Customer Service Thread

So im doing a training program as a receptionist for a while, and i dont speak spanish hardly at all, so i was taught to say "un momento por favor" and transfer to someone in the office that does, and i keep almost saying "porque no los dos?" instead because the internet has ruined me

Also answering phones is hard and i hate it, but my boss actually took the time to make me a handmade script for different common calls, and seeing as i mostly follow context when i cant quite parse someones speech, its definitely helping a Lot

 

Delivered a pizza to room 420 in a hotel tonight. The recipient was the single most stoned person I’ve ever seen. She could barely hold a pen to sign the receipt. She almost didn’t remember to take her pizza into the room after she handed me back the receipt. I asked for my pen back and she said “oh shit, sorry,” and then didn’t give me my pen back. She also tipped me ten dollars and did enough math on the second line that I was sure she was tipping ten and not one with the decimal in the wrong place.

Fuck it. For ten dollars she can have my pen.

 

I might be a jerk, but...

Girl came in today, asked for no ketchup on her sandwich. Ok. Said she was allergic. ALRIGHTY.

Hollered at the boys in the back to change their gloves.

She asked for Mac sauce. I politely told her that i waa pretty sure ketchup was included in the ingredients and for safety reasons the restaurant wouldn't feel comfortable putting it on her sandwich.

"Well i think mac sauce is mostly Thousand Island"

"I think thousand island has ketchup in it too, i just want to be safe"

Her boyfriend asked for Mac sauce on his and also had ketchup, so im assuming they aren't worried about smoochy contamination.

Either she was fibbing or it was only an intolerance to ketchup. But maybe now she'll phrase differently. And hey, I don't fuck with safety. Someone rang in a vanilla coffee in drive thru while i was working, and when I said the flavor as I was handing it out the lady asked if it was sugar free, so I dodged a bullet there. And if im unsure of a diet coke i dump it out and make a new one. I may find my job and most customers annoying but fuck if im causing you any harm.

According to google thousand island and Mac sauce are both very likely to contain ketchup. I didn't inform the girl because i didn't want to sound too bitchy lmao. You can only coat snark with so much sugar.

 

Started driving for Lyft and some of the customers are, uh, not all that bright. I'm choosing to believe it's because I'm mostly driving after 10 pm and not everyone is at their best late at night. But some of these are hard to be that generous with.

Picked one woman up from walmart and drove her home. She told me "second house on the right." I pulled up to the second house on the right. She said, really condescendingly, "your other right, honey." I asked her to hold up her right hand. She did, held up the right hand, and after a few seconds connected that she was the asshole. I drove the same woman again last night. She works there and gets off right when I start driving. It was a very quiet ride, but I got her house on the first try.

Another pickup from the same walmart, to a different neighborhood. Neighborhood was very dark, with most of the lights out. Customer said to turn right at the light. The only light I saw on the right was way in the distance, so I kept driving. She said "aw, you missed it." I asked what she meant. She pointed out the left window and said "that was your turn." I said "oh, on the left." She said "I dunno. I'm colorblind." Like. Ma'am.

 

Got a prank call last night at work.

Caller: is this the Pizza Hut?

me: no, sorry, this is-

caller: is this the Taco Bell?

me: …

caller: is this the combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell?

me: no, this is Patrick.

 

Still at the pizza job, and tonight I had the most bafflingly stupid customer of my life, for the second time in a month. The address on the order was 1079 East [road name], apartment 13. I went to the address, found a small single-dwelling house full of people who had in fact not ordered pizza, and called the customer.

Me: can you confirm the address on your order?
Her: 1079 East [road name].
Me: I don't think that's right. I'm at 1079, and you're not here.
Her: Oh.
Me: Can you tell me what road you're on?
Her: East [road name]
Me: Alright. What intersection are you near?
Her: I'm by the trash can.
Me, internally: Oh, it's that dumbass.
Me, externally: Alright. I think I know where I'm going now.

About three weeks ago I had another wrong address on the same street. I called her and managed to get her to give me directions to her apartment, in spite of the fact that she didn't know her address beyond a street name and a random stab at a number, only knew one other street name in the area, was kind of fuzzy on what a house was (she lives in a large apartment complex but called it a house), and didn't consistently know her left from her right. I lucked the fuck out in that the only other street she knew was the three-block-long street that I happen to live at one end of, and found her apartment complex after a lot of driving around on the phone with her.

I took an educated guess. Same customer tonight, different wrong address, but there can only be so many bafflingly stupid people on one road, and she was waiting outside for me when I drove up next to the dumpster her apartment shares a wall with. It's also worth noting that the apartment she was standing in front of, and went back into when I gave her her pizza, had a 14 on the door, so she didn't even get that right.

 

I think I delivered a pizza for a dog tonight. It had to be remade, and I got to see it the second time. Large pizza, no sauce, light cheese, extra ham, and absolutely no garlic oil. The first one had garlic on it and was unacceptable. Drove it it a hotel that allows dogs and delivered to a room with a guy and a Saint Bernard.

 

Ok but a place that has to be reminded not to do garlic oil sounds great, I love garlic.

 

My new coworker is either high at work every single day or genuinely might be one of the stupidest people I've ever worked with. I had a customer give me a wrong number and no instructions on how to get into his apartment complex today, so I couldn't deliver his order. Called the store, as per protocol. D answered.

D: Uuuhahhaahhhaaaa. Hi. Thank you for choosing dominos. Is this going to be for carry out or delivery.
Me: Hi D. It's Seth. I need you to cancel an order. Someone gave me a wrong number.
D: So... they gave you the number to the wrong store? Which store are you looking for?
Me: Dude. It's SETH. The driver. We've worked together for a month.
D: Oh. What?
Me: A customer gave me the wrong number and bad instructions. I can't get in contact with him. Can you cancel the order?
D: Do you want me to try calling him?
Me: D. He gave us the wrong number. We can't call him. It's someone else's phone number.
D: So what do you want me to do.
Me: cancel the fucking order D. Cancel the order so I can come back to the store.
D: I'm gonna see what [manager] thinks I should do.

 

For what it's worth, my manager canceled the order immediately. No questions asked. Literally "hey [manager]. wrong number, can't deliver." "Alright. I'll cancel it. Come on back."

 

Not exactly new but I've noticed a direct correlation between "people who can't seem to keep their damn mask on their face properly" and "shitty entitled customer". like not all of the former are the latter, but the reverse is like 98% true. :/

last week a group of guys w/ masks firmly under their noses came in and started shilling NFTs to my coworker. you can't make this shit up.

 

I don't know if this happens at any other store, but it drives me crazy when customers hand me things one at a time. Just put everything on the fucking counter!! Let me scan!