. Because sure, reinstalling Windows will fix the problem - the same way that setting the house on fire will fix a termite infestation. Plus, you need to 1) know how to completely reformat the computer (and get any important files off of it, without them being infected), and 2) have a valid install to put on it, and 3) know how to set up a new install (and how to set up an anti-virus program).
I'd have slapped him for any of this, but especially the bit where he accuses his coworker of not knowing how to use computers because she busted her old iPhone and needs help figuring out how to transfer her contacts and files to the new phone - when iPhones are notorious for having difficult-to-work-with user interfaces when it comes to moving things from one phone to another, and Apple deliberately makes it as hard as possible for the user to do it themselves.

God, that article is so infuriatingly obnoxious with its "we used to know how to service our own cars and build our own computers, we're worse off for not knowing these things" condescension. Like - no, dude, there are not enough hours in the day to do those things and still have time to do anything else.

 

Not to mention that the current trend of tech design has been to hide more and more of a device's functionality where it's anywhere from difficult to outright impossible to find. I am, by this dickhead's estimation, capable of using a computer, and I've been using Windows since I was little, but when I first used a Windows 10 computer it took me a pretty significant amount of time to figure out how to access as basic a function as the Add and Remove Programs list, because they put a duplicate version of it with far less functionality in a prominent place and buried the link to the old Control Panel.

 

As some context, I spent four days camping and larping recently and didn't shower between wednesday night and monday morning. I reached that level of stank where you don't even smell yourself anymore except to distantly note that your hair kind of smells like smoke and recall that you've been wearing the same sweater for 48 hours except for the half hour you took it off to go swimming, then dried yourself off with it because you couldn't find your towel. The trip ended with 12 hours in a car with someone who stank even more than me. By the time I got home and fell into bed I was basically noseblind.

Anyway, I showered monday morning before work and as soon as I stepped into work had to stop and blink away tears. It REEKED of cleaning chemicals where they had cleaned the floors the night before. Walking down the soap aisle was like having a different perfume sample sprayed at me every step for twenty feet. I could smell the bread from fifteen feet away. The candy aisle was like being assaulted by chocolate and mint.

I got used to it after a few hours, but hot damn, you never notice how many smells there are until you're used to your own stink.

 

what i said: sorry about your wait
what they heard: sorry about your weight
what i say now: thank you for your patience

 

I had a woman come in a while back and bought nothing but three cartons of cigarettes. Cleaned me out of newports. When i handed her the reciept she told me i should be careful touching the receipt paper

Because it would give me cancer

 

...

 

I had someone come to the register with a lit cigarette today. He had it held low enough that I didn’t see it at first until I noticed the smoke. Thank goodness he only had one thing so it was very quick. Next time I won’t be as lenient

 

The worst customer is the one who shows up at a register with the light off and starts loading their items up bc "someone else is already in line"
Yes, ma'am, that's because either 1) they were here before I shut off or 2) they did the same damn thing and I'm not allowed to tell either of you to fuck off

 

Since I had forgotten about this thread since I’ve started working at a dollar general I figured I’d share some of my “favorite” regular customers.

The lady with a sever undercut that’s always dyed bright green. Comes in at least once a week and tries to use multiple coupons for the same item and then gets angry when it doesn’t ring up like it should. Sometimes brings her kids who are loud, messy, and demanding. She then proceeds to yell at them in return.

This old guy and his middle age son. The dad creeps me the heck out and is constantly calling me sweetie or honey or baby. The worse though is they smell like they’ve never seen a shower before.

A different old guy that buys a pack of cigs and then sits in one of the chairs for sale outside the door and smoke them.

The group of extreme couponer wantabees that we have pretty much got to go elsewhere. The last one did six separate transactions and then decided to return two things that didn’t ring up like she thought.

Fun thing to add to that. The woman that threw an absolute fit over not being able to use five of the same coupon in one visit.( they all said limit two per day)

All the “ what do you mean this shirt isn’t on sale!” Ladies

All the folks that cuss ya out for having to id them for cigarettes.

My personal of those. The “well that’s gay they’ve never had to before.” Lady.

And my favorite of them all not really a regular since I haven’t seen them since.
Husband and wife come up with a couple ice cream cones. The wife needs cigarettes so I ask for her id. “ I don’t have it it’s in my purse in the car.”
“I’m sorry but store rules state I have to have one in order to sell them.”
The husband goes outside to get it all the while cussing under his breath. I just roll my eyes and bag up the ice cream. My the time I’m finished he’s back and I finish ringing them up. The husband starts complaining that he wants to exchange his ice cream because “it will have melted by now.” I tell him that’s fine as long as it’s the same kinds. He just takes the bag and walks out.
I hand the wife her receipt and she says. “ you know it wouldn’t hurt to smile” and starts out pausing at the door long enough to shout. “She couldn’t even smile!” I’m assuming to try and get my manager but jokes on her they don’t give a darn about stuff like that. I just turn to the next guy in line who is looking absolutely dumbfounded and we both just laugh at her.

Oh and bonus shoutout to the black guy wearing a rebel pride hat. That’s something I didn’t expect to see.

Sorry for long post.

 

This past week we had two separate customers who were not so much “in a hurry” as just rude.

One was in drive thru dropping off a prescription, I took it and said “okay let me see what we have here”, and they just drove off without a word. Standard procedure is we verify they’re set up in our database first and, you know. Ask when they wanna pick it up. Hope they weren’t wanting it right away!

Second customer was in line while I was helping another customer, started at the “please wait here for patient privacy” sign and just crept forward until they were at the counter and asked if they could drop their prescription off. I told them I was helping another customer and asked them to please wait by the sign.

 

A lady that I've definitely never seen a day in my life gave me a hug because she said I'm always working. The deep south is weird.

 

See, this is what's great about Australia: you can use 'sir' as a deadly insult.

Like the English, Australians are all about subverting dominance displays - you win them by choosing to lose, and laughing at yourself for doing so.

As such, what other countries might consider insolence and over-familiarity is actually a show of respect - tossing them a verbal punch on the arm to laugh off.

And conversely, you only have to be a tiny bit obseqious to suggest that they're a horrible little-dog-syndrome diva whose tiny little ego is so fragile it has to be constantly padded and lubricated with lashings of formal politeness.

So if a customer is being a dickhole, you just smile, call them 'sir' and be terribly, terribly sincere in your desire to please.

Every single person around will know exactly what the score is, and have a great deal of sympathy for you, while staring daggers at the back of your customer - but there's not a single damn thing they can say about it, even if they pick up on it themselves.

 

I adore the place i work right now because we’re all trapped in retail hell together and all the managers started exactly where i am right now.

Me: takes a drink from my water while ringing someone up because i was yelling the day before and had a sore throat
Customer: you really shouldnt be doing that in front of me
Me: i can do whatever i want
Customer: goes to tell manager on me, like 20 feet away
Manager: yeah, she can do pretty much whatever she wants

 

I think this guy gave me hives.

You think this kid doesn’t know computers and you want him to reinstall his operating system? Damn right that should earn you a blank stare. Listen you IT bozo: you are the problem. It is you. You are a major contributing factor to these users not asking a knowledgeable person whether they can do without antivirus. Nobody has any cause to expect anything but irritated screeching from you.

 

I found the perfect analogy for when developers try to handle UX:

 

(This isn't even much of a joke. The glass is "toughened" in that it won't shatter when hit with your fist or something, just break into a few safe-to-handle pieces, but anyone who sees that just gets confused, which could be deadly in an emergency situation.)

 

i mean it would confuse me in a genuinely harmless everyday situation because WAT.